This is a diary of a lad from darn Sarf who accepted a job at BHP Billiton Iron Ore in Newman (about 2000kms north of Perth in Western Australia). If he'd have checked with someone first.................................

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August 31 - Just got transferred with work from grey old London to our new home in Newman, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I've finally found my new home. I love it here.

 

September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun-worshipper.

 

September 30th - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

 

October 10th - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy though. Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than I expected.

 

October 15th - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed three days of work. What a dumb thing to do! Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

 

October 20th - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit. I've earned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

 

October 25 - This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant fu.kin' blow dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from fu.kin' Perth ...

 

October 30th - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the fu.kin' aircon. Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?

 

November 4 - Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 30. Stupid repairman.

 

November 8 - If one more smart arse says 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to fu.kin' throttle him. Fu.kin' heat! By the time I get to work, the car?s radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking fu.kin' wet and I smell like baked cat!

 

November 9 - Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in the ol' car. I thought my fu.kin' arse was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and my fu.kin' arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat!

 

November 10 - Weather report! It might as well be a fu.kin' recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and fuckin' sunny! It's been too hot to do anything for two fu.kin' months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.

 

November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn fu.kin' place? Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the fu.kin' pool. The only things that thrive in this hell-hole are the fu.kin' flies. You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the fu.kers!

 

November 20th - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 fu.kin' degrees today. Now the air conditioner's gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it and said, Hot enough for you today?' My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid fucker. Fu.kin' Newman! What kind of sick, demented fu.kin' idiot would want to live here!

 

December 1 - WHAT!!!! The first day of Summer!!!! You are fuckin' kidding

Edited January 29, 200917 yr by bolty58

Where's the coldest place?

 

I fancy it but that sort of heat would melt me.

Where's the coldest place?

 

I fancy it but that sort of heat would melt me.

 

In WA it's Albany mate. Reet on t' Southern tip getting towards Antarctica. Fantastic summers, springs and autumns and a winter that can get down to zero now and again.

In WA it's Albany mate. Reet on t' Southern tip getting towards Antarctica. Fantastic summers, springs and autumns and a winter that can get down to zero now and again.

 

Was in Albany a few weeks ago. Beautiful place. Not many pubs though!!

Good one.

Was in Bullsbrook at end of November, early December and some days it was almost unbearable. Thank god for ice cold Tooheys!!

Right about the flies, they drive you fcukin' mad!!!

Was in Albany a few weeks ago. Beautiful place. Not many pubs though!!

 

 

Aye, it was nice catching up with you..........................

This is a diary of a lad from darn Sarf who accepted a job at BHP Billiton Iron Ore in Newman (about 2000kms north of Perth in Western Australia). If he'd have checked with someone first.................................

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

August 31 - Just got transferred with work from grey old London to our new home in Newman, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I've finally found my new home. I love it here.

 

September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun-worshipper.

 

September 30th - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

 

October 10th - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy though. Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than I expected.

 

October 15th - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed three days of work. What a dumb thing to do! Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

 

October 20th - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit. I've earned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

 

October 25 - This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant fu.kin' blow dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from fu.kin' Perth ...

 

October 30th - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the fu.kin' aircon. Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?

 

November 4 - Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 30. Stupid repairman.

 

November 8 - If one more smart arse says 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to fu.kin' throttle him. Fu.kin' heat! By the time I get to work, the car?s radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking fu.kin' wet and I smell like baked cat!

 

November 9 - Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in the ol' car. I thought my fu.kin' arse was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and my fu.kin' arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat!

 

November 10 - Weather report! It might as well be a fu.kin' recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and fuckin' sunny! It's been too hot to do anything for two fu.kin' months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.

 

November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn fu.kin' place? Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the fu.kin' pool. The only things that thrive in this hell-hole are the fu.kin' flies. You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the fu.kers!

 

November 20th - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 fu.kin' degrees today. Now the air conditioner's gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it and said, Hot enough for you today?' My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid fucker. Fu.kin' Newman! What kind of sick, demented fu.kin' idiot would want to live here!

 

December 1 - WHAT!!!! The first day of Summer!!!! You are fuckin' kidding

Good amusing read

Aye, it was nice catching up with you..........................

 

Soz mate. Was out & about all the time. Didn't get into Perth in the evening at all. And I presumed you'd be at work during the day.

In WA it's Albany mate. Reet on t' Southern tip getting towards Antarctica. Fantastic summers, springs and autumns and a winter that can get down to zero now and again.

 

It'll be Tasmania for the whole of Oz?

 

The state that produced Thomas Hamilton. Avoid.

It'll be Tasmania for the whole of Oz?

 

Show us yer mapatazi

when I were in Sydney 3 years ago, hottest new year's day (in sydney) since records began there or something

 

that blokes got it spot on

 

"This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant fu.kin' blow dryer."

 

you'd have thought 45 degrees on new year's day would've been a nice experience

 

was it f?ck

Show us yer mapatazi

 

you cant beat a good ole mapatazi

Soz mate. Was out & about all the time. Didn't get into Perth in the evening at all. And I presumed you'd be at work during the day.

 

No worries mate. I just like to make sure any fellow Wanderer passing through Perth is looked after (oo-err missus! )

 

A few off here have caught up whilst passing through and I shall never be the same. Besides meeting Widders in Nuremeberg and Madrid, this is another reason I sleep with the bedside lamp on.

43c for the third day straight in melbourne.

Below 43F as usual here in Lancashire.

Below 43F as usual here in Lancashire.

 

Truth is - somewhere right in the middle would make us all happy!

Truth is - somewhere right in the middle would make us all happy!

 

Can't see you being happy in India Bolty

Can't see you being happy in India Bolty

 

Funnily enough - me and the missus' next major holiday has a very good chance of being to Cochin, Kerala.

Funnily enough - me and the missus' next major holiday has a very good chance of being to Cochin, Kerala.

 

I heard you liked Cockin.

I heard you liked Cockin.

 

 

Was there really any need for that? I am sickened.