July 1, 200818 yr Author Superbobby, I see what you did there! :::::: Smart bit of kit. First time I've used it, took just 40 minutes to learn and then pass weapon handling test yesterday such is its simplicity. Rate of fire on the f?cker too is frittnin. And most importantly of all, it looks cool.
July 1, 200818 yr You know that if you ever needed to borrow say, I don't know, a 14 tonne excavator then I'd help you out. Well........ There's this cat that keeps shittin on the front garden. Tonight, whilst stood at the front door talking to the next door but one neighbour, the dog wandered out, sniffed said shit, and then ate it. Dirty fcuker. So, I need something to illiminate the cat with. I only need a few hours one night. So, errr, any chance......one weekend when you're next up maybe.
July 1, 200818 yr So, I need something to illiminate the cat with. I only need a few hours one night. Would i be right in guessing your shooting skills aren't reet good?
July 1, 200818 yr No, I'd just want to torture the flea ridden bastard aye and then sort out the sod down here who taunts next doors dog. middle of the feckin night you'll hear the bastard start yapping its head off and going rabid - turns out next door know what it is that causes it - a cat from down the way jumps into the garden and parades in front of the conservatory glass, safe in the knowledge that the poor bloody dog can't get at it. Now the cat is smart enough to remember this fact and so do it every night; the dog is thick enough to forget it 24 hours later, so every night it falls for it and goes hell for leather smashing its yed into the glass. Daft ćunt. So what I want, if you don't mind, is for the dog and the cat to be silenced. But then there's next doors fookin wind chimes. So maybe shoot them (the chimes, not next door - he's a Leicester ST holder and so I want him alive, to laugh at).
July 1, 200818 yr Sneak round one night and remove a pane of glass from the conservatory. The cat will come as usual and the dog'll kill the cat.
July 1, 200818 yr Sneak round one night and remove a pane of glass from the conservatory.The cat will come as usual and the dog'll kill the cat. I'd pay fookin good money to see that errr....ahem...not that I'm a cat hater you understand....just this one
July 2, 200818 yr Sneak round one night and remove a pane of glass from the conservatory.The cat will come as usual and the dog'll kill the cat. How long did it take for you to think that up? If it was only a few minutes then I am starting to worry how your mind works.
July 2, 200818 yr No, I'd just want to torture the flea ridden bastard Hose it. Soaking wet once and the buggers never come back.
July 2, 200818 yr The idea was pretty instantaneous, but I forgot to mention that you'd need to replace the pane very loosely so the cat still thinks there's glass there. If it's a UPVC conservatory, it's usually quite easy to pop the panes out.
July 2, 200818 yr place a saucer of milk outside, and wire it up to the mains. not only job done, but an entertaining display for the family to enjoy. you can even place bets on to where it will land
July 2, 200818 yr So, I need something to illiminate the cat with. I only need a few hours one night. What's happened to Honky?
July 2, 200818 yr How long did it take for you to think that up? If it was only a few minutes then I am starting to worry how your mind works. it works every time in tom and jerry.
July 2, 200818 yr aye and then sort out the sod down here who taunts next doors dog. middle of the feckin night you'll hear the bastard start yapping its head off and going rabid - turns out next door know what it is that causes it - a cat from down the way jumps into the garden and parades in front of the conservatory glass, safe in the knowledge that the poor bloody dog can't get at it. Now the cat is smart enough to remember this fact and so do it every night; the dog is thick enough to forget it 24 hours later, so every night it falls for it and goes hell for leather smashing its yed into the glass. Daft ćunt.So what I want, if you don't mind, is for the dog and the cat to be silenced. But then there's next doors fookin wind chimes. So maybe shoot them (the chimes, not next door - he's a Leicester ST holder and so I want him alive, to laugh at). maybe you could introduce people down there to the concept of curtains. (avoiding the obvious 'pull yourself together' gag)
July 2, 200818 yr You know that if you ever needed to borrow say, I don't know, a 14 tonne excavator then I'd help you out. Well........ There's this cat that keeps shittin on the front garden. Tonight, whilst stood at the front door talking to the next door but one neighbour, the dog wandered out, sniffed said shit, and then ate it. Dirty fcuker. So, I need something to illiminate the cat with. I only need a few hours one night. So, errr, any chance......one weekend when you're next up maybe. so you need a torch and shotgun combined ?
July 2, 200818 yr maybe you could introduce people down there to the concept of curtains.(avoiding the obvious 'pull yourself together' gag) I wonder what the men of the East Midlands wipe their owd fella on then?
July 2, 200818 yr THIS: and THIS: Certainly beats grafting for a living. The dog bollox of all weapons!!!! it gives soldiers hard ons!!!
July 2, 200818 yr The dog bollox of all weapons!!!! it gives soldiers hard ons!!! Really? Us civilians prefer women, but each to their own, I guess.
July 2, 200818 yr does that not get really embarassing when youre just on exercises and stuff? i saw a squaddie waving one of those bastards at me, i dont think i'd be getting a lob on
THIS:
and THIS:
Certainly beats grafting for a living.