office discussion on funny songs with everton and spurs fan

 

had a couple

 

"you haven't got foreskins" when we played spurs in response to "we've only scored 14"

 

and

 

"he shoots he scores he'll eat your labrador"

 

need some more we've done over the years, either for our players or topical piss taking out of the opposition

 

rack your brains lads

Did you really think it was suitable?

 

 

point taken, but it is good

Its not the one where his face is like the moon is it

 

There's always the non racist one

 

Ryan Giggs is illegitimate

He aint got no birth certificate

He's got aids, he cant get rid of it

He's a munich b*stard...

point taken, but it is good

 

I can remember the look HenryVIII's mates got singing it on a train from London, some people were not happy.

"Were the lads, youve seen us on the tele, we only hate the cockneys coz they killed Jimmy Kelly, Chelsea are the bastards, Millwall are the ruuuuuuunners, walking down to highburyyyy, to kill the cockney gunners"

 

"Stick the fucking boot in Booooooolton, Stick the fucking boot in Booooooolton"

 

"The year was 1958 the merry month of May, we all went down to Wembley to watch the Wanderers play, we beat the Munich bastards, the score was two to nil, at ten to three the teams came out ready for the kill"

A Queen of the South song from the 70s....

 

To land of hope and glory....

 

We hate Dixon of Dock Green

We hate Z Cars too

We hate Softly Softly

But Queens we love you

 

Sung to.... well it's obvious

you know my brothers in borstal

my sisters got pox

my mothers a whore on the liverpool docks

my uncles a bast&rd, my auntys a slag

the yorkshire rippers my dad

 

you know we live in walkden

and we live in mud huts

some say we"re crazy and some say we"re nuts

but we follow bolton

cos we know its right

we are the walkden whites

 

na na na

 

Used to love being with all't walkden lot singing that, happy days

Edited March 24, 201016 yr by athywhite1958

"Were the lads, youve seen us on the tele, we only hate the cockneys coz they killed Jimmy Kelly, Chelsea are the bastards, Millwall are the ruuuuuuunners, walking down to highburyyyy, to kill the cockney gunners"

 

"Stick the fucking boot in Booooooolton, Stick the fucking boot in Booooooolton"

"The year was 1958 the merry month of May, we all went down to Wembley to watch the Wanderers play, we beat the Munich bastards, the score was two to nil, at ten to three the teams came out ready for the kill"

[

/quote]

Nathaniel Lofthouse is our king, the Bolton fans did roar,

And just so he could please them, he went right up and scored,

Twenty minutes later, gregg and Lofthouse met,

The goalie tumbled over the line, the ball was in the net,

na na na naaaaa, etc

 

After the match was over, on the town we went,

......?????? and all our money was spent,

A gang of lads came over ,and asked us where we from,

Someone shouted "Bolton,fuck off you cockney cunt."

na na na naaaaa

"Were the lads, youve seen us on the tele, we only hate the cockneys coz they killed Jimmy Kelly, Chelsea are the bastards, Millwall are the ruuuuuuunners, walking down to highburyyyy, to kill the cockney gunners"

 

"Stick the fucking boot in Booooooolton, Stick the fucking boot in Booooooolton"

"The year was 1958 the merry month of May, we all went down to Wembley to watch the Wanderers play, we beat the Munich bastards, the score was two to nil, at ten to three the teams came out ready for the kill"

[

/quote]

Nathaniel Lofthouse is our king, the Bolton fans did roar,

And just so he could please them, he went right up and scored,

Twenty minutes later, gregg and Lofthouse met,

The goalie tumbled over the line, the ball was in the net,

na na na naaaaa, etc

 

After the match was over, on the town we went,

In the pubs and clubs, all our money was spent,

A gang of lads came over ,and asked us where we from,

Someone shouted "Bolton,fuck off you cockney cunt."

na na na naaaaa

He's bald,

He's Scouse,

He'll rob yer fcukin house,

Steve McMahon, Steve McMahon.

 

Sang in the Manny Road circa 1994 v Swindon (I think)

His neck scar prooves he lost his head Tevez Tevez

You'll never shag a sexy bird tevez Tevez

You ugly twat, you argy cunt

They've sown your head on back to front

Carlos Tevez Herman Munster head

 

A scouse mate of mine told me this one and its better sung in a scouse accent;

 

Gally Neville shags his brudder

and his sister and his mudder

all the nevilles shag each other

there all fuckin inbreds

 

Bertie Mee said to Don Revie

Have you heard of the North bank Highbury

Don said no I dont think so

but Ive heard of the lever enders

 

We are the lever the lever enders

 

My old man said be a munich fan

I said fuck off bollocks your cunt

I'd rather fuck a bucket with a big hole in it

than be a munich fan for a fuckin minute

I fucked and I fucked it

I fucked and I fucked it

I fucked till I could fuck no more

And I got more pleasure out of fucking that bucket

Than seeing the munich score

 

Manchester, Manchester, Manchester United

Your a bunch of dirty basterds you deserve to get shited*

If they come to your town dont go down to the football ground

if you do you will see football fucked up by busby

 

*Second line isnt quite right, Ive got a mental block.

His neck scar prooves he lost his head Tevez Tevez

You'll never shag a sexy bird tevez Tevez

You ugly twat, you argy cunt

They've sown your head on back to front

Carlos Tevez Herman Munster head

 

A scouse mate of mine told me this one and its better sung in a scouse accent;

 

Gally Neville shags his brudder

and his sister and his mudder

all the nevilles shag each other

there all fuckin inbreds

 

Bertie Mee said to Don Revie

Have you heard of the North bank Highbury

Don said no I dont think so

but Ive heard of the lever enders

 

We are the lever the lever enders

 

My old man said be a munich fan

I said fuck off bollocks your cunt

I'd rather fuck a bucket with a big hole in it

than be a munich fan for a fuckin minute

I fucked and I fucked it

I fucked and I fucked it

I fucked till I could fuck no more

And I got more pleasure out of fucking that bucket

Than seeing the munich score

 

Manchester, Manchester, Manchester United

Your a bunch of dirty basterds you deserve to get shited*

If they come to your town dont go down to the football ground

if you do you will see football fucked up by busby

 

*Second line isnt quite right, Ive got a mental block.

