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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

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Stand-Up Wiping Part 2

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I think I've internal Johnny Giles...

That out there.

(not them, yet...)

Will the stand-up wipers please reaffirm and make comment on Donald Trump?

It's for science type reasons and no judgement.

 

 

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  • Not in Crawley
    Not in Crawley

    I’m honestly shocked that folk sit down to wipe.  Weird.

  • RONNIE PHILLIPS
    RONNIE PHILLIPS

    Yourri doesn't sit down through choice, it's just that for the most part he's incapable of standing.

  • Logistically, a stand up wipe cannot possibly ensure a sparkle clean. Particularly if you are a larger fellow. A sit down wipe means your cheeks are already at full stretch, thus allowing th

Gravy on battered fish and lifelong stand up wiper. Sitting down? That’s for children and women.

I’m in agreement with Crawley here. Loads of gravy on battered fish and always stand up to wipe as I like to have a gander and what I’ve dropped in the pan first and then need the freedom given only by standing up to give it a good old wipe 

  • Author

Have you animals got outward scoped buttocks? For me standing up clenches cheeks, wiping thus near impossible.

Everyone checks the progress of the wipes(s) but not by dragging that progress report up ones back or through ballsac/perenium?

Animals.

stand Up wipers should live in a fucking cave.

eating lobby

  • Author

Whilst perusing the undigested corn/shite on their ballsac...

Real men have gravy on battered fish

but, I can't even understand the logistics of stand up wiping & i'd guess that anyone trying it, has got a bathroom like Bobby Sands' cell.

I’m honestly shocked that folk sit down to wipe. 

Weird.

  • Author

You're fucking sat down to begin with ffs, unless you've a long drop or drag a bin into proceedings...

  • Author

Unlikely bedfellows Bolty and Crawley united by their common bestial behaviour, standing up to wipe, who'd have thought it?

11 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

You're fucking sat down to begin with ffs, unless you've a long drop or drag a bin into proceedings...

Sit down wipers are akin to oddballs who sit down in the shower.

I didn't even know sit down wipers existed until i started posting on here. They can't be taken serious.

 

 

2 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Sit down wipers are akin to oddballs who sit down in the shower.

You must have a ring piece like a chocolate frosted donut.

  • Author
6 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Sit down wipers are akin to oddballs who sit down in the shower.

so 60 million Spanish folk are wrong?

3 minutes ago, deane koontz said:

I didn't even know sit down wipers existed until i started posting on here. They can't be taken serious.

 

 

You stand up, clench cheeks then "wipe' faeces ways? Beast.

1 hour ago, Not in Crawley said:

Gravy on battered fish and lifelong stand up wiper. Sitting down? That’s for children and women.

 

Pretty much.

  • Author

You're sat down to begin with ffs...mentalists.

Edited by Youri McAnespie
new kewboard

Logistically, a stand up wipe cannot possibly ensure a sparkle clean.

Particularly if you are a larger fellow.

A sit down wipe means your cheeks are already at full stretch, thus allowing the toilet paper maximum contact with the cornhole.

You therefore have a better chance of wiping every morsel of shitty detritus from the starfish.

A stand up wipe mean rooting through extra amounts of clenched flesh, and will result in shite smearing to all points of the compass and you cannot get full sphincteral contact.

Ipso facto, stand up wipers smell of shit.

  • Author

It's just bizarre, the whole concept, Spider...

The action of a Fred West type, pure and simple...

5 minutes ago, deane koontz said:

I didn't even know sit down wipers existed until i started posting on here. They can't be taken serious.

 

 

And vice versa. Anybody with even a redimentary comprehension of anatomy and physiology would understand that standing up to wipe involuntarily forces together a human's gluteous maximus muscles; rendering proper botty hygeine nigh on impossible.

I can only assume the 'standers' are all walking around with shitty arses?

Kent's a medical person, so knows what he's on about.

Standers - it's time to rethink your habits. Splay those cheeks and get that biz off your balloon knots.

 

On a slightly related note, I watched an art movie the other day and an American gentleman was wearing a pair of gloves that guarantee a firm grip on the buttocks. They had "Gape Glove" written on them and seemed to do a cracking job. The lady who was helping with the demonstration proved their effectiveness by showing the camera her upper colon.

Maybe give them a go.

  • Author

Anyone working  within our healthcare system, well, it should be incorporated into mandatory training. A UV scan of the ringpiece and hands at the end with a ironic sticker ('Clean Ring 2019') as reward...

I assure you all I’m very clean (well us theatre types need to be ready for a bumming at any time)

Again - sitters have never grown up and are essentially kids.

1 minute ago, kent_white said:

And vice versa. Anybody with even a redimentary comprehension of anatomy and physiology would understand that standing up to wipe involuntarily forces together a human's gluteous maximus muscles; rendering proper botty hygeine nigh on impossible.

I can only assume the 'standers' are all walking around with shitty arses?

 

There's a lot of big words there but you're wrong. Essentially, you sit downers are all flatdicks.

Just now, deane koontz said:

 

There's a lot of big words there but you're wrong. Essentially, you sit downers are all flatdicks.

Your crack must smell like a youth hostel soilstack.

  • Author

What is to be gained from standing from seated to wipe? Nothing.

Nothing.

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