Dear Mr Whelan

[Casino]

I write this letter with reference to your imminent vacancy for the post of 'First Team Manager' of your Barclays Premier League club

 

My CV is attached and as you see, it shows an unblemished record of failure

 

I did an excellent job at Burnley, preparing them for certain relegation from the Barclays Premier League

 

This success earned me the opportunity to destroy 10 years hard work at Bolton Wanderers Football Club. A club who had recently achieved qualification for the UEFA Cup

 

My task there is now complete and I feel ready to take on a new opportunity in the Barclays Premier League

 

In view of the fact that I threw the game between our 2 great Barclay Premier League clubs, kickstarting your hopeless season, I would hope you would consider my application

 

Should you have any doubts I can achieve a reduced wage bill - and relegation of course - I've asked my stooges and lackeys whether they would join me in order to guarantee immediate results

 

I'm pleased to inform you that everybody is in.

 

Not for you the worries that we may make a late season charge for survival in the league of fine margins

 

The fat kit man takes some feeding, but you piemen will be able to sort him, I'm sure

 

So, Mr Whelan, fcuk Martinez off and allow me to relegate Wigan Athletic Football Club from the Barclays Premier League

 

Yours, in clapping like a fcuking seal

 

Owen

[gonzo]

[gregbwfc]

The bit about kick starting their season is what narks the most.

Win that game and Wigan were down - Coyle you idiot

[SeanBW]

The bit about kick starting their season is what narks the most.

Win that game and Wigan were down - Coyle you idiot

 

Wigan stayed up by 7 points.If we'd done the double on them rather than just beating them away they'd have stayed up by 3 points and QPR gone down.

 

Wigan didn't have their best two midfield players out all season and their most expensive one out for the last 3 months after a heart attack.If that had happened to Wigan it would have been them going down.But then again Whelan would probably have found money to replace them rather than sell his best player in January as Bolton did.

Edited May 18, 2012 by SeanBW

[jules_darby]

All I read there was

 

mmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Owen I love the taste of your chocolate star fish in the morning

[Henry_VIII]

I write this letter with reference to your imminent vacancy for the post of 'First Team Manager' of your Barclays Premier League club

 

My CV is attached and as you see, it shows an unblemished record of failure

 

I did an excellent job at Burnley, preparing them for certain relegation from the Barclays Premier League

 

This success earned me the opportunity to destroy 10 years hard work at Bolton Wanderers Football Club. A club who had recently achieved qualification for the UEFA Cup

 

My task there is now complete and I feel ready to take on a new opportunity in the Barclays Premier League

 

In view of the fact that I threw the game between our 2 great Barclay Premier League clubs, kickstarting your hopeless season, I would hope you would consider my application

 

Should you have any doubts I can achieve a reduced wage bill - and relegation of course - I've asked my stooges and lackeys whether they would join me in order to guarantee immediate results

 

I'm pleased to inform you that everybody is in.

 

Not for you the worries that we may make a late season charge for survival in the league of fine margins

 

The fat kit man takes some feeding, but you piemen will be able to sort him, I'm sure

 

So, Mr Whelan, fcuk Martinez off and allow me to relegate Wigan Athletic Football Club from the Barclays Premier League

 

Yours, in clapping like a fcuking seal

 

Owen

 

Henry likes this

[HR]

What is another criminal failing by Coyle was to abandon a system that had albeit limited success for one which gave confidence and belief to the oppositon and did the opposite to our players. The wigan players looked like they had never kicked a ball for the first 10 minutes, then once they realised Eagles couldn't be arsed and one or two other bolton players were out for a stroll they grew in confidence and should have won by 5. A definate turning point in both teams seasons.

 

Anyways I've dusted myself down now and returned to work with a smile on my face like some inane fookin idiot.

[little whitt]

love it

[Bigtoe]

Has Diddles hacked into Cas' account ?

[Casino]

Has Diddles hacked into Cas' account ?

 

i thowt as much meself

[bolton va va]

Wigan stayed up by 7 points.If we'd done the double on them rather than just beating them away they'd have stayed up by 3 points and QPR gone down.

