Astonishing Undercrackers

No I don't care to go back through a little history, thanks. You absolute tit!

So, blokes aren't allowed to dance are they? Least not without your prior approval? However, it's fine for you to perv at girls that are under the age of legal consent? Have a word with yourselves you knuckle dragging imbeciles!

Cock on. Good post. No-one knew!

Blimey! Cheers, Fella. Thank you so very, very much.

I was working in Flanders the other week and when time allowed I visited the New British Cemetery in Ypres hoping to find the grave of my Great Grandfather. Alas, I drew a blank. If anyone can help me locate the grave of a Peter Blundell from Haydock, I'd be more than appreciative.

I think that they're quite poor, missen. Very Eighties.

Isn't it Tonge?

Saw 'em ragging years ago mate, and have Matlock's autobiography personally signed. Hardly 'punk' in the MEN Arena, is it? Enjoy!

Any signs of the usually excessive, premature yuletide incandescence from that scutter at the top of Turton Street yet?

Rummenigge / Rumour about Garth Crooks. Have I got the hang of it?

Rumbled!!!!

...

Good speech. We used to line the Airbomb Repeaters up on a bit of spare land at the back of The Carter's on Belmont Rd and let Su's Chippy 'ave it!

Puff! Softy wanky Walter.

That is for sure the cutest bunny in the history of cute bunnies!

Ah, right.

How come? Has your ball burst?

A few scoops at the Festival then off to the Roundhouse for Indie 30s.

Hi. I'm new round here. What the Billy Bitherings are you on about?

Err, from my experience, dumping the Mrs. acquires both!

Guilty as charged, Millud! I saw The Blockheads play the small room downstairs earlier in the year and they were without doubt musically one of the tightest band that I've ever seen/heard. The problem is, of course, that whilst the accoustics downstairs are fantastic you can't really get many in!

Oh, I'll look out for that. Cheers. I've seen them a few times - post Cornwell (and once with) and it's always a good gig.

It's just a decoy whilst I'm knocking the back out of your Mrs, mate.

?20.00? Blimey. Imagine that! There's more down the back of my ragging sofa!

You'll need your house piling, mate. It's clearly built on a mineshaft into which it's slowly sinking. You don't live on that new estate on the other side of the road from the Shell station near the Hunger Hill Tavern do you?