Traf

Not sure that Norwich will go down twice.

FFS! A bit of traffic on Deane Road, eh? It could be worse. I live next to the North West's biggest car park. The traffic round here is shite every day all day. M60 roadworks and the Trafford Centre full of Christmas shoppers.

What? Are you trying to say Farnworth isn't posh? [-X

If they want people to go, it should be free! If nobody goes, they've still got the cost of staging the game. But if its free and a thousand turn up, they'll make money on the refreshments and merchandise.

Christ

In somewhat harsh and tragic circumstances in Brazil, Sao Caetano have been docked 24 points after defender Serginho collapsed and died during the game with Sao Paulo in October. After a lengthy hearing Brazil's four-man Sports Disciplinary Tribunal also banned the club doctor Paulo Forte for 1,440 days and club president Nairo Ferreira for 720 days. Serginho, full name Paulo Sergio de Oliveira Lima, had been at the club since 1999 and collapsed after suffering a cardio-respiratory arrest in the 59th minute of the Brazilian championship match at the Morumbi stadium. He was pronounced dead after being taken to hospital. The game was suspended at 0-0 and the remaining 31 minutes were played a week later, when Sao Paulo won 4-2. The club will also face a police investigation, as officials try to establish whether the club knew that the 30-year-old was at risk of collapse. The club have denied these allegations although admitted that routine tests at the start of 2004 showed that the player suffered an irregular heartbeat, but further tests proved that there was no reason why he couldn't carry on playing. Although the point penalty doesn't mean the club will be relegated, they have dropped in the Brazilian Championship from 4th to 14th place and it's also set to cost them a place in next year's South American Libertadores Cup. Sao Caetano's lawyer Joao Zanforlin insists the club will appeal. I don't think any Brazilian club will be in a rush to take Fadiga off our hands, then.

Super Kevin Davies for me.

bent

ONE day I phoned my son in Australia to have a chat. However, I must have dialled the wrong number, as it was answered by a young lady. I apologised, and we had a little chat. The following day, I phoned the same wrong number and got the young lady again. How we laughed at my silly mistake. That was twenty years ago. Although we have never met, we have become firm friends and I call her every single day. She always loves to hear my news. Edna Brakespear, Burnley I LIVE in Australia and twenty years ago some stupid old cow in Britain got me out of bed at three in the morning after dialling a wrong number. She did it again the next day. In fact, she's phoned me at the same time every day since, and I have to stand there for half an hour while she prattles on about her son. I just haven't got the heart to tell her to fcuk off. If only she'd hurry up and die I might get a good night's sleep. Sharleen Ramsey, Alice Springs

According to Nietzsche, 'That which does not kill me makes me stronger'. I'm sure my grandad would not agree. He suffered a series of massive strokes in the early '90s which have left him an incontinent vegetable for the past 12 years. A Thorne, Sandbach

Granted!

I have to disagree. We are not shit, but we are also not a top 8 side. This is the best Bolton side since I was born in 1969. Back in the 80's we really were shit.

We were so shit back then, if it took them 7 seconds to score, we must have had the kick-off!

How is rain on your wedding day ironic??? I'm not really sure to be honest!

I've made my suggestion, thanks for pointing me in the right direction.

alanis morrisette is a Goddess. i would convert to lesbianism for her. And I'd come and watch!

Jim Morrison

curtains

roast

Piss funny! Who said the Americans don't do irony? It's just like rain on your wedding day!

Diouf

Mr H is indeed the king of the art of vomiting. He can vomit whilst walking and not splash himself or spill his pint. Now, that's class!

marvin

The Gers or The Celts, eh? Who gives a fcuk? Shite 2nd rate league, on a par with the Danish league IMO.

You tell 'em one thing Sam and I'll tell 'em something totally different. *Nothing new there then!