Breightmet Boy Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 The shootings at the cinema in Denver have ruined the Batman film for me. All I can see in my pirate copy is the audience running about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted July 26, 2012 Author Share Posted July 26, 2012 Just been thrown out of the chemists. I only asked the woman behind the counter do you take it up the arse love, or do you swallow it? She went mental. Fuck knows what i do with these suppositories now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweep Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I was in a terrible frame of mind this morning, so we dunked the asian lad that we worked with in bleach.....and I'll be honest, it certainly lightened Mahmood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweep Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 My Gran caught me wanking the other day, she was so shocked she had a stroke....... surprisingly soft hands for a pensioner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electric Gretar Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 After screaming & crying at 3 o'clock this morning due to having a terrible nightmare, my son came into my bedroom. "Fucking hell dad," he said, "Are you okay?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted July 26, 2012 Author Share Posted July 26, 2012 Halfway through my shift at Boots yesterday, a guy came in to pick up some photos of his naked wife. Naturally, I had a little peek at them as I handed them over. "Would you like the Negatives?" I asked. "Yes please," he said sheepishly. I said, "ok then, your wife's got saggy tits, a fat arse and she should maybe think about giving that fanny of hers a good trim." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electric Gretar Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I was walking through town earlier with my wife, when a group of teenagers shouted over "Oi, mate! Your missus is seriously fucking ugly!" "Why don't you just fuck off!" I shouted...... At my wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frank_spencer Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 What's better than winning gold at the paralympics? Having legs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny G Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I am still laughing at the " Wetter than a spastics chin" comment from yesterday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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