Yoo're a bunch of bumbling busby bastards,you deserve to get shited.

His neck scar prooves he lost his head Tevez Tevez

You'll never shag a sexy bird tevez Tevez

You ugly twat, you argy cunt

They've sown your head on back to front

Carlos Tevez Herman Munster head

 

 

BUT I PREFER MY VERSION

 

he went from being red to blue tevez, tevez

he wound up that chunt fergie too tevez, tevez

but he is still an ugly runt

and i still hate that argy chunt

carlos tevez, has herman munsters head

elephant man

elephant mannnnn

joleon lescott

the elephant man

Adebayoouuur

Adebayouuuur

He used to like coach trips

But he doesnt no more

It was the ice on the wings that made the aeroplane go down.

The eroplane go do - wn, the aeroplane go down.

It was the ice on the wings that made the aeroplane go down.

In a most delightful way!

To English Country Garden:

 

"How many players lost their lives at the Munich Air Disaster,

i'll tell you some that i heard of, and you'll piss your sides with laughter,

Bobby Charlton lost his hair, Duncan Edwards lost his head, Nobbeee Stiles, lost his teeth,

Forgot the last line, its a owd un ???

 

The plane was on the ground, there was bodies all around,

at the Munich Air Disaster.

 

Nine of em died so they played five a side,

at the Munich Air Disaster.

 

Jackie wasnt there when Bobby lost his hair,

at the Munich Air Disaster.

Edited March 25, 201016 yr by Breightmet Boy

there was an air disater upon 40 years ago

mat busby and his crashed on the snow

at they trawled through the wreckige to see who was dead?

...there was duncan edwards without his fucking head!!...

 

 

sorry.

p.s..i dearnt do the 'and kevin olsens body lay a moudling in his grave' song...bet theres nobody on here knows it proper from start to finnish?

Edited March 26, 201016 yr by gonzo

Bet I do my lil suntanned churub.

 

Theres a terraced house in Blackpool

with the ivy round the door

 

 

No more from me as its a tad tasteless to say the least. Iam also a bit uncomfortable with the munich stuff nowadays. Am I getting old?

there was an air disater upon 40 years ago

mat busby and his crashed on the snow

at they trawled through the wreckige to see who was dead?

...there was duncan edwards without his fucking head!!...

 

 

sorry.

p.s..i dearnt do the 'and kevin olsens body lay a moudling in his grave' song...bet theres nobody on here knows it proper from start to finnish?

 

 

heres my effort

 

theres a terraced house in blackpool

it has ivy round the door.

where a girl received a letter it came from bloomfield road

with her mothers arms around her

she gave way to sobs and sighs

that dirty old boot from blackpool was kevin olsens wife.

 

why did she weep, why did she cry

he lost his life that august day

but now he"s gone so far away

and now he"s molding in hiiiiiis grave

 

oh kevin olsens body lies a ..........etc

heres my effort

 

theres a terraced house in blackpool

it has ivy round the door.

where a girl received a letter it came from bloomfield road

with her mothers arms around her

she gave way to sobs and sighs

that dirty old boot from blackpool was kevin olsens wife.

 

why did she weep, why did she cry

he lost his life that august day

but now he"s gone so far away

and now he"s molding in hiiiiiis grave

 

oh kevin olsens body lies a ..........etc

 

 

Bloody hell, that ones truly fucked up.

 

Hark now hear the Wanderers sing,

the pilot was my mate,

he was the one who crashed the plane in 1958!

 

Dancing where ever you may be,

we are the BWFC,

and we'll fuck you up, where ever you maybe,

and we'll put you in the infirmiry!

To English Country Garden:

 

"How many players lost their lives at the Munich Air Disaster,

i'll tell you some that i heard of, and you'll piss your sides with laughter,

Bobby Charlton lost his hair, Duncan Edwards lost his head, Nobbeee Stiles, lost his teeth,

Forgot the last line, its a owd un ???

 

The plane was on the ground, there was bodies all around,

at the Munich Air Disaster.

 

Nine of em died so they played five a side,

at the Munich Air Disaster.

 

Jackie wasnt there when Bobby lost his hair,

at the Munich Air Disaster.

 

Try "Matt Busby did cry!"

the wanderers are coming up the hill boys

the wanderers are coming up the hill boys

they all laugh at us, they all mock at us

they all say our days are numbered

but we wander on victoriously

so thered better hurry up

cos we"re gunna win the cup

we are the pride of division 3.2.1

victorious and glorious,

we took the stretford end between the 4 of us

thank feck there wasn"t any more of us

or we"d have killed the feckin lot

Yip Jaap Stam is a big Dutchman

He takes it up the arse any way he can

He takes it off Giggs and he takes it off Keane

Yip Jaap Stam is a fcuking Dutch queen

Bet I do my lil suntanned churub.

 

Theres a terraced house in Blackpool

with the ivy round the door

 

 

No more from me as its a tad tasteless to say the least. Iam also a bit uncomfortable with the munich stuff nowadays. Am I getting old?

 

maybe cos we've got kids coming up to the same age as some of them that died

 

each to their own, but i also try to put those songs behind me

:yahoo:happy print these onto songsheets for saturday