May 24, 201313 yr Paddys lying up in bed watching Babestation. He phones the number at the bottom of the screen and the Babe says "Hello sexy and what can I do for you tonight?". Paddy replies "Do you see that sofa you're lying on""Yes" she replies. Paddy says "You wouldn't jump over the back of it and hide" "Sure sexy. But why". She says. Paddy replies "Well it's just the wife's coming up the stairs and I can't find the remote.
May 24, 201313 yr I had a phone call from the school today. They said, "Your son has just spray painted 'Manchester United fans Are Cunts' in giant letters across the playground." "You must be joking?" I said, "I don't believe for a second that he's actually done it." "Well, he did." she replied, "I watched him." "Fair play then," I said, "I owe him a tenner."
May 24, 201313 yr What's black and has a cracking pair of tits?? Angelina Jolies' bin bag. Bastard! Mouthful of tea somehow just came back down my nose.
May 24, 201313 yr What's black and has a cracking pair of tits?? Angelina Jolies' bin bag. That's being forwarded to all my friends as we speak!
May 24, 201313 yr I saw a Little Whitt carrying a tv back to his car earlier, "Jesus" I said "Can you manage that plasma flat screen ok on yer own mate?" "Ha ha funny fucker" he said "it's a fucking Kindle!"...
May 24, 201313 yr I saw a Little Whitt carrying a tv back to his car earlier, "Jesus" I said "Can you manage that plasma flat screen ok on yer own mate?" "Ha ha funny fucker" he said "it's a fucking Kindle!"... CUNT :thumbsup:
May 25, 201313 yr Just told Angelina joke. Got a look of disgust then they felll about laughing my missus her mates round last night. my only input to the night was to walk downstairs and say that joke. not one of them laughed. I felt a right cunt, just went back upstairs and stayed there!
May 25, 201313 yr my missus her mates round last night. my only input to the night was to walk downstairs and say that joke. not one of them laughed. I felt a right cunt, just went back upstairs and stayed there! You could at least have put a pair of boxers on first... and not left your wanking sock on the coffee table
May 25, 201313 yr You could at least have put a pair of boxers on first... and not left your wanking sock on the coffee table :-)
May 28, 201313 yr My new girlfriend lets me lick anything off her and i love it. Butter, jam, cheese, you name it she lets me lick it off her. She's a fuckin cracker. Bought myself a limo yesterday, But it cost me so much I can't afford a driver. So I've spent all my money and I've got nothing to chauffeur it. Edited May 28, 201313 yr by Breightmet Boy
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