Bea Smith

hate to break it to you ali, but youre seriously disturbed mate...... just hope you're not one of these strange lasses who want to jump simon cowells's bones'uuggghhhhh shudder ps, smiley, did you 'get lucky' last night, ??? aint xmas parties great for a guaranteed bonk!!

oh mi beavers dead, sob sob, ( notice its past 6 am and therefore i have no respect for guinea pigs/suicidal people/scum fans) kill em all misuc c pissed tired no sympathy

for my missus sorry, im not with it, due to vast vodka binge last night. im not normally so piggin thick :^o

the car safety one is crash test dummies

several raincoats in the cemetry is- max bygraves

did she say ' id love to phil, but the lead my hubby keeps me on wont stretch that far' ???

one of those extendable ones, which you can lock off at the required length?? so you let her get to the pub, then lock it so she cant get to the bar????? pure evil. bet you have a right laugh when she needs the loo eh? locking the lead 1 step before the loo.

Carlos the greek has declared himself ww vomiting champion. now in all truth, we have all chucked up after beer.when was your worst vomiting experience?? where is the worst place youve ever puked?? the most embarrassing puking situation?? I went to a college ball at the Moat House Hotel, was 18 at the time, feeling very sassy in sexy evening dress, thinking i was cool to drink vast amounts too quickly,( you get the idea) had to suddenly flee the room as urge to vomit hit me hard, got into the corridor, a waitress said she would get me a bucket,( by this time i was cabbaged on the floor), saw a bucket type thing, puked in it, the waitress came back with a bucket, and i had puked in.............................................. go on, guess!!! an ornate silver soup bowl, it looked like vegetable...or was that the puke?????

i think MG- Extreme ironing is more your thing!!!! or even MG- How to survive the Hen-Pecked years!!!!!!! have i gone to far yet???????

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, man pap attack!!!!! it is never good to wear tight t-shirts boys unless your slim n muscely, and there is an obvious lack of man pap.

theres a few gals postin on here now, and some ( who i wont mention :-$ who are girls, but pretend to be blokes on here) and obviously men who are girls, or gay, or cross dressers etc... anyway, to get to the point,heres the ladies night entertainment plan tyler-music how to be the perfect housewife lecture- horwich mud wrestling demonstration-swanny dog training demonstration- swanny. lap dancer- seasoned traveller. lets all chuck a couple o' quid in gals then st can get a new sparkly christmas thong. how much for 'ful monty' st? or do you only go to the thong?

The wife will be over the moon and it wont be off the tv, for the next week . thanks mate forgive for intruding nw- but wouldnt that be the ideal opportuninty to go on holiday for week???? she wouldnt even notice, and you could say you had a 'spray tan'. just and idea..........................

its so unfair, ive never had the joy of telling a football player to feck off. or anyone for that matter. maybe i should hang around carparks and look 15, eh ali?? i never ever get chatted up, ever, is it something to do with huge lump of a husband?????????? missus c feeling unloved badly hungover lacking interest from footie stars

I know a naughty secret about Nolan well it aint a secret if you know about it. Youve got a bigger gob than Cilla off coronation street( your fave programme).

want the smaritans christmas helpline for lonely people???? actually alibob, me n you could volunteer to be samaritans, get leathered and cheer people up over the phone. although occasionally i may be unable to stop myself from shouting 'well go on then, just do it, kill yerself' if it was a scum fan. good idea??? yep???? nope?????? what about working in a soup kitchen then???

It was the 6th Dec-Monday just gone. he's got the spare seat on the coach going to Norwich, theyre all very merry non the coach now, im sssssssssoooooooooooooooooooo jealous!!!

i dont hate st- hes got a blue veined monster!!

surely you need to relate the story to us all again, for the benefit of the new people, like....ME, only then will i be able to wee my pants.

you cant get a hard on again???

you're right babe, it is pointless, considering i get a regular servicing elsewhere.you wouldnt m.o.t and service the car if someone else had already done it would you????

didnt know boys had periods..............

i am just ssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad i was not at lever edge the same time as you 2, thank the Lord. I'd be abnormal..... 8-[

no feminine sensitivity here then??????? couldve called em idiot and snatch.....would that have been any worse?????

you got the wrong approach guys, what we need is armed pensioner millitants. driving around on shop mobility scooters, balaclaved up, with machetes, to simply do drive by slashings on chavs. simple, effective, and piss funny for the security guards watching the cctv.

attract