I bought some naga chilis the other day, as you rattle on about them and finally I decided to see what all the fuss was about.

 

Well, I can only describe the experience as being similar to having an oil well discovered in your throat, than Saddam Hussein setting fire to it whilst a billlion tonnes of broken glass are blasted up my arse and through my entire digestive system.

 

I only used a little one in a curry. It was biblically hot. I swear my eyebrows went so high I looked like Penfold.

 

Edit: You b???tard.

 

Double edit due to new swearing blackout: You cuntnose

Edited March 26, 200917 yr by Spider

horticulture, bestiality AND necrophillia all in one sentence - Job done, Satan, well done, I salute you!

 

in the words of Fabian, "I do my best"

horticulture, bestiality AND necrophillia

but that's got to be the basis for a new reality TV show

Edited May 20, 200917 yr by SatanGreavsie

Ow long does these buggers take to grow and what kind of kit we looking at to grow a few like? Im askin for a mate like/

Satan, were you told that your Naga has brought forth 14 babies, all except one have survived? The biggest are about a foot tall now.

Ow long does these buggers take to grow and what kind of kit we looking at to grow a few like? Im askin for a mate like/

 

 

Seeds or a plant? I cheated being a first timer like and bought a tiny plant for just over a quid, almost a cutting really and put it on my kitchen window sill. If I can do it, even you can!

4 weeks later and it's preggers!

Seeds or a plant? I cheated being a first timer like and bought a tiny plant for just over a quid, almost a cutting really and put it on my kitchen window sill. If I can do it, even you can!

4 weeks later and it's preggers!

 

 

Would a plant be easier to start with? And is it the same with all these herb plants you get down the supermacardo?

Satan, were you told that your Naga has brought forth 14 babies, all except one have survived? The biggest are about a foot tall now.

 

Dear me - I'm a granddad

Would a plant be easier to start with? And is it the same with all these herb plants you get down the supermacardo?

 

Well to get fruit this year you'd have to start with plants probably; but anyone wanting Dorst Naga seeds I can send them.

Then a plant is where I will start, SJM Chilli Apprentice

Then a plant is where I will start, SJM Chilli Apprentice

actually your best bet is to go down the supermarket and get some Bird Eye chillies; get the seeds out of them and get them planted now - they grow so fast you'd be fettled by the end of the summer. Hot little sods, but no subtlelty to them, unlike the Nagas. The heat does not disperse into the dish, so you end up chewing very hot chillies. The Nagas are more subtle - the heat gets dispersed so it just tastes flavoursome - you still spend half the next day on the shitter mind you

- you still spend half the next day on the shitter mind you

Oh well that's OK then.

As the long as you get the desired end result after all that cultivation and nurturing, that is all that matters.

Satan, the one I'm growing is an Apache type. They'll not be too hot will they? I can't be mauling with stuff that'll make me bum hurt, if you know what I mean!

Satan, the one I'm growing is an Apache type. They'll not be too hot will they? I can't be mauling with stuff that'll make me bum hurt, if you know what I mean!

if you look 'em up it seems not - mind you, if they are you can always sioux

if you look 'em up it seems not - mind you, if they are you can always sioux

 

Look em up? I'm not using the internet for this , I wish to hear the words of wisdom from WWays very own chilli whisperer!

Look em up? I'm not using the internet for this , I wish to hear the words of wisdom from WWays very own chilli whisperer!

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale

Look em up? I'm not using the internet for this , I wish to hear the words of wisdom from WWays very own chilli whisperer!

 

I grew an apache last year, I got lots of fruit and they weren't too hot, they had a nice flavout. They dried well too so I've still got some.

 

I did need to pollinate them myself with a v small paintbrush (you just go round all the flowers and touch them with the brush) but that could have been because of where I was keeping the plant.

Well to get fruit this year you'd have to start with plants probably; but anyone wanting Dorst Naga seeds I can send them.

 

That'll fuckin teach me to read all the thread. Just flamin ordered some naga seeds!

 

are they hotter than Daves insanity sauce?

 

dipped one of the wifes sausages in it once whilst she wernt looking, she was not a happy bunny

That'll fuckin teach me to read all the thread. Just flamin ordered some naga seeds!

 

are they hotter than Daves insanity sauce?

 

dipped one of the wifes sausages in it once whilst she wernt looking, she was not a happy bunny

aye Insanity sauce is just a few hundred thousand SU; Dorsets wade in at >million

aye Insanity sauce is just a few hundred thousand SU; Dorsets wade in at >million

 

so a sprinkle of coarsely chopped dorset in the bbq salad is a no no

so a sprinkle of coarsely chopped dorset in the bbq salad is a no no

I dont know, it would have its moments!

Actually thats the worst thing you could do - raw, they are hell on earth. Cooked, the heat dissipates a bit.

I dont know, it would have its moments!

Actually thats the worst thing you could do - raw, they are hell on earth. Cooked, the heat dissipates a bit.

 

 

Satan, you are up there with Widders in the insane stakes, why the fook would you not only eat, but actively grow veg that makes you ill!?

The pain/pleasure thing is obviously blurred beyond all normal senses!

aye Insanity sauce is just a few hundred thousand SU; Dorsets wade in at >million

 

Think this has been posted before, but it highlights how barking Satan really is

 

Scoville scale Scoville rating Type of pepper

15,000,000?16,000,000 Pure capsaicin[3]

8,600,000?9,100,000 Various capsaicinoids (e.g. homocapsaicin, homodihydrocapsaicin, nordihydrocapsaicin)

500,000?5,300,000 Law Enforcement Grade pepper spray,[4] FN 303 irritant ammunition

855,000?1,050,000 Naga Jolokia[5][6]

350,000?580,000 Red Savina Habanero[7][8]

100,000?350,000 Habanero chili,[9] Scotch Bonnet Pepper,[9] Datil pepper, Rocoto, Jamaican Hot Pepper, African Birdseye, Madame Jeanette

50,000?100,000 Thai Pepper,[10] Malagueta Pepper,[10] Chiltepin Pepper, Pequin Pepper[10]

30,000?50,000 Cayenne Pepper, Aj? pepper,[9] Tabasco pepper, some Chipotle peppers

10,000?23,000 Serrano Pepper, some Chipotle peppers

2,500?8,000 Jalape?o Pepper, Guajillo pepper, New Mexican varieties of Anaheim pepper,[11] Paprika (hungarian wax pepper)

500?2,500 Anaheim pepper, Poblano Pepper, Rocotillo Pepper

100?500 Pimento, Pepperoncini, Bell pepper

0 No heat

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/8119591.stm

Bad news folks! One of my little baby chilli's has committed suicide and fallen off my plant mid gestation. I'm gutted!

Dear Deidr^H^H^H^H Satan,

I now have approximately 10 dorset naga plants, which seem to be reaching my ceiling. How high can I expect them to grow?

 

Also whilst I have lots of flowers, I have, as yet, no fruit.

 

Do you have any advice, please?

 

-Worried of South London.