 

 

If we'd done the double over Wigan, we would have stayed up, but Coyle lost us that game by scrapping the system that was working and reverting to the system he favoured but had taken us to the bottom of the league.

[Traf]

Wigan stayed up by 7 points.If we'd done the double on them rather than just beating them away they'd have stayed up by 3 points and QPR gone down.

 

Wigan didn't have their best two midfield players out all season and their most expensive one out for the last 3 months after a heart attack.If that had happened to Wigan it would have been them going down.But then again Whelan would probably have found money to replace them rather than sell his best player in January as Bolton did.

 

If we'd beaten Wigan, we'd have stayed up.

They'd also have gone down.

 

When you remove your head from your arse, look up the words "impetus" and "habit" in the dictionary.

Winning & losing can become habits. We fired up their season, whilst stalling our own. it could and should have been very different.

[Rembrandt]

If we'd beaten Wigan, we'd have stayed up.

They'd also have gone down.

 

When you remove your head from your arse, look up the words "impetus" and "habit" in the dictionary.

Winning & losing can become habits. We fired up their season, whilst stalling our own. it could and should have been very different.

 

It's plain sad when you have to spell these things out, Traf. Shouldn't be necessary.

[frankietheman]

Best - most accurate and most amusing thing I have read all week. Pity there's no foundation to it!

[frankietheman]

Has Diddles hacked into Cas' account ?

 

Nah - too astute and mature for Diddles

[sirnatlofty]

whelan lives half a mile down the road from me. Id be happy to clarify house name and post code if you would like to send him your letter. im pretty close to hand delivering it myself but ive got a steaming curry being flown in and cant leave the house at any cost.

[no balls]

whelan lives half a mile down the road from me. Id be happy to clarify house name and post code if you would like to send him your letter. im pretty close to hand delivering it myself but ive got a steaming curry being flown in and cant leave the house at any cost.

 

Do you ever see his son? Does he still think he's James Bond?

[sirnatlofty]

Do you ever see his son? Does he still think he's James Bond?

 

not seen him for a while, he may have changed his ways.

[no balls]

not seen him for a while, he may have changed his ways.

 

Or the medication has been increased

[Mike Hunt]

I write this letter with reference to your imminent vacancy for the post of 'First Team Manager' of your Barclays Premier League club

 

My CV is attached and as you see, it shows an unblemished record of failure

 

I did an excellent job at Burnley, preparing them for certain relegation from the Barclays Premier League

 

This success earned me the opportunity to destroy 10 years hard work at Bolton Wanderers Football Club. A club who had recently achieved qualification for the UEFA Cup

 

My task there is now complete and I feel ready to take on a new opportunity in the Barclays Premier League

 

In view of the fact that I threw the game between our 2 great Barclay Premier League clubs, kickstarting your hopeless season, I would hope you would consider my application

 

Should you have any doubts I can achieve a reduced wage bill - and relegation of course - I've asked my stooges and lackeys whether they would join me in order to guarantee immediate results

 

I'm pleased to inform you that everybody is in.

 

Not for you the worries that we may make a late season charge for survival in the league of fine margins

 

The fat kit man takes some feeding, but you piemen will be able to sort him, I'm sure

 

So, Mr Whelan, fcuk Martinez off and allow me to relegate Wigan Athletic Football Club from the Barclays Premier League

 

Yours, in clapping like a fcuking seal

 

Owen

 

Dear Mr. Coyle,

 

Thank you for your application. One question, are you able to supply your own bat, ball and table for training, or is a visit to DW Sports in order?

[SeanBW]

If so why not visit the DW Sports I've built on Burnden Park to take the piss out of Bolton as well as boosting my bank balance so I could buy your best goalkeeper?

[no balls]

If so why not visit the DW Sports I've built on Burnden Park to take the piss out of Bolton as well as boosting my bank balance so I could buy your best goalkeeper?

 

Go on, give us a smile.

[SeanBW]

Go on, give us a smile.

 

OK then Big Sam is back where he belongs and that means Whelan will have to pay more money to finish 4th bottom than if Blackpool had gone up.