Smiley

A letter received by the B+Q Customer Services Department Dear Sir/Madam My congratulations to you on getting a yacht to leave the UK on 28th November 2004, sail 27,354 miles around the world and arrive back 72 days later. Could you please let me know when the kitchen I ordered 96 days ago will be arriving from your warehouse only13 miles away? Yours Sincerely Steve Gallagher

sausage roll

sausage roll Not the same now. Pastie.

red ginger! You were meant to put Sausage roll. I would have followed it with "C'mon Bolton" And someone else with "score a goal" you've spoiled the entire game now! "BIG"

Anthony Rivington Barness

meat pie

"Van Zoz of Daubhill"

Sure I read someone that you went to Italy in 1990 - in a trannie van? As a 10-year-old?

Gary Speedo's

is it on at the Cornerhouse? Or that other cinema you mentioned with the private cubicles?

Just pissed my sides laughing at this. I take it you mean people from Golborne?

Dad is attacked with an iron bar Last posted: Thursday 10 February 2005 15:40 A FATHER begged two carjackers to free his children from the back seat of his car as they stood over him with a metal bar and kitchen knife. The masked men pounced as the victim was putting air in the tyres of his ??25,000 Volvo V70 T5 at a Westhoughton garage. He was hit over the head with the metal bar and left dazed on the floor. The two men then ordered him to hand over his car keys as his two children, an 11-year-old girl and a six-year-old boy, watched horrified from the back seat. They were allowed to get out of the car before it sped off from the forecourt of the Co-op petrol station, in Pavilion Square. The man, in his 30s and from Westhoughton, then staggered into the kiosk with a cut to his head to raise the alarm with staff. Det Con Alistair Hodgkinson of Bolton CID said: "This was a horrific attack on a man who had his back turned when he was attacked. The victim's children were in the car at the time and he was understandably very concerned for their safety." Police are still trying to trace the vehicle which sped on to Cricketer's Way and was seen heading towards Bolton 20 minutes later. The car is white and has a R-registered number plate. The two attackers are described as males, who were wearing dark clothing and balaclavas. Det Con Hodgkinson added: "He didn't see the two attackers coming before they knocked him to the ground and threatened him but we have a description from witnesses and we would urge anyone else who saw the incident or has any information on the whereabouts of the car to come forward." The victim was left dazed after the attack and was taken to Royal Bolton Hospital to be treated for a head wound before being released later that night. His two children were shaken but unhurt. Anyone with information is asked to contact police on 0161 856 5740 or Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555111.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manches...ter/4255489.stm Anyone who was on the first WW Sportsmans Dinner will remember this. I think she was murdered during the night - whilst a lot of us were still power drinking over at the Moat House - before moving on to the Last Orders (or Durty Nellys as it was called).

purple

fingers crossed! hopefully there'll be a Cup Final to take her to in May... as the official team mascot on the pitch - reward for her bravery.

Howard Marks?

eat

0-1. seven match winning run ended. best chance of europe will be a pre-season trip to the Isle of Man.

Anatomy Of Hell - the lead male being one Rocco Siffredi. I do believe his best work can be found in the "arty" and "pretentious" series of films titled.... "Buttman In..." "Budapest", "Rio", "Europe", "Montreal". Zoz = pervert.

good news. pity the other 89,998 are sat on their arses claiming benefit with our own homegrown smackrats.

Jay - over 1 million Eastern Europeans visited the UK last year after various countries joined the EU. 9% of them stopped!!!

unless Kev Nolan opened it by accident and snorted it in the changing rooms?

Ivan Kempo been told off as well. You'll be in detention with me on Friday afternoon.

Isn't it CIAO for now you thick red ginger? Yes it probably is. But why ask the question? You're answer should have been - "It's CIAO for now you thick boring red ginger." Anyway, I'm off for my Reiki now, before settling down to an early night with my Tony Robbins book - "Awaken the Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical, and Financial State"

are you a member of the Klan, skip?