maaarsh

Not by a long way, but middle order batsmen should be averaging more than 35 if that's all they do. As an all-rounder he's excellent batter, and you could make a Jonty Rhodes argument if he was a career batsman he'd be marginal on current performance.

Yep - should have mentioned the 3 good players (and I'm giving Bairstow the benefit of the doubt, but he is looking worryingly like a 12 month wonder at the moment) are all in crap form too.

Kiwi commentators trying to big up their win 'England bat very strong down to Bairstow at 7' - somewhat ignores that 3 of those 7 are clearly substandard, and Stokes, whilst exciting, is not able to justify selection as a batsman alone unless we've really dropped our ambitions.

I bow to no man in thinking Warner is a twat, but Chris Cairns retired 3 years before Warner started playing, so think you may have heard wrong. Telling that not even the Australians are trying to sell a redemption story on Warner. He's always been a very conspicuous nob head, and they've taken the view that he's our nob head, but it looks like even the Aussies are having a rethink now.

Vince averages 22 in Tests, reaching 50 in 2 innings out of 20. In first class he averages 38. In warm up games he managed to get out 3 times in 2 innings after the coaching setup kept sending him in, in a desperate attempt to let him find form. Livingstone averages 46 in first class cricket and was top scorer in the only innings he was selected for on this tour. So there was only 1 choice when England needed to call in another batsman...

James Vince back in tonight. I've not a fucking clue why. Livingstone apparently selected to give him a free holiday.

Bunch of pathetic twats. Warner hiding behind his wife and kids to avoid the press, utterly shameless.

Always thought he's a twat, and the fact he's actively fighting for his job rather than resigning instantly just confirms what a low life he is. Perfect coach for Australia on second thoughts.

Collapsing in a heap now. Hard to believe they have the gall to keep playing, but nice to see them ritually embarrassed like this. Can't get over the 1 match ban for 1 player. Pakistani's fiddled an irrelevant side stat and went to prison. Australia have stolen whole Test matches and series through cheating for who knows how long, and they're going to get a tap on the wrists.

And I've got some magic beans to sell to anyone who thinks their coaching team weren't in on it. Rotten to the core. Nearly as criminal as our selectors.

Apparently this was the first time they ever did it... Strange that the ball hooped all Ashes long, and they they forgot their legal tactics for achieving that and decided to cheat. 1 match ban is unbelievably lenient - given the entire team was collectively in on it, hard to see how they shouldn't all be taking a long break from all competitions.

Tests start next week. Livingstone top scored first warm up game, but then left out of the 2nd game. Meanwhile Vince gets out 3 times in 2 innings scoring bugger all in the proces. He's going to have to shag Strauss's misses on live TV to get dropped.

I might be concerned if I gave a monkeys about international football. We're currently running round asking various allies to boycott and sanction and cause themselves harm to send a statement. I wouldn't blame them for telling us to do one if we can't even bring ourselves to miss a game of kickball.

I think the line is 'not all Russian's are crooks' - but it's no doubt very hard to accurately work out who is in Putin'c pocket and who isn't

The member for Russia Today suggested the Tories were in hock to the Ruski's

No way we can take part in the world cup now. When it first happened you had to wonder at what stage assassinating someone in someone else's country turns in to a chemical weapons attack on a foreign country, and it looks like they've put enough people in hospital to step over that line.

I always knew he was genuinely stupid (some of the Frampton build up press was excruciatingly embarrassing) but I didn't realise his entire team was dim too http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/boxing/43350142

It's the fact someone who was never elected is using an appointed position to an 'impartial' role in order to give themselves a political platform which they are using as part of an active political campaign, releasing remarks via the remain campaign on the morning of a speech by Liam Fox. I know Liam Fox is a fool as much as anyone else (and have had the misfortune of trying to make conversation with him) - but that doesn't stop it feeling deeply improper to be constructing a political soapbox out of a career in a profession which is supposed to live and die by its impartiality. As for the hissy fits, GoD is rolled out to the Sunday morning breakfast shows 2 or 3 times a year to make snide comments about ministers who dare to suggest the civil service are not necessarily doing their best - if you've never seen this, then feel free to google for yourself.

Say what you like - just don't have a hissy fit when people point out you're not impartial. Civil servants seem to have incredibly thin skins and need constant reassurance that everyone considers them paragons of virtue. They're humans like anyone else - some of them are good, some bad, and none are capable of perfectly impartiality.

Ex Civil servants can indeed say what they like (as the civil service code has no forward looking conflict of interest provision unlike the ministerial code, precisely because the rules assume they should not be important enough to worry about) - but current civil servants need to stop getting so upset when people point out their partiality and bias on policy where they are clearly seeking to divert or obstruct, when their erstwhile colleagues like Donnelly and O'Donnell are making those accusations look stunningly obvious.

Always nice to see our impartial civil service in action, unbiasedly enacting the will of the people as expressed by the democratically elected Government. The envy of the world, and any criticism whatsoever is a disgusting undermining of their unimpeachable impartiality.

The best bit is, she's brighter than Jeremy. At this point the Labour front bench barely has an A level to rub together between them - and the ones which did go to University are brains of Britain like Diane Abbott...

Points decision wasn't it? He tried to fight like a big banger and he didn't even have the biggest punch in the ring.

Well he's definitely not going to get anywhere near his ambitions at boxing - it's far too late now at 28 to develop the skills he lacks. So yes, the only question is how much money he needs to retire, and he might as well if he's comfortable with his bank balance.

While we're here, would love to know how one of the judges had that 115-113. Even the 117-112 looked too narrow. Scoring for aggression is a nonsense when aggression is just a bum rush with some windmilling.