God knows I've been atheist long enough, so the time has come for me to join a religion - vote now and I'll sign up to the winner!

We have five for you to chose from:

 

Amsterdam Cannabis Ministry

http://www.thc-ministry.net/

does exactly what it says on the tin

 

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Church of the Flying Spaghetti monster

http://www.venganza.org/index.htm

Promulgates the heretical notion that God was in fact a Flying Spaghetti Monster, thus

Website contains a useful analysis of Global Warming, linking it to global pirate numbers:

 

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ON A COLD Saturday morning in March 1954 Mr George King was washing up the dishes in his bed-sitter in Maida Vale when a voice boomed out from nowhere: `Prepare yourself. You are to become the voice of Interplanetary Parliament.' Struck by the unexpectedness of the message George King dropped a plate.

This is how author Christopher Evans introduces our next lot in his book "Cults of Unreason". For this is the Aetherius Society, a bunch of yogic nutcases who believe Jesus is alive and well and living on Venus and who have been worshipping all things flying-saucerish since the 50s.

http://www.aetherius.org/

King was a London taxi driver who formed the religion after being communicated with by a being called Mars Sector 6 who lived on , well, Mars as it happened. details of his communiucations wre published in the in-housew journal "Cosmic Voice". Evans related one of the dramatic episodes:

anyone who feels that the threat of a take-over bid for earth by the Black Powers is exaggerated would do well to ponder the terrifying story of the `Fiends of Garouche', related in Cosmic Voice No. 5 published in 1956. Writing about it at the time George King, while admitting that it read like science fiction, claimed that it was `true in every detail'. He was able to vouch for its authenticity having been himself `intimately concerned in the action'.

The saga runs thus. Some time ago our earth was inspected from afar by highly intelligent fish living on the water-bound planet known as Garouche, situated on `The other side of the Milky Way'. These creatures, aptly described as fiends, made it their purpose to `annihilate all humanoid life on Terra, by drawing the atmospheric belt' away from earth. This, Mars, Sector 6 tells us (erroneously), would not have affected the sea-dwellers on this planet for `they take their oxygen from the water itself'. (For the pilot of a twenty-mile-long spaceship, Mars, Sector 6 is a bit dim about planetary physics.)

 

Happily the plans of these creatures were intercepted by the friendly Martians who intervened at a cost of great effort, and some loss of life. Mars, Sector 6 reminds us that `many from Mars sacrificed themselves in the Cause to save Terra' and he asks those upon earth who `have the decency that goes with humanoid life to realize this'. The skirmish - we are not told what weapons were used, but presumably they were of the spiritual push variety - did not destroy the fish-people from Garouche who then sent a radioactive asteroid to within a few hundred thousand miles of Mars. This was fortunately detected by the robot-miners of that planet, and the asteroid was `deactivated'. `Do not thank us', says Mars, Sector 6 magnanimously, adding that `the Earth-receiver I am now using was nearly killed.

 

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Next we have the Temple of Set

http://www.xeper.org/pub/gil/xp_FS_gil.htm

Hard-core Satanists with intellectual pretensions it's hard to know exactly what they offer:

Originally a circumpolar/stellar deity portrayed as a cyclical counterpart to the Solar Horus, Set was later recast as an evil principle by the cults of Osiris and Isis. During the XIX and XX Dynasties Set returned as the Pharaonic patron, but by the XXV Dynasty (ca. 700 BCE) a new wave of Osirian persecution led to the final destruction of the original Priesthood of Set. When the Hebrews emigrated from Egypt during the XIX Dynasty, however, they took with them a caricature of Set: ???Satan??? (possibly from the hieroglyphic Set-hen, one of the god???s formal titles).

OK, OK but are there black masses with naked women and that???

The Temple of Set determined to preserve the principle of individualism, but to add to it the evolutionary ???higher self??? aspirations of Aleister Crowley???s pre-O.T.O. philosophy of Thelema. Glorification of the ego is not enough; it is the complete psyche - the entire self or soul - which must be recognized, appreciated, and actualized. The process by which this exaltation of the psyche is sought is called by the name Xeper [pronounced ???kheffer???; it is the Egyptian hieroglyphic term for ???to become??? or ???to come into being???].

Hmmmmph...no mention of birds getting their kit off yet [-X

 

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Finally, we have the Methodists:

http://www.methodists.org.uk/

and looking at their website I have to say that there's madness in their Methodists

 

 

So there you go, you decide.

Go for the spaghetti monster then you could have a "Touched By His Noodly Appendage" matching mug & t-shirt.

personally i`d suggest going back to our native pagan gods, but where the feck would you find a virgin these day`s to sacrifice

I'm quite tempted to try and get the old Norse Religions going again!

Thor would kick jesus and mohammeds asses at the same time with one hand behind his back!!

now thats my kind of religious idol!!!

 

 

out of those though i'd pick the spaghetti monster!!

Whats the odds, Fenny pressing the top option?

Whats the odds, Fenny pressing the top option?

low - he'd try to press it, but miss

I voted b. Because everyone knows the rest aren't real religions, especially that methodist option.

Join the mysoginists 'football like Yorkies NOT FOR WOMEN unless........... :br

I've been thinking of devising my own religion, not put much thought into it but it will somehow work by me appearing to perform miracles to which you will donate heavily for, then when you least expect it I will do one with your dosh

 

Anyone care to join?

I've been thinking of devising my own religion, not put much thought into it but it will somehow work by me appearing to perform miracles to which you will donate heavily for, then when you least expect it I will do one with your dosh

 

Anyone care to join?

 

Old news, Sue.

 

The Catholics have beat you to it.

I've been thinking of devising my own religion, not put much thought into it but it will somehow work by me appearing to perform miracles to which you will donate heavily for, then when you least expect it I will do one with your dosh

 

Anyone care to join?

1st Book of Sue, Chapter 6 , verse 1

"And verily,and with great force, did Satan issue forth his spew and lo! the Istanbul taxi driver complaineth not!"

1st Book of Sue, Chapter 6 , verse 1

"And verily,and with great force, did Satan issue forth his spew and lo! the Istanbul taxi driver complaineth not!"

 

Ha Ha! Theres somethings I will just never forget, it's one to tell my great grandkids!

 

1st Book of Sue, Chapter 6 , verse 1

"And verily,and with great force, did Satan issue forth his spew and lo! the Istanbul taxi driver complaineth not!"

 

Ha Ha! Theres somethings I will just never forget, it's one to tell my great grandkids!

maybe miss out verse 2 though:

" and thus did they miss the flight"

im not to sure i only met u at pompy, borro and in the barnstormers a few times, u dont look the relgious(is that how u spell it) type

Bloody hell, the Methodists are on a late run...NOOOOOOOO 8-[

Play safe and worship the ancient greek gods, cos they have a god for everything and your every need.

 

The only god they don't have is a god of premature ejaculation,

however i hear there's one cumming soon!

 

their are the lesser greek gods of course

 

SAMUS - the God of football

STELLIOS - the god of baldies

CAMPOS - the God of barbers and divers

DARIUS - the shit singer

FURGUS - the devil and enemy of the gods

 

you may no more of these lesser gods?

 

On my death bed I shall be reading the bible searching for a loophole in to heaven

well after all that it turned out non of them would have me. not even the methodist 8-[

Sod 'em, I'll start me own....