St Georges Day

[Sweep]

On 25/03/2021 at 06:57, embankment said:

24th March today.

The day the media are frightened of celebrating. 

It is our proud to be English day.

If my new flag had been delivered on time it would have been fluttering proudly above the new shed. A few years ago

Saxon released a live album recorded at The Ritz on this day.

Witnessed by my self and Ashburner St Market and Sputnik Stan.

We spent the afternoon in the Old Monkey and The Circus.  Surrounded by guys who had been to the St Georges day lunch at the Midland Hotel.

I for one will be raising a glass of traditional English stout Ale this evening. 

Whilst we're bringing up historic St Georges Day posts, let's not forget this beauty from earlier this year......March 24th, the day the Media are frightened to celebrate 🙂

 

Maybe the Mods can merge them...

[Rudy]

Belter this Sweep

[Spider]

On 25/03/2021 at 12:21, Traf said:

St Down

I missed this absolute gem the first time round.

Bravo, sir!

[Youri McAnespie]

These days they throw you in prison for eating trifle on a beach towel, these days.

We have to celebrate the prophet Muhammad's birthday (pbuh) lest we get thrown in jail, these days.

[Spider]

2 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

These days they throw you in prison for eating trifle on a beach towel, these days.

We have to celebrate the prophet Muhammad's birthday (pbuh) lest we get thrown in jail, these days.

I’ve started double parking outside every mosque I drive past, just to make sure Muhammad knows I’m thinking about him and his lustrous beard. Not Jesus, with his hippy straggler beard. I like something I can pout whilst I’m being fingered. Inshallah.

[Youri McAnespie]

8 minutes ago, Spider said:

I’ve started double parking outside every mosque I drive past, just to make sure Muhammad knows I’m thinking about him and his lustrous beard. Not Jesus, with his hippy straggler beard. I like something I can pout whilst I’m being fingered. Inshallah.

He wasn't a nonce either - the prophet (saw) he just hung around until his missus was of age.

I reckon' Jesus was a bender (nowt up with it like) hanging around with 12 other dicks.

And no evidence he nobbed Mary Magazine or whatever.

Nine bob note Imo.

We will fish for men.

Where, in some public bogs in Nazareth?

Edited December 14, 2021 by Youri McAnespie

[Spider]

1 minute ago, Youri McAnespie said:

He wasn't a nonce either - the prophet (saw) he just hung around until his missus was of age.

I reckon' Jesus was a bender (nowt up with it like) hanging around with 12 other dicks.

And no evidence he nobbed Mary Magazine or whatever.

Nine bob note Imo.

I think Jesus was built like Action Man in the underpants region.

The son of god has no need for an appendage of any sort when he can turn water into wine. He could dish out orgasms like confetti whenever he felt the need.

He would make a WMD sized penis appear whenever he went for a piss though, just to remind the disciples who was boss.

[Rudy]

1 minute ago, Youri McAnespie said:

He wasn't a nonce either - the prophet (saw) he just hung around until his missus was of age.

I reckon' Jesus was a bender (nowt up with it like) hanging around with 12 other dicks.

And no evidence he nobbed Mary Magazine or whatever.

Nine bob note Imo.

Think you’re right I mean look at this

 

Moments before a Game of soggy biscuit broke out

FACT

[Youri McAnespie]

Just now, Spider said:

I think Jesus was built like Action Man in the underpants region.

The son of god has no need for an appendage of any sort when he can turn water into wine. He could dish out orgasms like confetti whenever he felt the need.

He would make a WMD sized penis appear whenever he went for a piss though, just to remind the disciples who was boss.

Nah, wicketkeeper not bowler.

Judas bummed him in the garden of Eden didn't he then the pigs cut his ear off or sommat - it's in the Bible.

[Youri McAnespie]

3 minutes ago, Rudy said:

Think you’re right I mean look at this

 

Moments before a Game of soggy biscuit broke out

FACT

They wanked each other off 'for a laugh' - the Vatican burned that follow up painting. Destroyed the evidence that Jesus was the Louis Spence of 100ad or whatever.

Edited December 14, 2021 by Youri McAnespie

[Sweep]

Just now, Youri McAnespie said:

They wanked each other off 'for a laugh' - the Vatican burned that painting. Destroyed the evidence that Jesus was the Louis Spence of 100ad or whatever.

didn't he covet his neighbours arse as well

[Youri McAnespie]

He did - and he jizzed in some wine at a gay wedding where everyone was caned - it's all in the Koran.

[Spider]

Lot of folk just wandering about without meaningful employment in them days.

Led to a wide range of crackpotism.

Things haven’t changed much.

[Youri McAnespie]

Joaquin Phoenix didn't even diddle his missus Mary Madelaine - conclusive proof he preferred the company of men - especially him out of '12 Years a Slave'*.

He'd bum him - at night.

What a pufter (nowt wrong with it).

* Peter.

Edited December 14, 2021 by Youri McAnespie

[Traf]

42 minutes ago, Spider said:

I missed this absolute gem the first time round.

Bravo, sir!

I told you I can do subtle, too 😉 

[Spider]

11 minutes ago, Traf said:

I told you I can do subtle, too 😉 

Bit rapey

[Traf]

4 minutes ago, Spider said:

Bit rapey

I can be 😉

[stevieb]

40 minutes ago, Rudy said:

Think you’re right I mean look at this

 

Moments before a Game of soggy biscuit broke out

FACT

How long are the big man's toes

[Youri McAnespie]

1 minute ago, stevieb said:

How long are the big man's toes

That's his udders.

[Dimron]

No peas

[Youri McAnespie]

7 minutes ago, Dimron said:

No peas

Last Supper? A few bits of chapati?

I'd have a mixed kebab from Charcoal Pit, a chicken and mushroom Pot Noodle on Warbies, a fish barm, a can of vindaloo, three Mr Freeze Ice Pops (cola, raspberry and lemonade) and a whole box of After Eights.

And a Seekh Kebab sandwich.

[Sweep]

13 minutes ago, Dimron said:

No peas

That's why he's got his hands outspread, he's saying "where are the peas"  - and often, he could be heard saying "May peas be with you"

[Sweep]

Just now, Youri McAnespie said:

Last Supper? A few bits of chapati?

I'd have a mixed kebab from Charcoal Pit, a chicken and mushroom Pot Noodle on Warbies, a fish barm, a can of vindaloo, three Mr Freeze Ice Pops (cola, raspberry and lemonade) and a whole box of After Eights.

And a Seekh Kebab sandwich.

and a tin of brasso supped through a slice of bread?

[Youri McAnespie]

1 minute ago, Sweep said:

and a tin of brasso supped through a slice of bread?

Turps and liver salts.

[Youri McAnespie]

They'd rue the day they executed me when I shat my pantaloons after my feast of crap before.