On holiday, first night.

 

After about 9 hours on the superbok I fell into my bed but woke up busting for a piss. Proper corp horse stuff. But you know in your own place you can go for a piss without barely waking up well I thought I was there. And duly walked into the patio door.

 

That in itself set off an unfortunate chain of events.

 

Firstly I didn't know where I was. Then I realised with the shutters down it was literally pitch black. Could not see my hand in front of my face.

 

I then didnt have a fucking clue where the bathroom was or where the lights with was.

 

It starts to get worse as my bladder is about to empty about 20 pints of piss so I panic and start to feel my way around the walls squeezing my knob so I don't piss on the floor. Imagine me naked, squeezing my knob, crouching standing shuffling along in the search of a door or light switch tripping over furtniture and clothing, cussing and fucking at some ungodly. Not good.

 

Anyway.

 

I failed. Miserably.

 

The initial outpouring (which may have been about four and a half pints by which time I thought "fuck it") allowed me to control my bladder for a few seconds so I could find the bathroom upon which I pissed for about an hour.

 

Thankfully it's a wooden laminate and there are plenty of towels. And it's not my apartment either.

 

I learned the lesson. Not drinking so much isn't an option so I'm going to leave the shutters slightly open instead.

 

 

 

Went for a night out with the boss.

 

I was in Plymouth at the time and he was in Exeter, so I stayed over. Nice guy, but I didn't know him that well.

 

The usual drinkfest ensued and, as per Smiiffs, woke up in the middle of the night, not knowing the geography.

 

 

Anyway, saw a door and started to piss.

 

 

It was his wardrobe.

 

He never mentioned ut. As I said, a nice guy.

Is this a de ja vu moment?

Is this a de ja vu moment?

 

The Toulouse incident involved sick and poo as well.

I gather you have a nurse on the way

 

You can up the pace now and any mess will be dealt with.

She's a bigger pisscan than the bloke I'm with

Well she's on her way out tomorrow all excited, I hope you've got rid of the smell piss

Wasn't a strange place but home,anyway I had got home one Sunday night totally shitfaced,went straight to bed.Woke up in morning to see the wife with a mop and alook that was not filled with love,"Whats the matter" I say "whats the matter you only got up and weed all over the wall,your clothes and the dog" After cleaning up she went straight round to my mams complaining of said deed, to which my mams reply was " The trouble with our K is he does not get out enough" Mams are ace.

She's a bigger pisscan than the bloke I'm with

 

Your week has all the makings of a Little Whitt fantasy.

I have vague memories of having a piss in the car park below where I live at 6am this morning.

 

Also somewhat sketchy memories of a fat bird showing me both of her pierced nips and snogging a very, very hammered Katy Perry lookeylikey but me spurning her advances as I was worried I might get a call from the pigs this morning and being accused of being a raper.

 

The joys of living in town.

Edited June 23, 201214 yr by DazBobParr

I have vague memories of having a piss in the car park below where I live at 6am this morning.

 

Also somewhat sketchy memories of a fat bird showing me both of her pierced nips and snogging a very, very hammered Katy Perry lookeylikey but me spurning her advances as I was worried I might get a call from the pigs this morning and being accused of being a raper.

 

The joys of living in town.

 

Wishing I had stayed out now

Edited June 23, 201214 yr by Danny G

I gather you have a nurse on the way

 

You can up the pace now and any mess will be dealt with.

 

I will not be dealing with any 'mess'

She's a bigger pisscan than the bloke I'm with

 

At least I make it to the bathroom without pissing all over the floor.

 

Have you washed the towels??

 

 

At least I make it to the bathroom without pissing all over the floor.

 

Have you washed the towels??

 

Yes in a load of Piss.

in my bing abusing heyday,one of the posters from on here who shall remain nameless,stayed at my house for a weekend session. he went for a piss,wandering all over the show,before deciding to piss all over the corner of the vestibule,then standing there for half hour looking at the wall,aka the last moments of blair witch. then i give him a rolled up ?20 note and said 'get this snorted' in reference to a showbiz line i'd racked up.

did he snort it ?

 

did he hell,he lit the ?20 note,thinking it was a cig !!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

At least I make it to the bathroom without pissing all over the floor.

 

Have you washed the towels??

 

That's your first job when you get here. I'll go back on the lash and you can sort the washin.

That's your first job when you get here. I'll go back on the lash and you can sort the washin.

 

Go and tickle your fat auntie

I would but she's on the strip pole dancing and shoving things up her bits for ten euros a pop