it's only ibruprofen and if it helps his back pain it may help Fb's. he did say if it doesn't help go see your GP.

 

 

To you, it's only ibuprofen. Some folk are allergic. Not being a stiff or owt, but Carlos does make a valid point.

edit: Bugger, Carlos pre-empted my point.

Edited March 31, 200917 yr by no balls

Have you tried smoking crack to relieve the pain.

 

Apparently it works, but be careful: it's very more-ish.

Anyone asking for medical advice on here rather than using nhsdirect must already be on crack Traf.

Anyone asking for medical advice on here rather than using nhsdirect must already be on crack Traf.

 

I've checked nhsdirect and they've no suggestions as to how I can safely remove the chocolate eclair thats stuck up my bottom without loosing any cream (I accidently fell on it when I was hoovering naked)

 

And I know for a fact they'll be plenty on here who can give me advice

 

So, how do I get it out and is licking the melted chocolate too risky?

Edited March 31, 200917 yr by Widnes Two Hats

Carefully insert the hoover nozzle up your arse (but around the eclair) and turn hoover on full.

 

This will remove the aforementioned eclair.

I've got my cock stuck in the CD drawer on the computer. Again. But I didnt seek help off here.

I wouldn't come on here seeking advice about how to remove the crust formed by wrapping an entire pigs liver round my crown jewel for 10 minutes would I?

Depends if the liver is still in the pig

Carefully insert the hoover nozzle up your arse (but around the eclair) and turn hoover on full.

 

This will remove the aforementioned eclair.

 

Ahhhh

 

That was the second question

 

How do I get henry hoover's nose off my John Thomas (It accidently shot onto it when I jumped up in surprise at the eclair torpedoing my gadget shop)

Ahhhh

 

That was the second question

 

How do I get henry hoover's nose off my John Thomas (It accidently shot onto it when I jumped up in surprise at the eclair torpedoing my gadget shop)

 

Have you tried rubbing warm butter around the end of the nozzle and twisting it round gently to free it?

 

That's what my mate recommends.

And before you all start

 

No, I wasn't attempting to simulate a Lucky Pierre

I read somewhere that fondant fancies are the worst because the marzipan has a tendency to gum your chute up. These need to be dealt with swiftly.

 

You need the garden hose to clear marzipan my mate in the pub said.

My solution involves easing a used kitchen roll up your bottom and sending a trained hamster up there, via the tube.

My solution involves easing a used kitchen roll up your bottom and sending a trained hamster up there, via the tube.

No wounder you've got asthma ( kitchen rolls up your ass)

No wounder you've got asthma ( kitchen rolls up your ass)

 

It's the hamster hairs that set me off.

It's the hamster hairs that set me off.

Oh sorry i thought it was the kitchen roll.

No wounder you've got asthma ( kitchen rolls up your ass)

 

 

Devon, are you seriously trying to say you've never shoved a kitchen/toilet roll up your back end?

Ok i get it, well its not true the rumour about me and the hamster, its lies, lies i tell yer

Devon, are you seriously trying to say you've never shoved a kitchen/toilet roll up your back end?

Not that i can recall my good lady.

Ok i get it, well its not true the rumour about me and the hamster, its lies, lies i tell yer

 

Was it a gerbil?

I heard it was a ferret.

Now, I know you seem to think that you know everything about everything but giving out medical advice!!! I'm sorry but that is just plain dangerous. Think about it.

 

What is it with you Carlos that every time I try to offer any advice to anyone you jump on me from a great height?

 

Ibuprofen is an over the counter medication - It even lists on the box that one of the things you use it for is backache!

 

It also states on the box not to use if you are allergic to Ibuprofen!

 

If you don't know if you're allergic or not would you take one without seeking medical advice? Only an idiot would and although I don't know fb personally he does not seem to be without more than a modicum of sense based solely on what he posts on here - or are you suggesting he is actually a numpty?

 

Also printed on the box are instructions to see your doctor if you suffer from a list of complaints including Asthma!

 

Once you actually open the box there is a very detailed 'Patient Information Leaflet', which gives you even more advice on the do's and don?ts of Ibuprofen usage!

 

Do you really think the Boots Chemists of this world would actually let someone buy an over the counter medicine that would actually be 'dangerous' to their health?

 

In your own words - "think about it".

 

 

Yes I have proffered advice on a number of subjects in the past - but in every case I have had previous personal involvement in similar things happening to me.

