Youri McAnespie

I presume you are 5'10 you midget? You do know they gassed gypsies too? Be careful what you wish for.

Did they pay Yoko Ono John Lennon's royalties for the opening chords? What a dirge.

My Favourite Beatles album would have to be `The Best of The Beatles'. I play it on my stack system which has a nice action.

EFA.

That Beatles/Slade/T-Rex etc. cover band? They even ripped off John Lennon's eyewear. Noel twat wears rings on his fingers, William twat wears a syrup. Their greatest songs would fit on a 7"... Popularity doesn’t equate with good - McDonald's isn't the best eaterie, the scum aren't the best team, 'spoons isn't the best pub, Corrie isn't the best thing on telly. Coked out self indulgent rubbish in the main. Digsy's Dinner? Bonehead's Bank Holiday? Do me a lemon, those who loved them unconditionally know feck all about music.

I was sexualised at a very early age after finding hardcore porn mags under my parents' mattress when I was kipping there sick. I used to try and re-enact what I'd seen with my Action Man and one of my sisters' Cindy dolls, except neither have genitals. Best presents were my BMX and 128k toaster rack Spectrum. Freedom in both cases. And, Sweep, course you'll need a van, to steal scrap metal. On a pushiorn you can get to Manchester in half the time as a car if you're reasonably fit.

Mounts with his posh brainwasher/groomer except the monocled one has his hand uo his arse - not vice-versa.

Garstang Avenue is twat of a hill, I cocked more gears going up there than anywhere - Miguel Indurain would struggle. Raleigh Burners were decent - especially the white and blue with mag wheels. I drunkenly bid on two Om Flyers about ten years ago and won, one was in Bournemouth one in Bristol - I had to give them a score in compo. each after pretending my nephew had used my laptop/account to bid.

An uncle bought me a shit wired car, I got bored with it in ten minutes and decided sticking the steering thing on the chassis on my hair was a good idea - I had a bald patch at eight. We used to mock kids with Budgies and Choppers - I felt like Sonny Crockett in his Ferrari on my BMX.

Going through to Mistry's shop on our BMXs me and a mate would 'surf' standing on our crossbars - this was when it was rat run to the hospital too. I went from Strika straight to BMX. I remember trying to 'Endo' the Strika by peddling at full pelt to a kerb, the Strika stayed where it was, I did a 360 over the handlebars.

Toys breaking on Christmas Day - utter shite, I had a brilliant Pacman LCD game, probably part of a one-off shipment from Japan. I was showing off 'weightlifting' with a kitchen chair and dropped it smashing Pacman - I'd had it about three hours. Could I get another one (in the New Year) could they fuck...

Farmers can keep using it, they don't pay VAT on dog food either, for dogs they unceremoniously shoot when they've outgrown their usefulness. They have big sheds, but nobody is allowed in...

Where is his penguin?

Wayne was a draft-dodging coward. Even John Hope risked his arse going into warzones to play golf and entertain the troops.

It's a fancy boutique now, people prancing about there now in stupid faashionwear where the likes of Blondie, The Ramones and The New York Dolls once played...

@MickBrown The Labour Party of course. Gordon Brown sold gold that weighed more than everyone in Britain put together.

Big Soup is just big vegetable and pulses.

I'd still play Donkey Kong if I had it, I think I gave it to my nephew (and my Gameboy) he broke both within ten minutes. I gave him a 'keyboard' Sony Mobile and he dropped it in the bog after one day.

Magna-Doodle was where it was at. I got a gift set of tiny aftershaves; Insignia, Tabac, Blue Stratos etc. at 9, I thought I was the dogs bollocks.

They wouldn't play me because I was the Kasporov of Connect 4.

It's shite if no cunt will play with you, you have to play with yourself, then play Connect 4 against yourself.

They wouldn't because they'd shit their spacesuits.

I went out with a Polish girl (handful but perfect) for a while - she'd lived here ages and was quite resentful toward the Poles pitching up later. Anyhow we were in Madrid and that Church had a statue of that Pope, I compared him (The Statue) to Dracula and Bishop Brennan, she didn't speak to me for twelve hours. There's a massive street named after him in Warsaw with a shrine where folk can light candles and leave flowers etc. The top end is full of sex shops, strip clubs, 24hr booze shops and I presume, brothels (the street not the shrine).

As a kid? I'd be happy with that today.