mickbrown

I once broke a bloke's leg and tore his knee ligaments in the same tackle. He was screaming at the side of the pitch for about half an hour before the ambulance turned up.. Put me right off my game.

Cuthbert's

What's the best goal that you have ever scored. Not seen but actually stuck in the onion bag yourself. Mine was as follows I was stood on the corner of the 18 yard box waiting for a throw in. My first touch was, as ever, shite, so the ball looped up and away from me to my left. As it reached the apex of its loop, I volleyed it over my shoulder and into the top corner. We're talking Marco Van Basten. I then nonchalantly walked back to half way line for the restart like I'd meant it all along and score them every day.

Dunno - never been in them before. My mate's mate works for the company who does Everton's website (Derek Hatton's son's company apparently) and they are their tickets.

Got the option of free ticket in the corporate seats at Everton. Haven't made my mind up yet - can't trust myself to keep my mouth shut and sit on my hands. In a quandry.

I'm sure Elton would love that,.

That got on my tits on Match of the Day. Granted, what he did was disgusting and the Portmnouth bloke would have been well within his rights to chin him, but to have that gobshite Shearer pontificating on the subject really wound me up. The worst thing you could do to a fellow pro? Actually St. Alan kicking a bloke who is on his knees full in the face, is pretty low.

I have mixed feelings on this. I loved Burnden because of the history of the place, but in the end it was falling down, it stank and if you were daft enough to go to the bogs you ended up paddling in other people's piss. I'm still scarred from that New Years day match when I had to have a dump. The Reebok is a piece of piss for me to get to with it being near the motorway - I come from Manchester - I set off at 1.55 on Saturday and by 2.10 I was parked up and at the Bromilow Arms.

Any news? He's not knacked his knee again has he?

He's a top bloke Now if we're talking shites how about that Prso bloke?

Nowt wrong with Thommo - top fella - once felt my sister's arse in the queue for Ritzy's

Ricardo drives a Bentley Continental, so I know for a fact he's on more than me.

Its a bag o shite

Not at the same time I hope - could be nasty.

I know a lad who had to have one removed. The night before he got a big indelible marker and wrote "This One" on his thigh with a big arrow pointing to the offending plum. You might want to try the same but write "Do Not Remove". Good luck - still think I'd rather go without than have someone cutting up my nads. You're a braver man than me.

I think Brown would be the man. It ain't just Sam - its all the stuff he's done behind the scenes with the technology and medical side of it. If we get a new man in he's more than likely got his own ideas of how things should be done. At least Brown will have been part of setting up the backroom and more likely to keep it.

Monaco is not too far.. Back in 1990 five of us did Europe in a car with 120 quid each. We tried to kip on the beach at Nice but got moved along by the police, so we drove to Monaco half pissed along a cliff top road a ridiculous speeds with the Stone Roses blaring out full whack (very naughty but we were young) and kipped on the harbour amongst the millionaire's yachts, just near the tunnel you see on the Grand Prix. For sleeping rough though, the best place was Est Sur Mer (Ithink) half way between Monaco and Nice. There was a derelict old hotel with a private beach - had it to ourselves and some German hippies. Still had the beach showers and they still worked. I imagine its been done up now though as it was a prime spot.

I read once on another board (I think it might have been the West Ham one) that a couple of the lads on there had seen him while they were out in Korea doing this stuff on the streets. They got him to come over here and sorted him with an agent and he was kipping on their couch for a while. Of course whilst he was living woth them, they got him to turn out for their Sunday league football team - apparently he was fecking shite. True story that.

Zico - are you from Horwich? A mate of a mate also had the lovely Miss Riley. Surely she can't have struck lucky twice with two Bolton pisspots?

Who's going to argue with him though. With his dad being a vicar and him coming from the crack ridden, mean streets of downtown Cambridgeshire, he's one bad mo'fo.

Shunky - you played for Bolton?

Well done Widnes, you had me fooled.................right up to the pont when Norton Smoggie started calling us notherners,then I thought someone was playing silly buggers.

......and tell UEFA and FIFA to feck right off, time to withdraw from international games and tournaments. We didn't enter the first couple of World Cups because it was beneath us and its time to return to that way of thinking. Monkey chants, players falling over when there is no bugger near them, refs wearing white boots. REFS for fecks sake. What the feck is happening to this game? I'd rather watch pub footy than that shite.

Got to disagree - it would have to be my Uncle Jim. Lost his leg when his tank was hit at El Alemain. Always had a view on boxing. He thought Ali was "a right flash git".

I really think I'd rather go without for the rest of my days than have somebody going at my spuds with a blade.