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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

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Stand-Up Wiping Part 2

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  • Author
6 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

I assure you all I’m very clean (well us theatre types need to be ready for a bumming at any time)

Again - sitters have never grown up and are essentially kids.

Now you must know why Sir Ian and other sundry theatre folk cocked you a snook...A disgusting unkempt bum.

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  • Not in Crawley
    Not in Crawley

    I’m honestly shocked that folk sit down to wipe.  Weird.

  • RONNIE PHILLIPS
    RONNIE PHILLIPS

    Yourri doesn't sit down through choice, it's just that for the most part he's incapable of standing.

  • Logistically, a stand up wipe cannot possibly ensure a sparkle clean. Particularly if you are a larger fellow. A sit down wipe means your cheeks are already at full stretch, thus allowing th

2 minutes ago, Spider said:

Your crack must smell like a youth hostel soilstack.

Clean as a whistle unlike you filthy fuckers :bad:

Imagine being sat behind a Stander at the match on a hot day.

The fetid, pungent, cloying stench of dried shit, remoistened by a sweaty crack drifting up your nose, and the gravy like drips in their Y-backs staining their Wranglers.

Beasts

 

You sitters are a bit too fundamental.

Which is why you’re all a bit odd.

1 minute ago, Not in Crawley said:

You sitters are a bit too fundamental.

Which is why you’re all a bit odd.

You must have more clingons than a series of Star Trek 

You'll need a chisel, not bog roll.

12 minutes ago, deane koontz said:

 

There's a lot of big words there but you're wrong. Essentially, you sit downers are all flatdicks.

I've examined the peer reviewed research on this and you're wrong. The majority of men sit to wipe. With around a third of men choosing to stand. This around the same percentage that are predicted to have homosexual fantasies - 1 in 3.

Now I know that correlation doesn't imply causation necessarily - but I think it's pretty clear that it does in this instance.

https://www.menshealth.com/grooming/a22864779/wipe-standing-up/

Just now, kent_white said:

I've examined the peer reviewed research on this and you're wrong. The majority of men sit to wipe. With around a third of men choosing to stand. This around the same percentage that are predicted to have homosexual fantasies - 1 in 3.

Now I know that correlation doesn't imply causation necessarily - but I think it's pretty clear that it does in this instance.

https://www.menshealth.com/grooming/a22864779/wipe-standing-up/

Game

Set 

Match

 

Filth. Utter, stone age filth.

1 minute ago, Spider said:

You must have more clingons than a series of Star Trek 

You'll need a chisel, not bog roll.

I imagine that after years of stand up wiping it becomes physically impossible to 'sit wipe' - probably because the hairs of your arse cheeks will have become welded together with decades of tod.

  • Author

Do you stand to excrete, Crawley?      

I presume you sit to shit, then, counterintuitively, you stand, smear faeces all over the buttock groove then 'wipe'? Ok, then,  animal...          

I’m quite happy with my life choices - as I say, you sitters don’t half like to justify your ape like behaviour.

Edited by Not in Crawley

1 minute ago, Not in Crawley said:

I’m quite happy with my life choices - as I say, you sitters don’t half like to justify your ape like behaviour.

Apes scratch their arses on tree trunks.

I expect you standers have a rough pole or sandpaper wrapped round a rolling pin to achieve the same result.

  • Author

Keep on kidding yourself.

(Crawley).

Edited by Youri McAnespie

  • Author
8 minutes ago, Spider said:

Apes scratch their arses on tree trunks.

I expect you standers have a rough pole or sandpaper wrapped round a rolling pin to achieve the same result.

I'll bet the 'standers' are the ones responsible for those bunched-up shitty tissues discarded on the floor of the traps at the match, the pub, the theatre...

Edited by Youri McAnespie

Why, in all that is holy, would you stand up to wipe your cutter when you are already sat down with your chebs spread? What kind of degenerate would do such an act?

  • Author

 Fucking animals, Winchester.

No right, no left, purely animals.

Keep on kidding yourself folks. 

10 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Keep on kidding yourself folks. 

You’re normally one for reasonable and well structured debate

your lack of decent responses suggests you don’t have a leg to stand on. Except when you’re wiping your grubby, crusted pipe.

10 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Keep on kidding yourself folks. 

That's just typical of your lot. Diversion tactics. Why have you not answered my questions? You lot don't like it when we destroy you with undisputed facts. PM me if you think you're man enough and meet me outside the club shop at half 3.

Tylko zwierzęta stoją, aby je wytrzeć


 

Powinieś usiaść

twoje dno pachnie 

Edited by Spider

  • Author

I run that by a Polish -ex (36d but slim) and she says it's nonsense...

You care to disagree? Royal Bolton next Friday (chip shop Friday at the canteen) 12pm. You'll shit out like all communists do - FACT.

I’d concede that Brexit is going well before I’ll even think that standing is acceptable.

1 hour ago, Not in Crawley said:

You sitters are a bit too fundamental.

Which is why you’re all a bit odd.

They know what they're doing is odd; hence the bizarre levels of passion in defending it. The idea of having a reach around in to the toilet to wipe seems pretty disgusting to me. As for all of these logistical concerns, I can only assume they're coming from people carrying a bit too much timber, so requiring special solutions to work around their bulk.

6 minutes ago, maaarsh said:

They know what they're doing is odd; hence the bizarre levels of passion in defending it. The idea of having a reach around in to the toilet to wipe seems pretty disgusting to me. As for all of these logistical concerns, I can only assume they're coming from people carrying a bit too much timber, so requiring special solutions to work around their bulk.

We don’t dip the bog roll in the water.

the whole procedure ensures the tainted paper stays within the confines of the lavatory area.

you standers must have scraps of shitty a-wipe littering your bathroom floors, and the stench, well....

19 minutes ago, maaarsh said:

They know what they're doing is odd; hence the bizarre levels of passion in defending it. The idea of having a reach around in to the toilet to wipe seems pretty disgusting to me. As for all of these logistical concerns, I can only assume they're coming from people carrying a bit too much timber, so requiring special solutions to work around their bulk.

Logistical concerns? It's wiping your arse, not building the Great Pyramid of Giza! 

The more concerning issue in all this is that some fellas wipe back to front. Can’t get my head around that. 

 

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