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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

This No Football Malarkey.......


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Old but good. (possible Sebnando but WGAF)

 

A woman goes into Harrods to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.

 

She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark glasses.

 

She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

 

He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

 

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

 

He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb.Test line. It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale this week for ?44."

 

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"

 

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor."Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.

 

As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts.

 

At first she is really embarrassed but then realises there is no way the salesman will know it was her who vented to the atmosphere. The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be ?58.50 please."

 

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for ?44. How did you get to ?58.50?"

 

He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are ?44, but the Duck Caller is ?11 and the Fish Bait is ?3.50."

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Whilst having kinky sex in a guys van the girl asked him to whip her. He improvised by snapping the antenna and whipped her to multiple orgasms. A week later the girl goes to the Doctor as the marks wern't healing. The Doctor said

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Its the worst case of van arial disease ive ever seen"

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A Policeman spots a man of African origin dancing on the roof of a Ford car, he phones for back-up.

 

Radio Operator: Whats the situation?

 

PC: "Theres a big nig nog dancing on the roof of a car"

 

Radio Operator: "You cant say that, you have to use the correct terminology"

 

PC: "Ok, Zulu, Foxtrot, Sierra"

 

 

Ill apologise now, and i didnt make it up either so dont blame me :pardon:

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