(Load of bollox, but quite funny)

 

 

I remember recently when Bolton scores a goal it's like the second coming of Christ. Fireworks, loud blaring music - in fact this celebration exists for at least 2 years by which time many Arsenal fans have bought planning permission for a house in the away end or set up businesses. By the time Bolton have finished celebrating a goal a small community of Arsenal fans exist with a school, shops, council, government and also political problems with the local Bolton fans. This is bordered off by some control.

 

To add to this, this is another team who plays cheesy music when Bolton score, which no one would dare, listen to in their house. They then hyper-extend the name of the score with a "Jay Jay Okochaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (breathe) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa a a a a a a a (breathe) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Okocha aaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa YEE HAA Okochaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa woo aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (breathe) aaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaa (this goes on for a while WHEN they say) assisted by El Hadji diooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o oooooooooooo o o o o o o o o ooooooooooooo (etc etc)" which is supplemented with the handing over of garlands and flowers and the introduction of an orphaned boy and a girl with only one leg to present medals for bravery and valour to the whole team. Then Jay Jay gives a speech about life and how you must believe and little things make a difference, keeping off drugs and staying in school la la la - then Sam Allardyce comes on to a massive applause and he does a speech about how hard it was living and working down't mines in't old times like and how Bolton Wanderers changed his life and he believes in Bolton and the power of being saved so accept Bolton Wanderers as your saviour.

 

Meanwhile the Arsenal players ponder existence, the world we live in and life in general.

I know that Alan Davies fuckin hates us especially after the 1-1 draw when he couldn't understand our constant baiting of them as well as booing Pires (the diving bastard)!!!!!

that alan davies article was hilarious!!! whinging mockney barsteward!

anybody still got that article about us that jonathan creek wrote?

was it the times or the torygraph he wrote that for? might see if its online somewhere!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,84...-939591,00.html

 

Raining hate at the Reebok

By Alan Davies

It's a shock being exposed to so much irrational fury on a squally day in Bolton

 

 

 

SATURDAY, 7ISH. WE???VE JUST PULLED into Macclesfield on the way back to Euston. Plans to write my column inside Bolton???s ground were abandoned due to squally showers under the roof rendering the jotting of insights a soggy business. Here are some things I remember: one, it is wet; two, it is windy; three, it is as if we are in the nearby Irish Sea; four, it is as if we are off the coast of Larne; five, the wind is blowing the rain around and around so it never lands on the pitch; six, Gael Clichy???s doing well, good feet, very fast, though only just big enough to get on the ride; seven, Vieira???s not at his best; eight, Henry???s got blue boots in readiness to walk on water should it ever come down to earth; nine, Campbell is defending well with head and feet, not with his arms as mysteriously observed in The Times last week by Mick Hume in tirade about Rio-not-that-nice-but-dim; ten, Lehmann is defending well, with his arms, as he is the goalie; eleven, everyone in the ground is unrestrained in their loathing of Arsenal.

Point No 11 dominated the day. Opportunities to support their team were passed up in favour of wave after wave of detestation from the Bolton public. If one of their boys is caught in possession he knows that to fall as if fouled will have an incendiary effect in the stands, 28,000 baying wildly at the continuing injustice that is life itself in the merry North West.

 

 

 

I???ve been to a few hostile places in my fandom but have to wonder if Mr Reebok knew what he was putting his name to when he chose this hate-filled arena. It was funny ??? peculiar and ha-ha. White shirt good, yellow shirt satanic purveyor of evil, black-shirted ref twelfth man for Devil???s Disciples in yellow. The stands either side of us were a blizzard of ???gary neville??? signs throughout. Odd, as the football was competitive, good and even.

 

Then, the audacity of it ??? Arsenal score, Bergkamp tackles near halfway (how dare he?), Bolton boy goes over (FOUL!!), ref waves play on (CHEAT!!), smart pass to Henry sees him in the box and an assist feels inevitable, Freddie arrives and forces a save, Pires scores. Bedlam, we???re chuffed but the funny-shaped roof on this place is coming off, they are insanely cross, they???ve left themselves nowhere to go in the fury stakes. Bolton players pursue the ref and subject him to a fearsome dressing-down, he books one (CHEAT!! CHEAT!!) and the others slope off stroppily. The tackle that brought on this bout of rancour is tactfully replayed on the colour portable hanging from the roof. Looks all right to me but I???m saying nothing as a huge steward has screamed at us to ???Sit down!???

