Tonight, after an evening meal of minced beef cooked in tomato puree, french mustard, onion, and a dash of chilli powder with a jacket spud and salad garnish, washed down with a reasonable amount of vodka and diet pepsi, with a small bag of dry roasted peanuts and 3 satsumas for 9pm munchies.

 

I'd give it 7 out of 10.

 

Twas fairly potent but didnt last long. Certainly didnt have the potential to make anyone sick.

Interesting!

Didle

 

When Happy created WW he made two boards.

 

One for fat drunken men in their 30's and 40's with hairy backs, bollocks, and arseholes, and one for your lot.

 

May I point your way to ASDA Habanero Chilli Peanuts.

 

Optimum taste. Optimum Pungency.

Do they sting on re-entry to the atmosphere?

Do they sting on re-entry to the atmosphere?

 

Oh, yes.

Im only messing, happy posting!

Fresh spinach,pruscuitto ham and chesnut mushroom pasta, followed by 3 bottles of Wolf blass - and the dog is giving me some strange looks.

Im only messing, happy posting!

 

I feel much better now. Thanks.

 

Sarcasm is wasted on a farter

Had a few brussel sprouts last night

 

lethal

Had a few brussel sprouts last night

 

lethal

 

Not if you keep one back and jam it in your sphincter.

Not if you keep one back and jam it in your sphincter.

 

But where is the fun in that? (dont answer)

 

Farting is for sharing especially at Christmas time, people who either dont fart or keep them to themselves are simply selfish.

 

And remember folks farting is for life not just Christmas

But where is the fun in that? (dont answer)

 

Farting is for sharing especially at Christmas time, people who either dont fart or keep them to themselves are simply selfish.

 

And remember folks farting is for life not just Christmas

 

On a serious note - I'll be enjoying my first Christmas with my lovely new Mrs this year. We've been together for almost 2 months now and as of yet, neither of us have let rip (at least audibly) in front of each other.

 

How long should one leave it? Would it spoil the mystique? Would it add to the relationship? Or would I risk spending New Years as a single man?

 

My future is in your hands......

On a serious note - I'll be enjoying my first Christmas with my lovely new Mrs this year. We've been together for almost 2 months now and as of yet, neither of us have let rip (at least audibly) in front of each other.

 

How long should one leave it? Would it spoil the mystique? Would it add to the relationship? Or would I risk spending New Years as a single man?

 

My future is in your hands......

 

If she's piped you off then I think its OK for you to fart. But not at the same time.

 

Give it a year or two before you do that.

Not if you keep one back and jam it in your sphincter.

 

Theres no room due to the carrot thats already there

On a serious note - I'll be enjoying my first Christmas with my lovely new Mrs this year. We've been together for almost 2 months now and as of yet, neither of us have let rip (at least audibly) in front of each other.

 

How long should one leave it? Would it spoil the mystique? Would it add to the relationship? Or would I risk spending New Years as a single man?

 

My future is in your hands......

 

 

Had a similar quandry myself a few weeks back, was staying at a "friends" house, although its nothing serious she is alreet and a bit posh. Iam slighty out of sync with the ettiquette nowadays and wasnt sure what is acceptable what is not. Morning after a meal and night out I was dying to let rip, it was so bad I was getting stomach ache but it didnt seem right to do it in front of her, I feel when you do that the relationship has crossed a bridge and to be honest Iam not ready to cross the bridge yet. Anyway I decided to go into the bathroom to fart, fcuk me it was the loadest rasper Ive ever done so I flushes the toilet trying to drown the noise out, next thing the release of the built up gas means I need a shit so I have a quick dump concious of the fact Ive been in their a while and will have to do two flushes. I finishes and climbs back in bed nothing is said we start getting in the mood, she says she is going brushing her teeth as she has morning breath after the meal and drinks, comes back we have a shag jobs a good un. She then goes down to make breakfast and I go for a slash and fuck me Ive got a homesick turd, was like a coiled python curled up in the pan. She must have seen it when brushing her teeth, it couldnt have been hers as she didnt have enough time. I embarrassed to fuckery although I still got a shag and a full english so she must not have minded too much.

On a serious note - I'll be enjoying my first Christmas with my lovely new Mrs this year. We've been together for almost 2 months now and as of yet, neither of us have let rip (at least audibly) in front of each other.

 

How long should one leave it? Would it spoil the mystique? Would it add to the relationship? Or would I risk spending New Years as a single man?

 

My future is in your hands......

 

Ahhh, the owd first fart conundrum...

 

Wait til you're comfortable then do something special so she remembers it...I've done it twice that I can recall:

 

1) Was seeing this proper stunner, so I wanted to impress and hadn't farted for about 3 months other than running to the toilet to "piss" whilst farting with the taps running so she wouldn't hear me. Anyway after a couple of months I felt more comfortable. We were ont he way to Alton Towers and stopped for petrol...I'd had a few sherbets the night before and that always makes me fart the next morning. So I filled up my motor up whilst she sat in the passenger seat, then prior to paying I opened the driver's door, filled it with lovely fumes, then closed it again, meandering off to pay for the fuel whilst she choked on my arsegas.

 

2) The current missus when i started seeing her 1st time around, about 5 years ago...Saturday morning (after a night on the ale again), she's in bed in my flat, I'm in the lounge with my flatmate and Gumbo watching SoccerAM (when it was still half decent)...anyway again I'd not farted in front of her and still being a pit pissed I went back into the bedroom, bent over pretending to get something out of the wardrobe, meaning my arse was directly in her face and simply let rip

 

Ya can't go wrong

Ahhh, the owd first fart conundrum...

 

Wait til you're comfortable then do something special so she remembers it...I've done it twice that I can recall:

 

1) Was seeing this proper stunner, so I wanted to impress and hadn't farted for about 3 months other than running to the toilet to "piss" whilst farting with the taps running so she wouldn't hear me. Anyway after a couple of months I felt more comfortable. We were ont he way to Alton Towers and stopped for petrol...I'd had a few sherbets the night before and that always makes me fart the next morning. So I filled up my motor up whilst she sat in the passenger seat, then prior to paying I opened the driver's door, filled it with lovely fumes, then closed it again, meandering off to pay for the fuel whilst she choked on my arsegas.

 

2) The current missus when i started seeing her 1st time around, about 5 years ago...Saturday morning (after a night on the ale again), she's in bed in my flat, I'm in the lounge with my flatmate and Gumbo watching SoccerAM (when it was still half decent)...anyway again I'd not farted in front of her and still being a pit pissed I went back into the bedroom, bent over pretending to get something out of the wardrobe, meaning my arse was directly in her face and simply let rip

 

Ya can't go wrong

 

You cant buy class young Jules

I wanted to impress and hadn't farted for about 3 months other than running to the toilet to "piss" whilst farting with the taps running so she wouldn't hear me.

 

This has been my preferred method so far. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in doing this as I was concerned I was some kind of social misfit.

Open the window, Cup your hands, catch the gas, and fling it out

Open the window, Cup your hands, catch the gas, and fling it out

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO thats a waste, catch the gas, check it if its good chuck it in her face, she will love it I tell thee

Having been on a train carriage with Henry, his arse gasses are some of the most noxious I've ever known. Although Fester beats him hands down.

If you can't fart in front of them: there's no future in it.

 

But the preferred method of saving a fart for later is one of those ziplock sandwich bags, but birds do wonder why you keep them in the bathroom!

Having been on a train carriage with Henry, his arse gasses are some of the most noxious I've ever known. Although Fester beats him hands down.

Aye after that coach trip to Macedonia, I concur that Fester wins hands-down