Got one

 

Any advice apart from having a wank first and not wiping my cock on the curtain

I'd say if you're asking for advice on here she's going to be disappointed.

Pick no.3 and when cilla asks how you got on tell her to fuck off.

Edited April 1, 201313 yr by tomski

Both fair points

Take some treats for the labrador

Diesel "ONLY THE BRAVE TATTOO" Aftershave. works every time.

Put some Braille on your cock,

Diesel "ONLY THE BRAVE TATTOO" Aftershave. works every time.

You know those Lynx sprays, I always thought, what a load of bollocks, but there's one and it does actually make you feel a bit ooooh.

Edited April 1, 201313 yr by no balls

Ask her if you can fist her.

Two in the pink?

No, one in the pink and one in the stink.

You know those Lynx sprays, I always thought, what a load of bollocks, but there's one and it does actually make you feel a bit ooooh.

The diesel one is pure aphrodisiac. had some fine results with it. I wouldn't dare go in the swan waftin of it.

 

The diesel one is pure aphrodisiac. had some fine results with it. I wouldn't dare go in the swan waftin of it.

You could go in smelling like a butchers apron and those horrible creatures'd still be crawling on you.

Cup a fart right into her face as soon as you can

 

If she hangs around after that you're certain to get pokey wets.

Ask her if you can fist her.

 

Already have

Already have

 

Asked or fisted?

Already have

 

And so I ask again: where does one meet these people?

Tinternet is a great and wonderous tool

 

 

Asked or fisted?

 

Physically or mentally?

Tinternet is a great and wonderous tool

 

I must go on different sites

I thought that you had recently started seeing some bird who you said "was the one" did that go tits up?

Tirs up mate

This lady I'm meeting isn't "the one"

 

She's rough as arseholes

Tirs up mate

What ? Do you mean like Jedward ?

This lady I'm meeting isn't "the one"

 

She's rough as arseholes

 

fist her arse