Crawley White

Any knobjocky that tries to joke in the office by saying: Excrement instead of excellent Exsqueeze me instead of excuse me Also wearing a mickey mouse tie does not make you entertaining, it means you work in finance.

There is a really good pub just near the tube station, nicest walk to a ground I've ever. Did anyone go to the first match back at CC? We lost 2 - 0, bobbins match but was I dreaming or did Keith Allen come out at the start with a load of dancers in black tights?!

Smiley, man just stay lose.

I tried to burn some garden waste and was told by the council that its a fire controlled area so I couldn't do owt - where they bullshitting me?

Nah, Him and Miss Hoolie are at it like rabbits. He's taken her sailing, for a picnic and send her a special 'hello' when he went on an undercover drugs bust in Venice. Its Spensor and Archie that are filling each other's yogart pots.

You can't drink whilst playing croquet, its a game of immense skill. Actually I did play it at the last wedding (posh buggers decided to have the do at Highclere castle) with none other than TV's top impressionist since Yarwood, John Coulshaw. Now if that isn't a claim to fame, nothing is.

:::: Thanks - I'll have a look. Ok, if money was no option what car would you own? Has to the be the DB9...

See that's what I'm worried about, really I'm after boot space as we're either driving to Canterbury or Bolton at least once a month. I still think for our needs a picasso will suit and they are very cheap (plus I think they look better than Scenics) but I've been warned off the 1.6 versions. Do you know what the major problems are with second hand picassos?

Found a blue plaster in a Morrisons doughnut once and low and behold got a free pack of doughnuts! I'd certainly complain, what with the price of shopping today.

Pimms seriously sickens me.

You're going to the wrong weddings. Pomage?! Maybe Prosecco, but Pomage? Although after this summer I can now catagorically state that Pimms is shit. Its not the taste of summer, its a sweet, privvt hedge ridden excuse of a beverage.

I have owed and used hair strightners in 95 to get my Damon Albarn fringe just right. The shame.

I thought that has to top the lot, but if you think about it all of us on here will have shagged someone before their current husband/wife has. Now if you had shagged her after the ceremony during the speeches, now that would have been naughty.

Ok, I've been to three weddings in the past three weeks with one more to go before the 'season' is over. Looking back and these dos with only vauge memories of each after the main course and after almost having a fight with a best man for nicking a bottle of wine I bought, my question to the group is: What's the worse thing you've ever done at a wedding? (and please no smart arse say 'getting married')

My house, BTW is called Fop's Corner and we live in a lovely little gated commune in Pease Pottage where we share the profits from our white collar, silver backed jobs by hosting veggie cook offs for the local unfortunates. This allows us to feel good about ourselves and sample the delights of locally grown produce. CWP if you are ever in Crawley do drop by, just remember the dress code - sandals and linen sourced from fair trade shops only.

Now, now bolty. Crawley isn't Kensington, or even Horsham for that matter. I'm sure that the drunks at the half way house down our road don't use hair strightners!

Has anyone been watching that programme on Five with Paddy McGuiness and that bloke with an Afro from They think its all over? Its not been brilliant but tonight they visit the father in law's local pub in Canterbury to play Bat and Trap. If you feel so inclined watch and then realise how lucky you are not to live in a place that has to make up such shitty pub games.

I was thinking of the 1.8 picasso, cheap as chips second hand and no matter how ugly is better looking than my current skip.

Sod PC, just want value for money. maybe an estate is the way to go but then I always associate estates with social workers for some reason. Anyway, anyone want to buy a L reg beaten up to fcuk Toyota Carolla with 203,000 miles on it? Lovely stereo though and 8 months tax and MOT. Pick up only.... Thought not.

Just a winter event really if you count a smoking jacket as a tea stain blue towelin dressing gown and free slippers from a hotel you once stayed at that make you look like your off the set of Dead Man Walking.

That is a fine arrange of cupholders there but 7 seats is a bit much. Looking at 5 seaters really.

So do I, clear crisp blue skies, long country walks without sweating your bollocks off, bonfire night, a nice bottle of red warming in the kitchen as you slow cook lamb shank..... I'm just putting out of my mind being stuck on the tube with a winter coat on, wet leaves, drizzle, fog etc

Now I'm aware that most of you who have got kids are driving around in 4x4s but I'm thinking about buying an MPV and wondering what the best are second hand. Also just a quick check on What Car shows that it seems to be cheaper buying both privately and from dealerships up north, by quite a bit in some cases. Anyone got any expereince in buying cars up and down the country? Ta.

I thought the 21st September was offically the start of Autumn. Still rubbish summer whenever it starts....

If you haven't bought I Am Kloot's latest then hang your head in shame.