 

I never wanted to have backache - but I have had over the years - and I have simply passed on a common cure for it - indeed Widnes mentioned ibuprofen medication even before I posted!

 

So I'm very sorry that amongst other things I have been made redundant, that I run my own business, that I have instigated court action in the small claims court, that I have dealt with my credit card company regarding purchases under ?100, etc, etc, - but I have - and all I've ever tried to do on here is to share with people what knowledge that I have learned through these experiences in order to help them.

 

Perhaps I should have posted something witty like you and suggested to fb that he stick things up his bottom - or about having a 'hunch' - but no I tried to help instead.

 

My fault - I'll let people suffer in future - just in case I upset you by posting something that might actually be of help to them!

What is it with you Carlos that every time I try to offer any advice to anyone you jump on me from a great height?

 

Ibuprofen is an over the counter medication - It even lists on the box that one of the things you use it for is backache!

 

It also states on the box not to use if you are allergic to Ibuprofen!

 

If you don't know if you're allergic or not would you take one without seeking medical advice? Only an idiot would and although I don't know fb personally he does not seem to be without more than a modicum of sense based solely on what he posts on here - or are you suggesting he is actually a numpty?

 

Also printed on the box are instructions to see your doctor if you suffer from a list of complaints including Asthma!

 

Once you actually open the box there is a very detailed 'Patient Information Leaflet', which gives you even more advice on the do's and don?ts of Ibuprofen usage!

 

Do you really think the Boots Chemists of this world would actually let someone buy an over the counter medicine that would actually be 'dangerous' to their health?

 

In your own words - "think about it".

 

 

Yes I have proffered advice on a number of subjects in the past - but in every case I have had previous personal involvement in similar things happening to me.

 

I never wanted to have backache - but I have had over the years - and I have simply passed on a common cure for it - indeed Widnes mentioned ibuprofen medication even before I posted!

 

So I'm very sorry that amongst other things I have been made redundant, that I run my own business, that I have instigated court action in the small claims court, that I have dealt with my credit card company regarding purchases under ?100, etc, etc, - but I have - and all I've ever tried to do on here is to share with people what knowledge that I have learned through these experiences in order to help them.

 

Perhaps I should have posted something witty like you and suggested to fb that he stick things up his bottom - or about having a 'hunch' - but no I tried to help instead.

 

My fault - I'll let people suffer in future - just in case I upset you by posting something that might actually be of help to them!

 

I bought some nuts the other day and on the packet it said "May contain nuts"

Was it a gerbil?

 

And thats lies i tell yer, lies !

What is it with you Carlos that every time I try to offer any advice to anyone you jump on me from a great height?

 

Ibuprofen is an over the counter medication - It even lists on the box that one of the things you use it for is backache!

 

It also states on the box not to use if you are allergic to Ibuprofen!

 

If you don't know if you're allergic or not would you take one without seeking medical advice? Only an idiot would and although I don't know fb personally he does not seem to be without more than a modicum of sense based solely on what he posts on here - or are you suggesting he is actually a numpty?

 

Also printed on the box are instructions to see your doctor if you suffer from a list of complaints including Asthma!

 

Once you actually open the box there is a very detailed 'Patient Information Leaflet', which gives you even more advice on the do's and don?ts of Ibuprofen usage!

 

Do you really think the Boots Chemists of this world would actually let someone buy an over the counter medicine that would actually be 'dangerous' to their health?

 

In your own words - "think about it".

 

 

Yes I have proffered advice on a number of subjects in the past - but in every case I have had previous personal involvement in similar things happening to me.

 

I never wanted to have backache - but I have had over the years - and I have simply passed on a common cure for it - indeed Widnes mentioned ibuprofen medication even before I posted!

 

So I'm very sorry that amongst other things I have been made redundant, that I run my own business, that I have instigated court action in the small claims court, that I have dealt with my credit card company regarding purchases under ?100, etc, etc, - but I have - and all I've ever tried to do on here is to share with people what knowledge that I have learned through these experiences in order to help them.

 

Perhaps I should have posted something witty like you and suggested to fb that he stick things up his bottom - or about having a 'hunch' - but no I tried to help instead.

 

My fault - I'll let people suffer in future - just in case I upset you by posting something that might actually be of help to them!

 

Battle of the know-it-alls, pull up a seat and get your popcorn ready