Youri McAnespie

Move to a village in Austria, teach them bestiality from an early age and make sure they do well in the sciences before guiding them toward studying medicine.

Or, No 'mummytolittleangel' Balls.

They clearly haven't thought that through much, tried to access the full playback of USA-Portugal and had no choice but to navigate a page summarizing the match with a massive, unmissable scoreline tab. Shite, clearly gimps who know fuck all designed that... You can't ''look away now'' when you're operating the cursor ffs.

Have the BBC games been on i-player? I'm watching the Mexico - Croatia live. On ITV4 then the second half of Brazil on ITV+1 toneet, but it's the BBCs turn tomorrow... I'm a shit telly, freeview only non-peasant.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, aren't you on Facebook, Nb? It's fundamental to humanity - movers and shakers and history makers like Hitler, Shipman and Fred West don't just fall out of the sky y'know.

I wonder how many of these Republican crusty 'rather have a head of state elected' types fucking fawn head over heels for the Dalai Lama. Probably all of them.

I'd rather be in Podgorica for a meaningless qualifier against Montenegro to be honest, completely overrated being at the birth, felt like a complete berk and spare wheel - anticlimax of the decade, all that hanging around for an angry-faced thing that favvered a little downy fur covered monkey (the baby wasn't much better either)

It's true, it happened so frequently he even got a stock letter mimeographed up... ''DEER SVEN/STEVE/FABIO, PLEASE EXCUSE .............. FROM GAMES THIS WEEK, HE HAS HAD A BAD TUMMIE AND ALSO MY DOGE ROSIE HAS CHEWED A HOLE IN HIS BOOTS SO HE COULDENT PLAY ANYWAY, THANKYOU VERRY MUCH THATS TRIFFIC HE SHOULD BE BETTER NEXT TIME. LOVE HARRY.

El Hagi Sock.

Oh aye, though I've never caught any of them in the act, the folk I suspect to be the culprits have been south asian and white - that's because our town's residents are mainly south asian or white, so all the c*nts of the town tend to be south asian or white. Edit: Right thread.

Wrong thread.

It's nice and green and quiet where I live (really!) - so you get people parking up and eating their lunch, a good number of them must carefully bag up all their waste from the lunch from around their car, bag it up then wind down the window and drop it on the floor and drive off... They'll be up for it if I ever catch them doing it, they better know a good bodywork place - because their car is in for a top booting. Fucking lazy c*nts, it's always almost something shite and unhealthy too (although I have seen the odd cous cous salad carton also) - it's almost like they think if they get rid of the evidence of their shite eating habits straight away, nobody need know, the perfect crime...

Yes, Carlos, nobheads and cunts too (the stonechuckers) and too thick as pig horseshit to see it to be completely counterproductive to their 'cause' and community and arguably exactly what the BNP/EDL want to happen (have their 'peaceful' protest bricked).

I watched a video snippet originating from the other side, some bloke giving a speech through a loudhailer handset, Firetrap T-Shirt, anyhow, he didn't sound very Boltonian at all... Shitstirrers and flying-picket types from both sides of the argument coming to cause mither in our town. They can all get fucked.

Go and befriend him, like that builder GaryTeabiscuit or whatever he was called, did with 'The Hoarder Next Door' - there might be a house in it for you if you play your cards right (like with Gary Richtea)... Seriously, draft him a letter explaining the real or imaginary subsidence issues and see what happens... The bloke may well be simply an oddball or lazy (or both), he might also have his reasons for not giving a f*ck about anything but church - bereavement would be one, mental health issues another (or both). Dialogue is the answer here, if that fails, fifty up front and fifty after to some Hall Lane tinker should do the trick.

There's a pair nesting in his tree.

Given it's proximity you could compose a letter saying you intend to get a surveyor in as there's evidence of subsidence in your house (cracks in plaster etc.) - you've had a builder around and he reckon's it's probably the roots undermining the foundations... If the surveyor confirms this he may be liable for the damage incurred, esppecially if the tree remains and the damage continues. All this can be a load of bollocks, get a mate around with a clipboard and measuring tape to faff about around the tree when he's in and can see the charade. Word the letter right, offer to pay for the tree to be removed and he might fall for it. The only cost would be getting a delightful honest traveller man to get rid of the tree, the rest would be bluff. More advice on root damage is here on this link... http://www.mylawyer.co.uk/trees-and-plants-a-A76076D34459/

Set fire to it, then, hiding behind his Wheelie bin, shout through a rolled up newspaper... ''This is the voice of God! YOU! yes YOU Suitman have been chosen, you must lead your people from The bondage of Pharoah, Now Go! TAKE YOUR PEOPLE TO THE PROMISED LAND!'' That should work, or nip down Hall Lane and ask around, give them the address but not yours, half money up front half after the deed is done...

I suppose so, but Prescott was in 'self-defence' though, rather than a: ''Who do you think you are, y'little bastard? Have some of this...''' Thwump!

I read in John Simpson's autobiography that he (Wilson) punched him full in the stomach as a young reporter (for doorstepping him). Loathe him or hate him, you wouldn't get a politician doing that these days,

Billy Whizz.

This link may be useful... http://www.link2portal.com/directory/rod-hulls-aerial-installation-company-ltd

I'm thinking of doing a Rod Hull this summer and lining my various chimneys in readiness for woodburners, my guttering has issues whilst I'm up there, so if you read about someone plummeting to a Wile E Coyote stylee death, yhihf. I asked a mate who works mainly in computers his opinion of my plans and he reckons ''You'll be reet'' So I reckon' I'll be reet, I've some rope to fashion a safety harness, I'll tie it to a bed and lead it out of a window.

Wait until he's at church, then nip into his garden and set his wheelie bin upright again. That's one of the things ticking you off, ticked off. That'll be £15.88, VAT not included, in consultancy fees.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/epguide/series1_ep3.shtml