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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

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Friday Jokes

Police marksmen only needed to open fire 3 times with tazer guns at the Dale Farm.

 

They won a goldfish, a coconut and a huge inflatable hammer.

 

As Westlife announced the split Louis Walsh admits his heart is all over the place, but his penis is still going in One Direction..

Edited by Breightmet Boy

Featured Replies

Whats black and has two broken arms. Colonel Gaddafi's sunglasses

Paul McCartney has already had a falling out with Nancy Shevell.

 

Apparently she?s spending twice as much on shoes as his previous wife.

Whats black and has two broken arms. Colonel Gaddafi's sunglasses

 

 

Owd bird I work with thinks that one's piss funny, ta. :good:

  • Author

My Uncle Pete was a shit ventriloquist,

 

he used to stick two fingers up my arse and ask me not to say anything..

We had burglars last night. Stole my scrabble board. I'm lost for words.

went to the doctors yesterday and told i struggle finishing my crosswords.

 

he said 'you cant get too down'.

What's green and turns red at the touch of a button?

 

 

 

 

 

 

A frog in a liquidizer

My sons favourite: what do you call a 3 legged donkey?

 

 

 

- a wonkey

I got sacked on my first day as a tree surgeon.

 

All I did was attempt to remove a man's appendix with a conifer.

I got sacked on my first day as a tree surgeon.

 

All I did was attempt to remove a man's appendix with a conifer.

sounds like a job for.......

My sons favourite: what do you call a 3 legged donkey?

 

 

 

- a wonkey

 

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

Worrying thing is I find it funny but Iam 40 and Iam presuming your son is under 5

The Mrs phoned me today to say her mother was seriously ill and that I should get to the hospital as soon as possible. She said she hadn't got long to live and could be dead by Sunday.

 

I told her I was watching an interesting documentry on telly and would pop round later.

 

She was blazing. Fucking record it and watch it later! She shouted.

 

So I put took the camcorder and tripod to hospital and set it up at the side of the bed.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

Worrying thing is I find it funny but Iam 40 and Iam presuming your son is under 5

 

He is 17, and hasn't got a girl are you surprised?

He is 17, and hasn't got a girl are you surprised?

 

:D thats better than the joke

  • Author

Woman in Tesco notices a young assistant. He has such a cute arse it makes her randy! She asks him to carry her shopping to her car. On the way she can't hold back any more and says "I've got an itchypussy". He says "you'll have to point it out love, all these fucking Japanese cars look the same to me!

A recent survey has found that 1 in 3 women is as stupid as the other 2

this ones a bit sick but here goes

two little lads talkin

 

(BOY A)WHAT YOU GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS

 

(BOY B)A HORSE,A BIKE,A PS3,A 50 INCH TELLY TO PLAY IT ON,LOADS OF NEW CLOTHES,AND I'M GOIN ON HOLIDAY TO FLORIDA

 

(BOY A)GOD I WISH I HAD LEUKEMIA

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