barryk32

Right, There I am Saturday morning happily having a good rummage round my ear with a cotton bud but when I pull it out the cotton bit is missing. Our Peg looks and can't see it. You'll have to go to the hospital to have them take it out she says! Will I fook I think to myself so I get another cotton bud and attempt to use it to hook the original one out........ This doesn't work. Our Peg pipes up again with You'll have to go to the hospital to have them take it out, Will I fook I thinks, when I jump in the bath later I'll pour water down there and wash it out!!!!! Genius.......... This doesn't work. Sunday morning our Peg again gives it the old hospital line again, S'all right I think, as I'm clever as fook I've gone and got myself some dead long tweezers that'll do the trick...... It doesn't. Today, I get myself down to the hospital, the Dr looks at my notes and she says 'ah, a nice simple one', gets her torch thing and looks down my ear. She looks puzzled, 'I cant see anything' she tells me. I tell her its definitely there as I can feel it. She pops open her draw and gets a much longer torch thing and has another nosy. 'My god she says, have you been trying to get it yourself' She asks. 'Erm..... sort of yeah' I tell her. She then picks the phone up and requests an Ears, nose and throat specialist. This doesn't sound to clever does it. Anyway, after a short period this bloke comes in, picks up the torch thing, has a look then says yes you are right, there's no way we are getting that, its resting on the drum. He turns to me, tells me not to have anything to eat after 9.00pm tonight as they will ring in the morning as soon as there is a slot in surgery. If I had gone to A&E saturday I would have been in 10 minutes and they would have used tweezers to remove it. As I have spent a full two days pushing it further and further down my lughole I'm now having what they described as 'emergency surgery' What a fucking cockend I am!!!

I liked that bit aswell. It went something like. Muslim Bloke : Why do you think Islam is a wicked and vicious faith. NG : Because you treat women as second class citizens, it believes a rape victim should be stoned to death for adultery and it also says all none beleivers should be murdered. MB : Erm..... er...... ok. (in fact its Here

Tis at the garage in the morning. Edit : I think I need to swap it for a people carrier now anyroad don't I

Thats always in the back of my mind Michael. You are now however perfectly normal in comparison to superjohnmcginlay fooking concoction.

For me its two slices of Warbies Toasty Loaf, thickly buttered, one packet of Walkers Salt and Vinegar then squashed as you would with a fish finger butty. Belting.

That's 10 laugh-inspiring, dishwasher-safe Turd Twisters. Dishwasher fooking safe!!!!

Sorry for the lateness of this message but just got back from the Dr's and upon medical advise, iamnowout.

http://www.adobe.com/products/flashplayer/ or as its you Flash

One footed, studs down, took the ball. Kev does this every other week. Infact if the tackle was by SKD there would be a five page thread about how fantastic it was.

Am I allowed to put that there are much better ways than boxes with cards? Email/pm me.

Cracking set of norks

See NB, I told you!

You may say I'm cynical, but I say man is flawed. He has a vague memory of life before some fall. Behaving like a reptile, but talks of walking tall. If God is in his image, the almighty must be small. God only knows. Swaggart has been caught 'with his trousers round his knees' After damning me and you to hell for eternity. Sex and power and money is the prayer of these priests, they bribe their way past Heaven's Gates and steal a set of keys. God only knows. My guru has been sleeping with adepts and with sheep while I was fucking selibate, self-righteous in belief. Yesterday he was God, now he is a creep. We fell upon each other, starving for relief. God only knows.

But that would have made me a fat cunt...... oh, hang on.

Right. I popped into Asda to get the devil child Titch something for tea. Whilst I was there I thought, "I fancy a curry for tea" so went over to the curry counter and asked for a meal for one. The bird behind the counter points out an offer of meal for 2 which is reduced from ?6.50 to ?4.00, only 50p more than the meal for one. "I'll have some of that" I thinks to myself and gets 2 meals. Half way round I look at my curry bag and notice it says ?6.50, that's not right. Back to the curry counter I go to point out the mistake. Now.. They then explain to me that the offer is on either 2 Indian meals or 2 Chinese meals, as I got one of each I don't qualify and have to pay the full price. I weigh up my options and I have 3. Leave my curry bag with them, open my curry bag and play some Neg's Urban Sports (If you dont know what that is google it) but both of these would leave me without my tea for today and tomorrow, so I choose option 3. Order 3 quids worth of samosa's, onion bharjis, sheesh kebabs etc walk away and then put them in with my curry. The bird on the checkout swipes my curry bag and I pay ?6.50 for the lot. So, am I :- 1. A common thief or 2. A Justice fighter.

I would imagine so.

Says you are single on FB. I was going to offer you a good bumming aswell!

'Imagine your in a field' 'am up to ma knees in fuckin cow pat'

This may wind some folk up but................ Andy (D's mate) has turned up week in week out recently. Although he is nowt to do with WW's, I'd say heisin. ps, iamin.

So, he's done exactly as I said he would?

The land between the trenches was patrolled by the deaf and the blind The blind were shouting ?listen!? While the deaf said ?can?t you see? ? There?s centuries of fighting so I brought myself a gun The salesman called it ?freedom? so my enemy bought a bigger one Everybody wants to be happy Everybody wants more money Everybody wants more loving Everybody wants the same thing

He's not my mate, tell him I'll give him 25.00

As its now 75 minutes to kickoff. Andy and Anthony are in!. Piss poor, yet again.

It appears to work fine in IE and not in Firefox. Does anyone have an address for Firefox for the previously mentioned shit. Perhaps Freddie Hill could help out.

Why didn't you just help it round the ubend with the bog brush? As its to late now, no dont admit it. Just drop subtle hints around the dining table etc but when they ask just deny it.