Bea Smith

they were just talking extra loudly on purpose in our lug oles about how northeners are rude, thick etc, it wasnt directed at us in particular, but obviously we took offence, jay did the 'evil stare of death' thing that men so often do at football matches.( is that learned at school?) they thought we were the mob, well, they mustve done, cos they had plenty 'lads' with em, missus c being pissed asked them why they hadnt called us northern monkeys yet and proceeded to make monkey noises. i should be locked up. banned from matches now. stupid vodka.

thats where ive been going wrong then lads. in striving to be the perfect wife i totally overlooked the idea of watching that shite program to get ideas. tut tut missus c give up with the stockings thing, jason keep laddering em, he should cut his blinkin toe nails before he borrows em again.

yeah, n if you ever say keep bucking bridgette baby mid bonk-ever-ever-again, i will cut your other testicle off, and this time i wont give you anything to bite down on at the time. ;DE missus c evil when crossed

aawww poor dutch, come and live with me. i will burn your dodgy stuff. and educate your family in 'present purchasing'

exploding

was considering it, then st said he had an anal starter kit( without lube) in the xmas swop shop, so im bidding for that instead. p.s- rampant rabbit super deulxe platinum special addition new and improved 6 speed do dah thingy is still untested. im saving myself for that 'special moment'

Funny enough the first girl I sngooed was a Nic. A right dirty bugger, very rude, common as muck and a bit of a tomboy. but underneath that bad exterior, she was a domestic goddess in waiting..................................

we have his n hers of everything in this house to prevent scrapping, need another lap top too!!

never tried that, or learned how to administer it. not interested in that at all!!!! i do nice things like, massage, reflexology,aromatherapy,indian head massage, reiki healing, hopi er canding and waxing-----ooouuucccchhhhhhh

mr c driving to ipshit at 7am and wont be playing out tonight. mrs c sleeping all the way there hoping eyebrows wont get shaved.

yep-self mutilation by arson involving ears=calm inner sanctum did holistic therapies. most people feel very calm and relaxed after treatment.personally i think they're just gratefull for surving the inferno.

I'm going to set Mrs Respectable on them oooooohhhhhh there'll be trouble at mill.

dutch, take em to the charity shop. possibility they may buy them back for you, but if you move house, or have radical plastic surgery, they will never track you down. whatever were you thinking of with leopard pants??? [-(

so you cant really see em anyway??

excuse me mr satan, i know how to use those things. very beneficial for removing toxins etc, and balancing your inner being, blah blah,blah, basically they create a vacum which removes shite from your ear. posh ear syringing!!!! ill do them for you!!

have you got some now??? funny old world innit, when i was younger i wanted pubes, now i cant wait to get rid of the things.

to electrocution???? thats what i voted for last time, and im sticking to my guns, zapping it is then!!

so we are continuing with the friday favourites theme then???

do you play the "put your keys in the bowl" game too?? nope, deffo not, it would be unkind to palm jay off on anyone else.

Sure do. Fancy another brownie tonight. mmm i love chocolate brownies

so the vernons coupons bloke has been dumped then??

snog??, grown up 'open mouthed like on the telly snog' the first boy i kissed was at a school disco when i was 13. he is totally gay now. just wonderin... did i make him that way???? incidentally, he was called neil, is that just a gay name??? happy and smiley feel free to discuss!!!

is that possibly due to the fact that you buy all their tickets for em??? nowty, nowty boy. p.s- why did you think mrs respectable was me??

being mother of small monster we must posess all the board games in the wold.( ok, maybe slight exageration). played twister a few days ago.its just not the same unles its an adults only party and you have to forfeit your clothes too................................................. buckaroo is way too fiddly. kerplunk has to win. im stil addicted to guess who and mouse trap though....

take it your old phone never dried out then brixton??? must've been the super acid morning after beer wee that corroded it.