A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips.

 

Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon. 'It's very brave of you to come out here,' says Matthew. 'Please tell the audience what happened?'

 

'Well' replies Simon 'about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a really bad accident.

 

Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright but I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free.' 'The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn't save my legs.'

 

'That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial? 'asks Matthew.

 

'No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that my uncle had in fact died, but that his legs were fine and with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine. As you can see the operation was successful.

 

I have been having physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of the year. A huge round of applause erupts from the audience.

 

Kelly responds with: 'That's an unbelievable story. So tonight, who are you going to be?'

 

Scroll down...

 

Keep going this is great....

 

It's worth it honest.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Halfuncle'

 

& i dont care if it's a SEB, i thought it was piss funny.

 

toodle pip

coffee everywhere!

Groan..

Yawn.

I had a teeth transplant off one my offsprings once, after a car crash over the canal, i called it "Bridge over troubled waters .

I had a teeth transplant off one my offsprings once, after a car crash over the canal, i called it "Bridge over troubled waters .

 

I once had to deliver a freezer to an ex Pink Floyd front man; he was a bit distracted at the time and even more pissed off when I dropped it on him...."oh feck" I thought "I've just dropped a fridge over troubled Waters"

Edited October 11, 200619 yr by SatanGreavsie

When the Luftwaffe flew over Somerset there was Trouble Over Bridgwater

A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips.

 

Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon. 'It's very brave of you to come out here,' says Matthew. 'Please tell the audience what happened?'

 

'Well' replies Simon 'about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a really bad accident.

 

Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright but I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free.' 'The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn't save my legs.'

 

'That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial? 'asks Matthew.

 

'No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that my uncle had in fact died, but that his legs were fine and with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine. As you can see the operation was successful.

 

I have been having physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of the year. A huge round of applause erupts from the audience.

 

Kelly responds with: 'That's an unbelievable story. So tonight, who are you going to be?'

 

Scroll down...

 

Keep going this is great....

 

It's worth it honest.....

'Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Halfuncle'

 

& i dont care if it's a SEB, i thought it was piss funny.

 

toodle pip

 

 

best joke ive heard for a while

best joke ive heard for a while

 

You either need to get out more or get your mum to buy better quality Christmas Crackers.