I got bit by a red ant and scratched by a wild cat on the same day in Koh Samui a few years ago. I thought i was dying,seriously ill,sweating like a Yid on a train.

 

In Warsaw in '99 watching England,i had the serious runs,so went to a chemist trying to explain my problem. they gave me some pills which i wolfed down. Turns out they were fucking laxatives. I was on the bog more than Bobby Sands handwriting

 

Nothing worse than being ill when miles away from home

I agree here........you always read people on trip advisor saying they got a bad stomach etc. I go away expecting this, especially when you get different ingredients, cooking styles, hygiene etc. I wouldn't complain about it unless I was seriously ill. Just part and parcel of going abroad.

 

I meant specifically the Dominican Republic . I think they must ship in industrial strength oil drums of ebola on a weekly basis for how many people come back grim as.

A knockout drink of sangria in a shady bar, give me and the girlfriend the squits in Ibiza.

Cut my leg on some coral when snorkelling at Ras Mohammed. I was told to be careful on the next dive as the toxins can get into your blood and fuck you up.

 

On the next dive I stayed at the back of the group - so I didn't keep getting kicked by the m0ngs who were flailing around and who'd forced me into the coral on the previous dive.

 

The dive 'leader' who was at the rear of the group then had to swim someone back to the boat as they were struggling with the current. All of a sudden it felt like all my energy had evaporated and I couldn't swim. The group were completely oblivious and were very quickly miles away from me. I didn't even have the energy to shout for help. The water started going down my snorkel as I couldn't keep my head out of the water so I took it off ... and it was then I realised I was in deep shit.

 

Oddly, despite the fact I knew I was drowning I felt strangely calm. I just remember thinking this isn't the way it's supposed to end for me. There was no hope for me so I just accepted it and went under.

 

Next thing I feel an myself being pulled upwards and my head is back out of the water. Another boat load had luckily arrived and set off and their leader had seen me ahead of them and swum like Michael Phelps to rescue me.

 

He took me back to my boat, checked I was okay and then dashed off again. I never got chance to thank him properly or even ask him his name - although I reckon it was probably Mohammed.

I had 12 stitches in my head in Kavos and had to have my stitches out their too. A costly exercise I wouldn't recommend for anyone to do!

 

I also got a first taste of what it was like to have a Bobby Charlton style comb over.

Edited May 20, 201313 yr by tomski

got an eye infection after a dip in a pool in tenerife

 

eye swelled up like fuck, got put on antibiotics and told not to drink for a week

 

was on day 2 of a 7 day holiday

 

the next 5 were a bit of a daze and I look like I'd been repeatedly twatted in the eye

 

didn't pull

 

blamed the eye

got an eye infection after a dip in a pool in tenerife

 

eye swelled up like fuck, got put on antibiotics and told not to drink for a week

 

was on day 2 of a 7 day holiday

 

the next 5 were a bit of a daze and I look like I'd been repeatedly twatted in the eye

 

didn't pull

 

blamed the eye

 

You didn't used to go to Whelan's cesspool on Burnden did you? I'd look closer to home if you did, and it was around three years ago, and you used the pool/steamroom there...

 

Ah, f*ck it, whom I kidding? It's just a chance for me to publicly muckrake the reputation of that place again.

Edited May 20, 201313 yr by Youri McAnespie