 

The absurd peak of all this rage came at about 4.35. Long ball down Arsenal left finds Bolton full back facing wrong way chasing it. Henry, smelling blood, does that unique nitroglycerine wing-heeled thing and, despite attempt at balking in manner of Formula One backmarker delaying Ferrari, shrugs past his man and into control, silk and satin carpetslipper feet on the end of rocket-fuelled pistons, eyes scanning pitch. It???s like the opening credits to The Six Million Dollar Man.

 

Bolton boys double up and gamely try to stop him, both are elegantly beaten. Slowly, as this crowd-pleasing scenario unfolds, I???m aware that the ground is filled with a cacophony of boos. The longer the second-best player in the world keeps control, the more he is derided. Was it the shrugging off of the first defender, was it the turning round and beating him again,what is there about such a great player in full flight that could make a crowd so eye-poppingly livid? Come on Bolton, listen to yourselves, you???ve got a good team, you???re playing good opposition in a good match. It???s time to face one of life???s most pressing questions: what are you really angry about?

 

The ground is a bit out on the moors, which can send people loopy according to Wuthering Heights. Emotionally unstable with a fatalistic angst that defeats contentment in the face of all rationality? Are you a Charlotte Bronte character or just another Wanderer? Those moors are in Yorkshire, though, and there???s a simpler explanation. It comes from the top, this attitude, from the manager, Samantha Dyke.

 

No ???Welcome to M Wenger and Arsenal??? in his programme notes, just the assertion that Bolton gave ???Wenger and his players the biggest fright of last season???. Don???t be daft Samantha, this is football not a horror film. Turning to the Arsenal page and they???re straight in with the FA Cup being ???modest reward from a season in which their manager had boasted they could go unbeaten???. No he didn???t . . . oh what???s the point?

 

Cheer up Bolton, you???re in the Premiership, you???ve got Djorkaeff, Okocha and pots of TV cash. Enjoy it! Talk about grim up North, right from when I went to the ticket office to be told ???You???ll be all right in the pub if you take that hat off??? (it says Arsenal on it which is still grounds for assault here) until the final whistle I felt a tad unwelcome. Still enjoyed the game though, so there!

 

Hang on, what???s this? Page 63 of the programme, chairman???s page: ???Welcome to the Reebok for what promises to be a fantastic afternoon . . . against our good friends from Highbury???! Mr Gartside, how nice but you must get yourself on page 4 instead of stroppy Samantha. I didn???t get to your bit until Milton Keynes. Wanderers, you will be welcome at Highbury in March, you can wear your caps in our pubs, we won???t be rude about Samantha in the programme and if Jay-Jay beats two men he won???t be booed. Happy holidays . . .

I???ve been to a few hostile places in my fandom but have to wonder if Mr Reebok knew what he was putting his name to when he chose this hate-filled arena.

 

eh? compared to most fans these days, i'd say we were pretty laid back!

 

what girly haired, shandy drinking nonce!

The thing about the first article that makes me smile is that Arsenal seem to be very aware of what happens when we score against them :D/

Looks all right to me but I???m saying nothing as a huge steward has screamed at us to ???Sit down!???  

 

Must be true then!

Looks all right to me but I???m saying nothing as a huge steward has screamed at us to ???Sit down!???  

 

Must be true then!

most supporters would have told him where to stick it! or just ignored him! but the southern shandies from the library do as there told and keep nice and quiet!

Looks all right to me but I???m saying nothing as a huge steward has screamed at us to ???Sit down!???  

 

Must be true then!

 

naah arsenal sold all their tickets, stewards would go newhere near them.

Cockney bastards

Cockney bastards

 

 

Tits me off how they don't speak proper.

 

Fackin' Eoow

 

How's Eoow supposed to say Hell?

 

Awite Tweecoow = Alright Treacle

 

Cockernee Wankaz

[

Tits me off how they don't speak proper.

 

Should that not be ".... don't speak properly.

[

Tits me off how they don't speak proper.

 

Should that not be ".... don't speak properly.

 

 

I've just won myself a pound that said it'd be you that bit. :D/

they should speak proper England, like wot I do

Cockney bastards

 

Is that Linda Lusardi with some bloke who has a big cock in his pants?

Cockney bastards

 

Is that Linda Lusardi with some bloke who has a big cock in his pants?

 

Who the f**k would want to live in Laaandan?? Must have deep seeded emotional/homo issues methinks...............

 

 

 

 

here fishy fishy

Who the f**k would want to live in Laaandan??  Must have deep seeded emotional/homo issues methinks...............    

 

 

 

 

here fishy fishy  

 

 

 

Be ok - somewhere to doss down for London games - just have to behave at the game! :-$

:-# :-# :-# :-# :-#

 

:-F ;pp

Did anyone spot Peter Kays 'LONDON IS SHIT' Baseball cap on Max & Paddy?? Quality.