What is the best chat up line you've used or had used on you?

 

I once knew a lad who's opening gambit was,

 

"Scuse me love, do you know how to get skid marks off a sheep skin rug?"

 

always worked, or so he said.

Nice eyes, can I bum you?

Jazza & LW will be all over this later, I'm sure.

Fancy going halves on a bastard?

 

(and, no, I've never actually heard it said)

My dear, you are positively exquisite. May I have the pleasure of purchasing your next drink or, perchance, escorting you to the dancing area, where we could engage each other in a dance of the style appropriate for the current rhythms?

Never really used the cheesy lines, they are corny and the ladies dont usually fall for them. However if you can make a bird laugh, then she is halfway into bed

However if you can make a bird laugh, then she is halfway into bed

 

 

He's right, for once.

Never really used the cheesy lines, they are corny and the ladies dont usually fall for them. However if you can make a bird laugh, then she is halfway into bed

 

Unless, I guess, she's laughing at your cock.

Did any of you see the apprentice this series when they were in the shopping centre

 

One of the lads did a trick to get the girls to go with him for massages etc by making them lift their little finger and then he hooked them with his and dragged them off

 

Well a "mate" reckons that works really, really well.

He's right, for once.

 

Tis true, make them laugh followed by a couple of compliments then take piss out of them, then do the same to their mate, they will not know what has hit them.

 

tatters deep by Midnight

Tis true, make them laugh followed by a couple of compliments then take piss out of them, then do the same to their mate, they will not know what has hit them.

 

tatters deep by Midnight

 

 

No, I know, you are indeed correct. Strange as it may seem.

Did any of you see the apprentice this series when they were in the shopping centre

 

One of the lads did a trick to get the girls to go with him for massages etc by making them lift their little finger and then he hooked them with his and dragged them off

 

Well a "mate" reckons that works really, really well.

 

 

Horses for courses like but I'd just think "cock".

Horses for courses like but I'd just think "cock".

 

So it DOES work then.

Horses for courses like but I'd just think "cock".

That's exactly what you want them to think about

So it DOES work then.

Bugger - fastest finger!

No, I know, you are indeed correct. Strange as it may seem.

 

No Balls, thats 3 times in a week that you have said I am correct, people will start talking

No Balls, thats 3 times in a week that you have said I am correct, people will start talking

 

 

They'd better not start thinking I'm going soft in my old age!

 

 

 

P.S. When's nobhead allowed to come out next?

Edited June 15, 201115 yr by no balls

"Give me a wank with yer mouth yer slut"

 

"Show us yer cunt yer twat"

 

Obviously in Breightmet I use a touch more decorum

P.S. When's nobhead allowed to come out next?

 

As in my Wife?

 

She asked me if I would take her out, I said "yes with a fucking rifle"

Cheesy

 

"Excuse me love have you got a mirror in your knickers coz I can see me in them tonight"

 

Oi fatty, how's yer arse for spots"?

Edited June 15, 201115 yr by Breightmet Boy

As in my Wife?

 

She asked me if I would take her out, I said "yes with a fucking rifle"

 

 

Yes, as in the wife.

I see the charm offensive you speak of is a long term thing, then.

What about "Hey love you smell gorgeous, what have you got on?", she answers, "It's called Come to me." Follows up with "It doesnt smell like Come to me!" She says, "You dont smell too bad yourself, what have you got on?" He says, "Ive got a hard on but I dont think you can smell it!" BOOM BOOM

Yes, as in the wife.

I see the charm offensive you speak of is a long term thing, then.

 

Ask her, I like it when she goes out, I can pull myself all around the house.

Get in the fucking van!

Hello flower, does this rag smell like chloroform?