Widnes Two Hats

Manager of the Moathouse to Ani 'Will you be staying another night Mr Campbell' yes then trying to pay with his season ticket and me and Kevin Nolan shaking our heads

I was still in the Moathouse when you were all there, slept in the bog for about 3 hours when a prostitue got murdered, left at 8.am when we went watching Irelend and got thrown out for buying Ani a pint as he'd been banned for kidnapping a road cleaner, put my suit jacket on and went home about 3pm back to Widnes after a couple in thee Cattle Market then realised it wasn't mine, was Ani's so we swapped back later. Was suppossed to be going out with my Mrs to watch a play in Liverpool but slept for 2 days

I did every match home and away last time we were in division 4, I shall be doing the same in division 3 you bald cunt

Miami, 'would you like executive seats or super executive seats' What the difference, 'Well executive seats get 2G or coke and a table, super executive gets 4G plus a table' before the time 4G meant something different

Southampton organised by Miami, think I'd had every drug apart from Heroin by about 10am, Jimmy one of our lot set a flag on fire that was about 100 years old, women in pub 'You're by far the worst supporters we've ever seen PB looking the same as ' Violet Beauregarde' from Willy Wonka on the way down

Call from an unidentified number 'Hello' 'Hello this is Oleg, we've arranged taxis to an Irish bar, don't pay the taxis as the city or Belgrade has paid for them' Cheers. Third phone call from an unidentified number 'This is Oleg again, you are all going home, you've been an absolute disgrace in the Irish bar' OK she's a lunatic

Serbia, to copper 'We are going for a walk upto Republica Square' Copper, 'You must speak to my boss' then handing me a walkie talkie 'Hello, who is this' ' It's Widnes, who the shitting hell are you' 'My name is Oleg, I'm the chief of police here in Belgrage, you must ring me everytime you move so I can keep you safe' OK, then Jay C and Brixton discovering Jaeger bombs in the Sports bar at Republica Square

Mr Andrson who was a teacher said Widnes lets have a line, went into a bog with him and he put a full bag of chan on the cubile 'What do I do next' Widnes, 'you havent done this before have you' next thing he's being arrested for selling class A's to school children

Back to Lisbon, Traf paying a drug dealer with fake €50 notes then having to hide in the hotel as they looked for him, going back to the hotel telling him he was safe and it was ok to leave the hotel

Saw Patrick Bateman on Sunday, Fengsui got married last week so congratulations, PB also shagged the maid of honour who'd flown in from the USA so congratuations to him too

Lisbon, telling a one time poster that I'd fingered her mum then having to apologise as her sister threatened to throw my bag into the water which had about 10g of coke in it, taking young Ryan who was about 20 back to our hotel as he'd spent about £100 on MDMA or was that Munich, cant remember but he spent many days in mine and Mr H's room without being bummed

Guimareas, Deciding we were going with Happy Wanderer, 12 of us, then getting a PM off Big Toe 'Can I come with with your lot as i've no friends' nothing like that but he came, turned out to be a nice lad, sold 10 beach balls to Jules Darby when he had hair, Met the Totty lads in Lisbon but thats another story. Turismo in Braga 'Have you got any beer left' Owner 'We've got stout with lime' just give me the fucking bottles

If you've been to Greece you'd know them sexy little mixes love Rockhouse Pilfer

If you don't like Rackhouse Pilfer you're a queer

My current bird wont allow me to go and see my Irish bird, miserable cow, anyhow I'm wankered

Saw these moonmen in Sligo on my first trip Probably seen them about 20 times since They are supurrb and nothing like em live

Was with Smiffs in Portugal, Cheese got to much for him so he left, as did No Balls. Whitt is with her majesty in one of her hotels for his deviancy, he'll be back for Christmas

Back to Serbia, my favourite Euro outing, ordering a minibus from a bloke called 'Dragan' and him emailing me back 'Dont worry, the minibus is amour plated' Sloane Street Massive was the lad glassed. Dragan telling me he had a bar called United, we all went on the day after the match and give him loads of shit because of the name of his bar so he shut it and said 'I'm going out with my English friends' then telling me his sorded past of being a sniper during the conflict with the Balkan wars and crying, unfortunately he'd brought his daughter our with us and most were more interested in shagging her than his war tales

My memories of Wanderersway are 2002 Wanderersways to Prague, in the Marriott at about 4am the Leigh lads ordering some Prostitues from the corcierge.. 'How much is it to shit on your tits whilst my mates piss it off' first time I met Smiffs and Maggie Tate First Wanderersways outing when when Smiley turned up dressed as Showaddywaddy, Seasoned Traveller turning up in a 'Captains' armband then having to pass it over about midnight as he was thoroughly wankered 2007 - Smiley recommending a hotel in Belgrade for the Red Star match, we'd already booked a great hotel but decided to cancel it on Smiley's recommendation, got there and it was a fucking shithole, one of the rooms had no bog just a hole in the floor, got stuck in the lift with Mr H on the ride upto our room and had to phone reception to get the engineers in. Our room was the party room so I had about 4 hours sleep in about 5 days as we had loads of chan, flew back with the national airline JAT airways who refused to accept serbain money as it was 'toytown money' so sent it all to one of the maccedian lads. we were locked into the hotel as the police refused to allow us to leave 'for our own safety' Barman, 'Right lads I'm leaving now, 'Where are you going' I'm off for a beer in the hills. Me, Mr H, Undies and Axe from Westhoughton hiding in the back of his car as we passed the police security, In the hills he ordered some sort of cabbage dish that was quite tasty, about an hour into our sessions, police come into the bar. Our barman 'You're going to have to speak to the police Widnes, I'm packing, opens his jacket to show a gun in his inside pocket' Shouts to the police. 'Take Axe, he's a virgin' needless to say they made us go back to our hotel, Statues on the way back to out hotel after one of the Morris Green lads was glassed by a Bolton girl for pushing in in the Irish bar near Republica Square, Oh I have loads to post yet

I'd definitely deport Ilhan Omar, she can go and play her identity politics in Somalia. I'm sure the Don must have special powers

Chernobyl is brilliant, the research that went into it is spot on. If you asked me to name a series that was spot on in the last 10 years I'd go for Chernobyl. Watch it

Chernobyl is the best thing I've watched for ages, the miners were lunatics. just on 12 monkey's now, series 1 episode 7 has lost me. Is it worth watching the 4 series?

The appeal court judge ruled that the original charge was nonsense, we'll see what the appeal court judge says on his latest 3 charges when it goes to court

I'm saying it wasn't in the public interest to pay several millions to try him again, he'd been charged, spent 10 weeks in prision, got the original charge overturned so he was tried for 3 more new charges that didn't originally exist. It's nonsense what he was retired for so what I'm saying is how was that in the public interest

So raise his profile again, not sure that works. I also believe that the charges were nonsense and should have been left at his first imprisionment of 10 weeks hence the reason I'm putting them on here to be discussed, I'll put charge 3 on shortly