May 28, 200818 yr Tell him to wipe it on the curtains when he's finished with you like all real men do Saves you a job never done it myself. but know of others who have. any of you lot carried out this quite disgraceful act?
May 28, 200818 yr get smiffs doing the opinion page on the back of the CN then at least something bar the tenders will get read. What and have him give advice on how to wipe your cock on an RSJ?
May 28, 200818 yr never done it myself. but know of others who have. any of you lot carried out this quite disgraceful act? yes, after reading this site as an impressionable teenager
May 28, 200818 yr What and have him give advice on how to wipe your cock on an RSJ? 101 uses for a gusset plate by Mr Smiffs of Leyth
May 28, 200818 yr Lesson 3...... When your loved one has had a new haircut, or even just a trim......be observant.....give her that loving compliment that she has been waiting all day for. It will make her feel that little bit more special aout herself. You have all night to ask how much it f?cking well cost you, so hold your horses and let her dish the tea up first.
May 28, 200818 yr Lesson 3...... When your loved one has had a new haircut, or even just a trim......be observant.....give her that loving compliment that she has been waiting all day for. It will make her feel that little bit more special aout herself. You have all night to ask how much it f?cking well cost you, so hold your horses and let her dish the tea up first. be observant ? you mean remember that she has been going on about it for last 3 weeks ? as for cost.......say it is worth the money, but that as a bloke you are going to give it a miss and buy a season ticket instead.
May 28, 200818 yr Always check to see that there are curtains there and not venetian blinds before wiping. Otherwise you'll tatter it.
May 28, 200818 yr Used a bathroom towel then she dried her face after with it! It looked like clear snot on her cheek! I told her to sniff back up
May 28, 200818 yr Have you ever thought about writing a column in one of the rags? Smiffs - the new Miriam Stoppard
May 28, 200818 yr Lesson 4.......... After a hard day, or a particularly diffucult period, your loved one may decide to relax for a few hours in a hot bath, with candles, and a good book. Let her have this precious time, she deserves it. A few hours or self-pamperming will work wonders for her over the next few days. If she calls down for a glass of wine, consider bringing it to her and sitting with her for a while, discussing her woes, assuring her that she is still the most important thing in the world to you, and perhaps reminiscing about old times. It will bring joy to her heart, and sooth those everyday stresses. Under no circumstances use this opportunity as an invitation for you to storm into the bathroom naked, dip your genitalia into the sink and proclaim 'see wench, I knew you were gagging for it'.
May 28, 200818 yr Just a little tip i've learned over the years, always tell them they look nice even when they are fcuking mingin, it's worth it's weight in gold, you might even get your cock sucked as a reward On the duvet for me but i do it very discretely and never been sussed yet
May 28, 200818 yr Lesson 5....... Share her interests. If she asks for your company at the local supermarket, obligue. See it as an opportinity to suggest new culinary delights, try a few new recipes. Assist her in new ideas, she feels the weekly visit as a repetitive chore when she is buying the same foods week in week out. Give her comfort and confidence too; if she wants that bucket of Hagen Daas then get it, you love her for who she is. Do NOT use it as an opportunity to bump into old flames. Those luxurious treats will be out of the trolley and replaced with a months worth of Slimfast products before you can say 'hasn't she aged well, don't you think?'
May 28, 200818 yr Lesson 6..... In the morning, you may often awake with a strong animal like urge for bedroom athletics. Alas, it is unlikely that your dearly beloved is feeling the same. Do not feel rejected by her apparent lack of desire. She still loves you, but just wants a cuddle and might be feeling a touch unhygenic. So hold her, kiss her gently, tell her that you are looking forward to the weekend, suggest a visit to a country pub, or a walk in the park. You can always knock one off in the shower whilst thinking about your mates wife. Edited May 28, 200818 yr by Smiffs
May 28, 200818 yr going back to the subject, i (cant spell)regularily use the curtains, or i did in my old gaff, the new one has fancy blinds so thats out. its ok though because in addition i have always had a wank sock on stand by, other places to deposit the man fat include the underside of the matress, inside of the pillow case, or anything from the linen basket! sometimes, as a special treat if im wearing a scruffy bed t-shirt, i allow the seed to follow its natural course and shoot out onto my chest! then simply take of said T, turn it inside out and pop in the linen basket. sorted. Be careful there is no stray gunk on your chin though, could be embarrassing when your missus walks in, or you nip down the paper shop! Edited May 28, 200818 yr by Totty
May 28, 200818 yr I am a bit lost here!!!!!! Am i right in thinking some of you have wiped yer muck on yer curtains at home? Jesus,how odd. Edited May 28, 200818 yr by M G WHITES
May 28, 200818 yr Lesson 7.... If she suggests spicing up your love life with a bit of pornographic material, whilst trying to hide your obvious delight make sure you select something which she can relate to, something realistic that shows thoughtful careful lovemaking. Filthy Housewives 4: Anal gangbang, is not the answer.
May 28, 200818 yr Author Be careful there is no stray gunk on your chin though, could be embarrassing when you nip down the paper shop!
May 28, 200818 yr Filthy Housewives 4: Anal gangbang, is not the answer. So that's where I'm going wrong!
May 30, 200818 yr What a bunch of flithy animals that frequent this site. Absloutely disgusting. If you sit down in Totty's house you can't get up for his population paste sticking you down. I wouldn't accept any food or drink which he may offer me. Anyone pass comment on variation of curtains? Often heard of net curtains being used when this subject arises.
May 30, 200818 yr Filthy Housewives 4: Anal gangbang, is not the answer. What about midget porn with a couple of double amputees and an albino duck?
May 30, 200818 yr What about midget porn with a couple of double amputees and an albino duck? You also have a copy of Gettin Gnome Legless featuring Daffy Pale!!!??? Aussie porn classic.
May 30, 200818 yr What a bunch of flithy animals that frequent this site. Absloutely disgusting.If you sit down in Totty's house you can't get up for his population paste sticking you down. I wouldn't accept any food or drink which he may offer me. Anyone pass comment on variation of curtains? Often heard of net curtains being used when this subject arises. in case the glass stuck to your hand?
never done it myself. but know of others who have.
any of you lot carried out this quite disgraceful act?