the thread on tenerife mentions bottom bonking in the sand, bet the sand was everywhere,

on itk a while ago a guy mention he bum bonked a lass and got a piece of sweetcorn stuck in his japs eye.

 

anyone ever had anything stuck down theirs?

if so, how did it get there?

and most of all, how did you get it out.

 

( sadistic people who ram heated knitting needles/kebab skewers into them for 'fun' need not reply)

sadistic people who ram heated knitting needles/kebab skewers into them for 'fun' need not reply

 

Righto

( sadistic people who ram heated knitting needles/kebab skewers into them for 'fun' need not reply)

 

 

you 2 faced bugger

 

Anyway ask trotter off here about when on a recent England trip.

 

He walked past a couple of lads and one had a straw down his bell end and people were blowing down it thus expanding his knob.

Well my own personal story is very interesting, I was

 

 

 

oh sorry I've just spotted the last bit of your post in brackets. Somebody else can tell their story then.

who had a bigger version on a cotten bud suck down his japs eye to clear something

who had a bigger version on a cotten bud suck down his japs eye to clear something

 

 

Is that like the ones they used to use on gladiators??

As Missus C will tell you, my old chap is minter than an Extra Strong Mint :-$

:::::::::::::: dont think it was that big

Missus C you sound like a reet mucky bitch.

 

You'll do for me cock!

As well as that urban myth about finding sweetcorn down your nob there's the other one about bumming a bird and your nob keeps slipping out, then when you turn the lights back on after there's all shitty hand prints everywhere.

 

Answers a few questions vis a vis the IRA dirty protests anyway.

another gross one about things in knobs, heard this years ago.

apparantly a bloke in the nick went to prison doc re sore todger, after examination doc pulls out beetle/larvae.

geezer had put beetle in foreskin for some 'sensation' forgotton and the beetle moved in permanatly.

how true that is ive no idea.

probably bollocks

but it is a strange world

I don't do bottom bonking [-X

 

 

It kills my arse 8-[

 

 

Fenny Mercury

heard a story of some bird who loved food sex with boyfriend.

all dressed up ready for a saturday night out - they got an instant urge to have a bit in the kitchen. he reached for the fridge and got a container of tuna out. shoved it up her mufty and licked her out. she returned the favour by covering his knob and doing likewise.

weeks later she had got this really bad itching sensation and problems down below. it got worse and worse - canesten didn't cure it, neither did cranberry juice.

finally she went to the docs - and he discovered a whole host of maggots growing up her snatch - started from the rotten tuna inside her.

thought bottom bonkin was for puffs.

 

toodle pip.

heard a story of some bird who loved food sex with boyfriend.

all dressed up ready for a saturday night out - they got an instant urge to have a bit in the kitchen. he reached for the fridge and got a container of tuna out. shoved it up her mufty and licked her out. she returned the favour by covering his knob and doing likewise.

weeks later she had got this really bad itching sensation and problems down below. it got worse and worse - canesten didn't cure it, neither did cranberry juice.

finally she went to the docs - and he discovered a whole host of maggots growing up her snatch - started from the rotten tuna inside her.

 

tell me thats not true smiley its put me off me dinner.

its not true. okay. you can eat your tea in peace now.

 

(but it really was, honest)

heard a story of some bird who loved food sex with boyfriend.

all dressed up ready for a saturday night out - they got an instant urge to have a bit in the kitchen. he reached for the fridge and got a container of tuna out. shoved it up her mufty and licked her out. she returned the favour by covering his knob and doing likewise.

weeks later she had got this really bad itching sensation and problems down below. it got worse and worse - canesten didn't cure it, neither did cranberry juice.

finally she went to the docs - and he discovered a whole host of maggots growing up her snatch - started from the rotten tuna inside her.

 

Are they still there, or have they gone West ? :D/

another gross one about things in knobs, heard this years ago.

apparantly a bloke in the nick went to prison doc re sore todger, after examination doc pulls out beetle/larvae.

geezer had put beetle in foreskin for some 'sensation' forgotton and the beetle moved in permanatly.

how true that is ive no idea.

probably bollocks

but it is a strange world

 

I always knew that Ringo Starr was a bit dodgy but to live up a japs eye...well that takes the biscuit.

 

First name John