This is a good one that just occurred to me, prevent occasional dewdrops on your crotch after having a piss, by leaving your c*ck hanging out of your flies for five minutes afterwards.

Avoid hangovers by not sleeping when pissed

Avoid "skid marks" by rubbing your arse along the floor like a dog does .....oh yeah helps if you dont have a light carpet

Avoid hangovers by not sleeping when pissed

 

have you never had a session that went on so long you got the hangover whilst still awake?

 

I have

 

I also just perused twop twips and found this one:

 

COSMETIC COMPANIES. Instead of testing make-up on animals, use Photoshop to get an idea of what they'd look like.

If you have Children younger than 2 years old...

 

Save money this xmas by hiding a few of their current toys now,wrap them up at a later date and present the said toys as new toys on Chirstmas day.

 

They will have forgotten about these toys by then and will be delighted on Xmas day.

 

Even if they do recognise them,they cant speak properly yet so who gives a fuck?

 

 

have you never had a session that went on so long you got the hangover whilst still awake?

 

I have

 

I also just perused twop twips and found this one:

 

COSMETIC COMPANIES. Instead of testing make-up on animals, use Photoshop to get an idea of what they'd look like.

 

Neh, I can't stay awake

If you have Children younger than 2 years old...

 

Save money this xmas by hiding a few of their current toys now,wrap them up at a later date and present the said toys as new toys on Chirstmas day.

 

They will have forgotten about these toys by then and will be delighted on Xmas day.

 

Even if they do recognise them,they cant speak properly yet so who gives a fuck?

 

Ill remember that one!

Save spending money on any presents by claiming to be non-practising Jewish. This can be achieved by eating bagels topped with cream cheese and smoked salmon, laughing during 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' and occasionally exclaiming "Oy veh...". Emphasize that the only part of your Jewishness that needs expression is ignoring holidays of other faiths. It's very important the children don't learn about Jewish holidays, or see your cock if your a bloke (and uncircumcised).

Edited November 13, 201213 yr by Youri McAnespie

Avoid hangovers by not sleeping when pissed

Doesn't work trust me

Avoid red wine staining your carpets by taking all your red wine outside and drinking it now.

Dont go on holiday with this company.

 

 

http://travel.aol.co.uk/2012/11/13/video-plane-crash-caught-on-camera-in-brazil/?icid=maing-grid7|uk|dl10|sec1_lnk1%26pLid%3D136781

If you have Children younger than 2 years old...

 

Save money this xmas by hiding a few of their current toys now,wrap them up at a later date and present the said toys as new toys on Chirstmas day.

 

They will have forgotten about these toys by then and will be delighted on Xmas day.

 

Even if they do recognise them,they cant speak properly yet so who gives a fuck?

 

Been there, done that. It was a rocking dragon toy. He loved it so much he got it twice.