Youri McAnespie

Are we channelling Garry Bushell (or his namesake in Viz, Garry Bushell The Bear) today?

He wasn't, some Glaswegian posted a 'well done' type post on Burnden Aces (it was seen via Google search, I wasn't on the site proper) - anyhow, he said he was in Uni at Leicester and worked in a bar, NL and Matt Elliot and Muzzy Izzet used to sup in it... He gives a glowing report but I can't be arsed finding the link.

I did think at the time ''I bet the dirty mare shats in that'' - noting how big the pot was... And then taffy slops out for her, he wants his head feeling.

I'd have a few inane questions of my own, like ''Is it true if you neck an 'E' and stick one up your arse (an 'E') at the same time they meet in the middle?'' or ''Do you sees giants Mars Bars and think you can fly when you take acid?''

That exact same bar had been used as a prop in the Kim and Aggi 'So You're a Scumfuck' programme, and they always turn the sink tap on a bit so it drips in these things, make it look shitter than it is... Unless the bog is like the one in Trainspotting, using a chamberpot like his bird was doing, is 10x more scuzzier than using a bathroom, however shabby it is... Fourteen grand it cost in all, it could've been done for four grand, easy.

Diarrhea No Brain, Barren Shady.

I watched ten minutes of the one with Dara last neet, within two minutes two people had used the term 'autocratic' - I switched off and smashed up my Amstrad emailer... Broadwater Farm (it probably is an' all).

If Shoreditch is passe, where's it at now? I reckon Whitby.

He's that little Dubstep shite, favvers 'Darleen' from Roseanne.

Perhaps if the scummy gentleman in question was to offer some silverskin pickles and crackers on the side she would.

Case in point, this seller is asking a daft price, but I bet the going rate is a good bit more than the thirty pence they cost at the time... http://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/390944677891?nav=SEARCH

Like tinned peaches, lovely!

Kids should be encouraged to buy stuff like this in bulk, they've got time on their side... Twenty years soon pass and the replica tops (or other collectibles) they bought with spare cash at sixteen or seventeen could turn out to be a nice little earner when they in their thirties, if they store the stuff well. How much are the last season tops when the club shop get rid? Buy a load, vaccuum pack them, chuck them in a cardboard box with some silica gel sachets, stick them away and forget about them, better than money in the bank?

I'm on a roll with my quackery toneet, thanks to my Junior Encyclopaedia of Medicine...

I believe it's not too clever to do this, it's seen as a foreign agent and attacked as such by the immune system. It's not met with the same reaction when a female does it, for obvious reasons.

Serotonin is produced largely in the gastro-intestinal tract, the 're-ordering' of the chain initiated by taking MDMA produces a discombobulation which in turn stimulates the need to poo, sometimes... I thought you were a man of medicine or fellow quack, Kent?

Come the revolution, anyone over thirty who uses yoof orientated words like ''chillax'', even with irony, will be sent to the Uranium mines of Snowdonia for 're-education' - ten years should suffice.

Es-Paradis (or somewhere else if that isn't going anymore): A mate once gave a lecture (to adults btw) after popping an E to give themself a bit of confidence, it didn't go well.

What if you're 'coming up' on Ecstasy and caught short with the need for an E-Dump?

You feel a bit of a twat when you leave if there's a real disabled person (as opposed to pretend or slightly - delete as applicable) waiting to use it, especially if they're in a chair. I always take a pair of shinnies out with me, I don them before using the disabled bogs, then, when I leave, if there's a disabled person waiting and giving me a filthy look (the wrong kind of filthy look) I give them an aggrieved ''I am disabled!'' and rap my knuckles on one of the concealed shinnies.

I did note he wasn't exactly a catch himself, and welsh to boot... But she still favvered his mam. Neither of them should've been nitpicking over trivial stuff tbh, she should've been glad she had someone/something other than a cat and him that he wasn't reduced to hiring scrubbers by the half-hour.

Eight grand for that plywood one, I wonder if he'd be interested in some magic beans? Looked like a 'city' type an' all, no wonder we had an economic crash... I only tuned in after reading the synopsis on the telly guide, I wanted to see the situation with the heartless, superficial wench who was going to give her bloke the flick 'cause his kitchen and bathroom were a bit shabby - well love, perhaps he'll upgrade to a better looking bird now his house isn't such a shithole - I notice they didn't film in her gaff when they decamped there when the work was being done to his.

Blokes who live alone should live in a unplastered shell of a house,with an armchair to sit in and a milk crate to put their can on... Anything else is the lifestyle and action of a la-di-da and brainwashed castrate.

Why not highlight something positive instead of dogfucking, why not this touching story of the descendant of a slave trader asking for forgiveness? It's been highlighted on here before to an appreciative audience... 'My ancestor traded in human misery' http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/5105328.stm

Oh aye, I missed that 'un. I'd go for a pit of starved hyenas, after being smeared in Shippams Beef Paste and a chub of 'Goodfeast' dogfood rammed up his rectum. ('joke')