A lad i know who's a bit of a balloon AND a Man U fan told me this tale that he swore was true- about him being in the Stretford end in the seventies,the story goes that he was right in the middle of the swaying Stretford masses and it was packed to the rafters,he had gone to the match straight from work on a muddy building site, Man U score and the crowd surges forwards - lifting him clean out his welliington boots,the crowd swayed to and fro and sideways etc, and then when the crowd finally settled down - he was dropped straight back into his wellies! (in the right feet and all)

Has a pub balloon ever told you a tale that they swear is true,but it's obviously b0llox?

 

 

Kinell,i meant to put this in banter - sorry

Moved to banter.

It's too bizarre not to be true.

 

If it is a lie, at least it's original

Total bollox without a doube because:

1. he must be a right short arse to be lifted up in the first place

2. through all the swaying the boots didn't get knocked over. Highly unlikely

3. He is a man ure fan

What a load of old tosh, I hope when he told you this story you punched him, and then nicked his welly-boots

christ, conversation must have been slow that night...

christ, conversation must have been slow that night...

 

Not forgetting, I'm now worried that Mr. Bogs struck up a conversation with a short, welly wearing Red! Where were your mates?

christ, conversation must have been slow that night...

 

Not forgetting, I'm now worried that Mr. Bogs struck up a conversation with a short, welly wearing Red! Where were your standards?

probably weren't his own wellies, bearing in mind that most of Mould Trafford are spud munchers

I'm after your "Pub balloon" tales - not your views on the wellies one

 

 

By the way,i've just remembered another one. - During the World Cup i called for a few pints up Blackburn Rd, a local "character" was holding court in the pub,telling us he was ONLY bloke in England to score a goal from a header from his OWN corner kick. The balloon said " Aye,it were windy as fcuk, i sort of skyed my corner kick into a massive headwind and it got held up high,so i ran after it - and just nodded it past the keeper"

 

He didn't seem reet pleased when i told him it wouldn't have been allowed.

 

Pub tales,b0llox and banter - you can't beat it :^o

Some bloke in a bar once told me that dogs can masturbate.

 

And they do it using their hind legs.

 

Where's Swanny when you need him?

Some bloke in a bar once told me that dogs can masturbate.

 

Why do they need to do that when they can lick their tackle easily anyway? Just a thought.

Some bloke in a bar once told me that dogs can masturbate.

 

Why do they need to do that when they can lick their tackle easily anyway? Just a thought.

 

Fair point NB,fair point

 

Why do they need to do that when they can lick their tackle easily anyway? Just a thought.  

 

Fair point NB,fair point

 

One of my favourite jokes....I wish I could do that....If you ask him nicely he might let you!

jayjayoghani wrote:

Some bloke in a bar once told me that dogs can masturbate.

 

 

What kind of bars do you frequent

Ones full of w??nking dogs, I presume.