March 7, 200620 yr I'll start... What did the baby fish say to the mummy fish? Do you believe in cod? Okay, when you've picked yourself up off the floor.... Why do oysters not give to charity? Because they're shellfish. Geddit?
March 7, 200620 yr 2 fish sat in a tank One turns to the other and says...... How do you drive this thing? Bud Dum Tishhhh
March 7, 200620 yr What do you call a fish with no eye? FSH!!!! (I told you they were bad) How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut it's nose off If fish lived on land, which country would they live in? Finland.
March 7, 200620 yr What fish terrorises others? Jack The Kipper Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank. 8-[ Is it dinner time yet!
March 7, 200620 yr Here's that sick squid I owe you. Can't be arse telling the joke. Oh, and I'm a prawn again Christian.
March 7, 200620 yr What fish terrorises others? Jack The Kipper you're a dab hand at this aren't you!
March 7, 200620 yr Bloke goes into a seafood bar and orders caliamari. The waiter said, "To ease identification, sir, would you like to come to the tank and chose the one you'd like?" The chap gets up and follows the waiter to a huge tank. Within the tank there are dozens of squid and octopus; all different colours. "Why are they coloured?" he asks the waiter. "It helps us to fish out the right one," he replied, "And ensures the customer feels he has been served the one he choses." "OK." says the customer, "I'd like that one over there, the one partly obscured by the rocks. The green one" "Oh, sir." said the waiter. "You can't have that one. That particular one is almost tasteless, you just wouldn't enjoy it. Have a red one instead, or blue." "No, I've made my choice," the customer retorted, "The green one please." "But sir, I've told you, that green one is almost tasteless . . . and look! It has facial hair!" Said the waiter. "You'd choke on it. Have a purple one or a yellow one." The customer, growing ever more impatient, said, "Look here. I demand to be served the one over there, the one hiding behind the rocks, the one with the facial hair. I don't care if it is tasteless either. Just bring it to me on a bed of salad." At this, the waiter called the head waiter over. He took the customer to one side and said, "Please reconsider your choice. For the sake of all the staff in this establishment, I ask you to make another choice." "But why is it so important?" asked the bloke. "Well," replied the head waiter, "At the end of the evening, when the place has closed, we run a sink full of very hot water, put the pots and pans in and that squid does the washing up for us." Oh, this is ridiculous" exclaimed the customer. "I don't believe you at all. I demand to see the manager!" The manager came over and said, "Sir, all you have been told is the truth. Haven't you heard of the mild, green, furry-lipped squid?" Remind me to stick to one-liners in future!
March 7, 200620 yr What's the definition of mass confusion? One hundred blind lesbians walking through a fish market.
March 7, 200620 yr What's the definition of mass confusion? One hundred blind lesbians walking through a fish market.
March 8, 200620 yr Adam n Eve on holiday. Eve says "Blimey it's hot, I'm going in the sea to cool off". In she goes and starts splashing water all over herself. "I'm particularly hot down here" she thinks and starts washing her front bot. Suddenly Gods voice booms out of the sky. Oi, Eve, give over, I'll never get the smell off them fish."
I'll start...
What did the baby fish say to the mummy fish?
Do you believe in cod?
Okay, when you've picked yourself up off the floor....
Why do oysters not give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
Geddit?