I seem to be in a rather childish mood today, and have found a couple of customer requests mildly amusing, even though they have only asked for things/products that I am asked for on a daily basis.

 

Today so far, I have been asked for

 

a) Some black nobs

Some product with a "midget flange"

 

It got me to thinking, there must be plenty of things people hear at work, that mean something to the job you do, but mean something else to the Finbar Saunders of this world................

black box wipes,latex gloves ( powdered )teddy bears balls

 

all available at ours

I seem to be in a rather childish mood today

 

I've news for you, petal: You are every day.

And I've officially banned the word 'moist'* from the office as people keep saying it in a mucky way.

 

 

*it's a common comment at cake time of an afternoon btw.

"Do you do Whopper's ?"

 

Im sick of telling them.....we do Big Mac's!

I was asked what flange thickness i needed earlier today always makes me giggle.

 

that and gusset plates.

I had to explain to my 19 year old neice who works for us what a 'vibrating poker' was, without laughing.

 

'Its about a foot long, 2" thick......' I had to stop out of embarrasment.

 

She then asked if we needed batteries for it; no I replied, we use a petrol driven generator unit for it, such is its power.

 

She also was bemused when we first told her to order a dozen tubs of pipe grease.

someone in a meeting today said that the money being spent of the regeneration of bradford would make it a vibrant city that people would be desperate to live in.

 

there is a economic upsurge coming to the city, more jobs and opporunities, better schools.

 

tax breaks for small businesses and a future to be proud of.

 

 

it was quite an emotional tear inducing speech, someone asked him 'will you buying a house in bradford then ?'

 

 

he could have at least pretended......

Had a training session for abrasive wheels today and the amount of times the bloke giving the training wen't on about "loose flange", "rough flange" etc etc, I was so bored couldn't help but stifle laughter.

Customer on the phone "Hiya, iv just had somebody come up my rear and smash me back door in!"

One lad asked for a pay-rise at our place today.

Now that is funny.

Saw a letter a while ago from a disgruntled customer who bought a pack of bog roll and she wasnt happy

 

After pulling off the last sheet, some joker had written on "your f?cked now" on the core

I sometimes have the habit of dropping hammers or spanners down the lift shaft whilst my mate is in the pit then see how quick he can jump out

Once worked at a place where some red ginger emptied all the handwash in the bogs out of the bottle and then pissed in it.

 

I never did find out which tw*t did it....

someone in a meeting today said that the money being spent of the regeneration of bradford would make it a vibrant city that people would be desperate to live in.

 

there is a economic upsurge coming to the city, more jobs and opporunities, better schools.

 

tax breaks for small businesses and a future to be proud of.

it was quite an emotional tear inducing speech, someone asked him 'will you buying a house in bradford then ?'

he could have at least pretended......

I've always thought that people must be desperate to live in Bradford (or anywhere in Yorks)

Customer on the phone "Hiya, iv just had somebody come up my rear and smash me back door in!"

that sounds familiar, also approached from the rear and came inside...

i am always getting in trouble when i laugh when asked to do the following measure the gurth of stuff & check the holes in a buttstrap. also got kicked out of a meeting when my boss mentioned the massive erection at the rear of the factory and i fell about laughin