Office politics...

 

What sort of animal leaves shit marks all over a toilet, full of paper and piss?

 

Theres only 7 men in a shared block of offices and I've just played holy cunt. Clearly nobody has owned up but its happened 3 or 4 times over the last week or two.

 

The landlord put up a polite notice ages ago saying 'please leave the toilets clean'.

 

Theres a new one saying 'whichever filthy animal is leaving shit on the pan, stop it now'. Decorum isnt my strong point sometimes.

 

Filthy bastards.

 

Stinks to high heaven too. And its on the trap I use for my regular 8:07am dump. Have to move to another one now, can't be doing my biz in there.

 

Given its stinks rotten, I'm narrowing it down to 3 people.

Dirty bastards, this happened in my works once when I was on nights. Who the hell leaves big skid marks down the pan and doesn't flush properly?! I will tell you who filthy fuckers that's who

Mate of mine used to work in the offices at United Utilities. A memo had to be sent round asking whoever was responsible to stop wiping their crows on the sides of the cubicles.

I'm really enjoying my lunch.

I'm really enjoying my lunch.

 

It fucking stank rancid too.

 

I think I just sickened myself

For fucks sake im eating

For fucks sake im eating

 

If I have to put up with the smell of rancid shit in my nose, then I think its only fair I share the experience.

 

Looks like a lager drinker who's eaten after a sesh, you can tell with the colour of the piss and shit.

I've not bothered with my minestrone soup.

bet thats in the ladys to they dirty bastards

For fucks sake im eating

 

You should be used to the sight of it, what with having to empty your chemical toilet regularly?

bet thats in the ladys to they dirty bastards

 

You're going to tell us a tale of a woman doing that all over you soon, arnt you?

Whoa...............Glad I've finished my lunch!!

 

Is there a setting on here for no images?!

My scotch broth went down the drain... I just about handled the lemon party pic... But that was a step over the mark

 

 

Edit:

 

If you find the culprit... No reprimand... No warning a straight red card offence

Edited April 22, 201313 yr by jazza

It fucking stank rancid too.

 

 

The Macedonian Border turd was worse.

If you work in Stratford then guilty your honour

 

avoid trap 2 at all costs

I feel very sorry for Smiffs apprentice...who has been tasked with cleaning said bog

 

Edited April 22, 201313 yr by CWP

Upon inspection, Smiffs' picture indicates a combination of type 5 and 6 I reckon.

 

^{Whoever took that photo dealt it.}

^{Either that or the crime was worserer as there is no evidence of wiping.}

Whoever took that photo dealt it.

Either that or the crime was worserer as there is no evidence of wiping.

 

I reckon it's more common than you think.

 

Last year I was having a dump at work and someone came into the trap next to me (poor etiquette btw), plonked himself down and no sooner had he parked his cheeks, there was a massive splattering evacuation - it sounded hideous. A couple more grunts and splurts and the toilet was flushed, his keks were up and he'd gone. No wiping, no hand washing, nowt. In and out in under 45 seconds I reckon.

 

 

Animal.

im a type 6 90% of the time

That certainly isn't a ghosty!

 

A ghosty is one that you sit down... pass the necessary and upon wiping your arse there is no residue on the toilet paper and when you stand up, said turd has disappeared round the U bend as if it never existed

 

 

That fucker above would need half a bog roll to clean the debris that must've been plastered all over the cunts arse and maybe even his bawbag

 

 

Dirty dirty bastard

I had some red wine on Thursday night. Now, the day after red wine my stools are often a very dark brown. On Friday I had what can only be described as a rather unsubstantial sit-down.

 

Now, this is where it gets intriguing. On Saturday morning I was awake bright and early and passed my matter as usual. Now, as I turned to flush I noticed that the log that was looking at me was half dark brown and half mid/light brown ... like a sinister and poor effort of a Zoom ice-lolly.

 

How is that even possible?

If we''re going into personal details, mine on Sunday after a curry was a bright orange to yellow mess