Astonishing Undercrackers

Haha. Thank-you, kind Sir.

I don't understand some of the acrimony being displayed on here. It's quite simple. If you like watching original live bands play in a dickhead free environment whilst drinking decent ale then, like me, you'll be gutted if they have to knock the place down. To the best of my knowledge nobody ever forced anyone in there at gunpoint.

Bonfire Night seems to have somehow transgressed from the splendid celebration of the ritual burning of a traitorous Catholic into some or other excuse for anti-social behaviour!

The best way to get rid of them quicksticks is to start potting individual panels on their caravans with an air rifle. True fact and boney fido!

Now there's an oxymoron for you!

It's a special ingredient that they add to such stuff that's specifically designed to have an adverse effect on men when drinking teenage girl's drinks. He has a woman's drink, M'Lord! Get some fucking ale down your neck!

What was that clear cola called that someone fetched out a while back? Anyhow, back to yon Pikey twat. Why didn't someone nick his doubtlessly pilfered can of The Real Thing, pop a couple of Mentos in it, give it a shake, hand it back to the Pikey, step back and enjoy? Then, just as he?s wondering as to how he?s become caked in sticky pop, stick a tyre over his head, douse him in petrol, ignite and voila! A right old result, I'm sure you'd agree!

You haven't considered handing it back to the sap that bought it for you then?

I joined this site just to encourage Casino to accept himself for what he is! You mustn't blame yourself, I know how you feel, and how difficult it is. And that's why you mustn't hold back, ruin yourself as I nearly did over Eric Snookes. Give in to it. It's the Lifeline Society's crime, not ours.

Then you are six months old. Nice command of the language though!

Hibs? Haha. It may as well be against Eagley PJP. So, basically, what's happening is that we're calling one of the pre-season frendlies 'Jussi's Testimonial'? Hardly Peter Thompson's testimonial type stuff is it? And quite right too. Why should we Quid up a guy that's already got more than he can spend?

Le Partington's Cycles.

Terry Hall couldn't hold a tune in a bucket.

Isn't there some talk about her being a Hermaphrodite? That'd be quality. She could jizz up on her own tits. Marvellous stuff.

Len Fairclough!

I don't know if any of you have been to the Laurel & Hardy Museum in Ulverston, but it has to go down as being one of life's more crushing disappointments. An absolutely dreadful paste and paper affair. Anyhow, A Chump At Oxford is my particular fave.

Sweets and toiletries!

But will you? I thought that I'd miss Burnden. Do I really miss the antiquated shithole and having to stand in piss to have a piss? No! What I do miss is watching Peter Thompson leave an entire defence on their arses, Barry Siddall doing his monkey thing on the near post, Frank Worthington doing everything that he did. I certainly don't miss having away fans rain wooden seats down onto our heads in the Burnden Paddock but I do miss seeing Tony Caldwell slotting them away for fun. More than anything I really miss the guys that me and my mates only actually knew because we'd always stand together on the Paddock and of course we just never saw each other again once we'd moved. One thing that moving to The Reebok taught me, a real lesson for life, was that it's not the places that we miss, it is however, the times of our lives and the people that we shared them with!

Stupid bastard. Do you honestly think that that's funny/clever?

Did you play golf? They have a PGA Championship course there. I would hope that you did, even if you're bobbins!

Surely there can't be many people that walk around in a massive Bacofoil coat (well, Gary Glitter would but these victims are hardly on his age radar). Also, I think that the scuzzy trout in picture 2 is the same as in picture 4.

That'd probably cause something of a dilema for Jewish contributors!

Should you feel the need, then I shall meet up with you and knock the ragging bejeezus out of you. How does that sound?

There's blood in my underwear I don't know how I got it there I swear I'd bust open my head, should I fall.