What can I say.I was severly Wankered thanks to Little Whitt and Big E

 

Just got back after a morning session with Big E, several beers in the bar then a sambuca session with a couple of queers at Newton le Wollows train station pub

 

I'm seriously twated after a leathering night

 

OK

 

Here's what I remember

 

Met the lads at the Park Inn

 

Little Whitt

NB

Big E

Mr H

James

7 in total

 

Then Quinny, John, Brooksy, Smiffs, Brixtom, Jay C, Sue, Athey1958 policeman, minder, steward, city fans and various other queers

 

Got very pissed, Mr H fell over in a pub beginning with W, so Traf took hin home

 

I went to the bog and came back and evertbody else had gone home

 

Got back to the hotel after bribing some idiot in charge of the taxi rank with a fiver

 

NB woke us up about 10ish for some reason

 

Mr H and Traf turned up at 11

 

Got up and showered, had about 5 pints before 12

 

Threatened some manc by 12 who had bought us shorts

 

Apologised to Manc and bought him and his mate a short

 

Decided I was wankered and going to Frodsham wasn't a good idea

 

Made it home

 

Going to bed, still wankered

I went to the bog and came back and evertbody else had gone home

 

It's a great one is that. Sssh! He's gone for a piss, let's all fuck off!

Normally I'd agree

 

But I remeber waking up on the bog

 

I may have been there for several hours

 

PS

 

Smiffs picked us up this morning and took us to newton

 

Park Inn has great tables

 

Chan for breakfast is not a good idea

I walks in Widnes & Big E's room (which was pretty tidy) this morning wearing different clothes to last night.

Widnes wakes up & says:"Did you stay here last night?"

I says: "No, Widders, I went home & 12.30 & am just back to pick up my coat".

Worrying.

Anyhow, thank you for my breakfast (a slice of last night's pizza) & giving my coat a bed for the night.

Edited December 13, 200916 yr by no balls

I got back last night and fatty had ordered a massive pizza and a litre of cola

 

So I ate a massive piece and did two lines for me and fatty

 

Woke up this morning and there was 4 lines

 

Now I want to know who the other 3 where who sneeked into our room without me noticing

 

Now I'm used to there being loads of people in our room but on this occasion I dont remember anybody

 

If you did me, own up

CureforSanity

 

Also turned out

 

He;s more mentle them me

 

Perhaps not

 

Ricky, you are a mentalist

 

I'm normal

CureforSanity

 

 

He's a really nice bloke. A haircut wouldn't kill him, but a nice bloke all the same!

Just got in. 10 pints and i was done for today. sat in me local on me own is a low point.

 

Widnes is a top peace keeping force.......asking the manc lad if he wanted twatting was a nice touch.

 

good day was had by all

Walking to Waterside, young lass arguing with older lass. You filthy fucking slag. Etc.

 

Young lass comes towards us and asks if we'll walk her to the pub as she's alone. She then starts to spout off about the other woman who turns out to be her mother. 'Filthy bitch, I hate the slag, she'd be OK if she could keep her fucking knickers on'.

 

I asks her if she keeps her knickers on and she replies 'I'm not wearing any'.

 

You cannot buy class.

 

 

I'm also taking copyright of a new chat up line.

 

'You look like the kind of classy woman who waxes her minge'

 

Tis a winner lads.

 

Good News

 

I've awoken and found a case of Strongbow in the shed

 

So I'm here all night

 

After today I shall be staying alcolol free until 23 December so expect pages full of shite children

 

And as for the Park Inn, what a beltin hotel for ?40, Big E had a shower just because it looked nice, I had one this morning and he wasn't wrong

 

As you where

 

PS Missus C not turning out due to sniffles, you puff

Good News

 

I've awoken and found a case of Strongbow in the shed

 

So I'm here all night

 

After today I shall be staying alcolol free until 23 December so expect pages full of shite children

 

And as for the Park Inn, what a beltin hotel for ?40, Big E had a shower just because it looked nice, I had one this morning and he wasn't wrong

 

As you where

 

PS Missus C not turning out due to sniffles, you puff

 

Did you slip in his custard?

A woman was staring at me for ages, but I knew she meant no harm. Eventually she spoke to me. "Ooh, I love your coat, where's it from?". I says "Milan", she says, "is that in the Trafford Centre?".

A woman was staring at me for ages, but I knew she meant no harm. Eventually she spoke to me. "Ooh, I love your coat, where's it from?". I says "Milan", she says, "is that in the Trafford Centre?".

 

There's one in the Arndale Centre. Though it's referred to as Primark in these parts.

There's one in the Arndale Centre. Though it's referred to as Primark in these parts.

 

 

I can assure you, & I would hope the others who turned out will vouch for this, it was not cheap nasty tat.

To steal a phrase, "anyone in the clothing trade will know why I choose not shop at Primark".

I could have sworn you said it was bought from the Bazaar in Istanbul

 

Should be in a zoo if you ask me

 

Or am I talking about the wrong coat

I could have sworn you said it was bought from the Bazaar in Istanbul

 

Should be in a zoo if you ask me

 

Or am I talking about the wrong coat

 

 

No, you're on the right coat. You were all wanting a stroke of it, so don't come it now!

Now I was severly shittered last night

 

But are you confusing your coat with your minge?

If you'd have tried stroking that you'd now be posting from a side ward, in a Stephen Hawking stylee!

No, you're on the right coat. You were all wanting a stroke of it, so don't come it now!

 

Were you wearing a mirkin then?

Were you wearing a mirkin then?

 

 

What kind of a sick bunny would actually wear one of those?

What kind of a sick bunny would actually wear one of those?

 

Did you glue it on or use your own sticky lady juices?

A woman was staring at me for ages, but I knew she meant no harm. Eventually she spoke to me. "Ooh, I love your coat, where's it from?". I says "Milan", she says, "is that in the Trafford Centre?".

 

talibsismo in milan then.

Right it's awards time

 

Most Wankered Poster - Traf by a mile

Worst Outfit - Smiffs tank top

Best Quote - Rally - Widnes, sort my hotels, flighs and tickets out for SA and I'll give you ten grand

Best looking - Me

Ugliest - Some contenders there

Most Pissed - Me although Mr H came a close second

Best Pub - Fuck knows, there was no women in any of the pubs we went in

Best Taxi - I'm getting in the next one cunteyes, here's a fiver seemed to work

Best Drink - The shots this morning in the newton le willows pub

Best Pizza - Big E's wasnt at all bad although he only ate two slices

Smallist Poster - Little Whitt is smaller than NB

Biggest Poster - Fuck knows, everybody I met was over 6 feet

 

Last one, Best Room Mate - Big E, I'm liking the nancy boy the more I meet him

 

Flights for Toulouse will be booked tomorrow, Goodbye Toulouse

Best Dancer - Quinny. I'm in the mood for dancing, romancing, oooooooooooooh I'm giving it all toneet!

Best Quote - Rally - Widnes you fuckin fucking fucker, fucking sort fucking my fucking hofuckintels, fucking fucking flighs and fucking tickets out fucking for fucking SA and fucking I'll fucking give you fucking ten fucking grand, you cunt

 

Was I think you'll find what he said if I know Uncle Rally

 

Meanwhile I had a great time on Saturday at a wedding in fucking Chesterfield, oh yes.

I bet you did