Ok, I've been to three weddings in the past three weeks with one more to go before the 'season' is over. Looking back and these dos with only vauge memories of each after the main course and after almost having a fight with a best man for nicking a bottle of wine I bought, my question to the group is:

 

What's the worse thing you've ever done at a wedding? (and please no smart arse say 'getting married')

shagged the bride before her new husband did

 

 

still in wedding dress too (her not me)

shagged the bride before her new husband did

 

 

still in wedding dress too (her not me)

which sounds quite bad, and only get's worse when you realise it was when he was Rev. William of Bearsville, and was conducting the service

shagged the bride before her new husband did

 

 

still in wedding dress too (her not me)

 

And you bloody wiped on the dress didnt you? I knew you would. Uggh

Sister in law got married at the Worsley Marriott.

 

We were stopping after and arrived with an hour to spare to get changed. With 45mins to go the missus found she had left the trousers from her suit back at Mother In Laws in Smithills. I sped back in car performing manouveurs Alex Ferguson would have struggled to get away with and luckily this was before the speed cameras went in on A666 and got back just as we should have been going in.

 

The MiL calmly tells me not to worry as they have put the wedding back half an hour. I completely lost the plot asking in no uncertain terms why no-one had bothered phoning me whilst I was risking my driving licence. Had Mil , SiL and missus all in tears beforwe they had to go into the service which I st through with a pint and treble JD chaser.

 

Demolished most of the wine on the table with extra JD chasers during the meal and was a cross between Rab C Nesbit and John Travolta by the time all the guests arrived for the evening do.

 

Just as well I was right that it didn't last more than a year.

Just as well I was right that it didn't last more than a year.

 

What didn't? The marriage or the grief you got?

I used to work with a girl, who on her wedding night woke up to find she was on her own, when she went looking for her husband, she found him shagging one of the bridesmaids in the corridor of the hotel. She actually forgave him...................strangely, the marriage broke down within 6 months, when she found out he was still having an ongoing affair with said bridesmaid - now that is fcuked up!

The marriage.

 

The events of that day don't get raised that often by missus or in-laws as they all know I was right about them not phoning me and I still have a tendency to bluntly tell them that .

The SiL's friends take the p!ss at every opportunity.

shagged the bride before her new husband did

 

 

still in wedding dress too (her not me)

 

 

I thought that has to top the lot, but if you think about it all of us on here will have shagged someone before their current husband/wife has. Now if you had shagged her after the ceremony during the speeches, now that would have been naughty.

Sister in law got married at the Worsley Marriott.

 

We were stopping after and arrived with an hour to spare to get changed. With 45mins to go the missus found she had left the trousers from her suit back at Mother In Laws in Smithills. I sped back in car performing manouveurs Alex Ferguson would have struggled to get away with and luckily this was before the speed cameras went in on A666 and got back just as we should have been going in.

 

The MiL calmly tells me not to worry as they have put the wedding back half an hour. I completely lost the plot asking in no uncertain terms why no-one had bothered phoning me whilst I was risking my driving licence. Had Mil , SiL and missus all in tears beforwe they had to go into the service which I st through with a pint and treble JD chaser.

 

Demolished most of the wine on the table with extra JD chasers during the meal and was a cross between Rab C Nesbit and John Travolta by the time all the guests arrived for the evening do.

 

Just as well I was right that it didn't last more than a year.

 

 

you sat through the service with a pint and a treble JD chaser ?

 

1. why were they serving beer at the service ?

 

2. why did you sit there with ese why did nt you drink them ?

 

3. do nt you lot only drink cider ?

I thought that has to top the lot, but if you think about it all of us on here will have shagged someone before their current husband/wife has. Now if you had shagged her after the ceremony during the speeches, now that would have been naughty.

 

 

i consummated it for him..

 

they're still together too

Edited September 3, 200817 yr by sir william of bearsville

classy bird, dave

you sat through the service with a pint and a treble JD chaser ?

 

1. why were they serving beer at the service ?

 

2. why did you sit there with ese why did nt you drink them ?

 

3. do nt you lot only drink cider ?

 

1. It was in a hotel. I carried them from the bar

2.

3. This was the Marriott. May have had 'bow on draught, but definitely nowt worth drinking.

 

Any more dumbass questions?

going to one in september in scotland just got one of them ?15 suits from tesco to be left up there when done..........just see in now a jock paraffin lamp in a new suit and wife beater vest on

I was told a tale once (not me I hasten to add) about someone (best man or similar) who went to this wedding at some posh remote place in Scotland, as he was getting ready just before the service he realised he had left his suit pants back at home.

 

Middle of nowhere, no shops in the vicinity.

 

So he stood at the church service and night do in full gear, shirt, tie, waistcoat, jacket and hat, smart shoes but wearing a pair of tracksuit bottoms.

going to one in september in scotland just got one of them ?15 suits from tesco to be left up there when done..........just see in now a jock paraffin lamp in a new suit and wife beater vest on

that'll look nice

I bet it has 3 blue stripes down the back of it.

 

Take MickyD with you as you'll be a walking fire hazard.

that'll look nice

it,s jockland no dout groom has same one

left after 25 mins cos it was rubbish, and went to the pub instead

left after 25 mins cos it was rubbish, and went to the pub instead

 

Unless you were the bride, think sir william still has title

They're rubbish and I try to avoid them whenever possible.

They're rubbish and I try to avoid them whenever possible.

 

Cheap nylon suits?

Cheap nylon suits?

 

 

Indeed. And the birds trying a bit of oneupmanship on the outfit front when, in reality, they're all been to the same department store for their dress. Being offered 'champagne' on arrival, when it is infact Pomagne. Having to sit on a table and dine with folk you would, in normal circumstances, avoid like the plague. Being pestered to dance to shit music etc etc etc

Indeed. And the birds trying a bit of oneupmanship on the outfit front when, in reality, they're all been to the same department store for their dress. Being offered 'champagne' on arrival, when it is infact Pomagne. Having to sit on a table and dine with folk you would, in normal circumstances, avoid like the plague. Being pestered to dance to shit music etc etc etc

 

 

You're going to the wrong weddings. Pomage?! Maybe Prosecco, but Pomage?

 

Although after this summer I can now catagorically state that Pimms is shit. Its not the taste of summer, its a sweet, privvt hedge ridden excuse of a beverage.

You're going to the wrong weddings. Pomage?! Maybe Prosecco, but Pomage?

 

Although after this summer I can now catagorically state that Pimms is shit. Its not the taste of summer, its a sweet, privvt hedge ridden excuse of a beverage.

I was being facetious, my point being it's not really Champagne. I can tell the difference and some plebs at wedding's can't. Folk like that sicken me!

I like Pimms.

I was being facetious, my point being it's not really Champagne. I can tell the difference and some plebs at wedding's can't. Folk like that sicken me!

I like Pimms.

 

 

Pimms seriously sickens me.