I used to work in a large shed in my bosses garden, no I'm not a gnome, and the toilet facilities were based in his house, the toilet I had to use was downstairs and it had a shower in it, in a morning his family used the shower slot so I had to time it for the best time to ave a shit, this one morning after a heavy weekend on the sauce I was in the shed and got that cold stomach thing you only get when you've got the shits, I doubled over knowing I was in trouble, the only thing to hand was the tesco carrier bag with my lunch in so whipped the kecks down held the bag open and it gushed out of me, filled the bag ruined my lunch and stank the shed out, i was however so relieved after I could've lit a hamlet