SatanGreavsie

Old boss at work had it done years ago - he struggled in in the loosest possible trackie-bottoms, walking like a cowboy. I persuaded the safety guy this would be a good time for a fire alarm test - thing is his office was on the 3rd floor so he had to use the stairs instead of the lift. :D/ :D/

http://www.thehob.co.uk/northerner.asp Northern bastard me

far sicker are the Korean parents who force their kids into operations: from http://thunderbay.indymedia.org/news/2004/01/10969.php In South Korea's society of lofty aspirations, mastery of the English language is so highly prized that ambitious parents are forcing their children to have painful tongue surgery in order to give them perfect pronunciation. The operation, which involves snipping the thin tissue under the tongue to make it longer and supposedly nimbler, has become so common that the government has produced a film in an effort to shock parents into shunning the practice. The film, made by the National Human Rights Com-mission, shows a woman taking her son to a clinic so that he can perform flawlessly in his kindergarten's English-language Christmas play. The boy screams as she and the nurses hold him down, with his mother insisting: "It's all for his future." The procedure, which involves chopping half an inch off the frenulum, is often carried out on children under the age of five. Park Jin-pyo, the director of the film, used footage from a real operation and said that most people were unable to watch the surgery scenes. He said: "I wanted them to see how our society tramples our children's human rights in the name of their future." Parents in South Korea, a highly competitive society obsessed with education, already go to great lengths to provide their children with a head start in learning English. They play their children nursery rhymes in the womb, hire expensive tutors for toddlers and send pre-school children to the US for sought-after American accents. Speaking fluent English, the language of choice in global business, is regarded as a prerequisite for getting ahead. English-language teaching is a multibillion-dollar industry, and children as young as seven are sent on evening "crammer" courses. The surgery craze took off because of a perception that Asian people find it difficult to pronounce "l" and "r" sounds. However, doctors ridicule the idea that the Korean tongue is too short or inflexible to cope with the English language, saying that practice - not an operation - is required. Park Bom-chung, a doctor at Kangnam Sacred Heart Hospital in Seoul, said: "Doing the surgery on a normal kid just for English pronunciation doesn't make anatomical sense at all."

Butch Wilkins

Fortunately I was too busy laughing at Gordon Strapon to rise to the Gonk-related bait this time [-( Honest No really :^o Bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fortunately I was too busy laughing at Gordon Strapon to rise to the Gonk-related bait this time [-( Honest No really :^o Bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sean Dyche Lez Ferdinand Borussia Carpetmunchin'gladbach

Now you come to mention it the cheerleaders did look a bit unusual

Dont tell me you had a wank and fell asleep with your nob on the screen...again #-o

"and what did Goldilocks do next?" "she discovered weapons of mass destruction in the bear's house?" " no Mr.President...think porridge" "porridge of mass destruction?"

"Read me the one about Little Red Riding Hood again, go on pleeeease" "OK Mr.President, just once more".

1378 there according to the FA site - not bad as the capacity's only supposed to be 1000 according to Coalville's site

"Jay-Jay Okocha's midfield trickery aside, Wanderers use brute force with and without the ball, succeeding thanks to opponents' own lack of subtlety." Brute force eh? Remind me how long it is since our last sending off?? Yeh, I guess it does tell you summat about the Prem standard that we're 4th; you can also judge Prem standard by the fact that Arsenal can go an entire season unbeaten - but they never choose to look at it that way. And in fact what it really tells you about the current state of the Prem is that if you have a good manager organising a team to its full potential then they can get rewards for it. So there's more to football at the mo than just highly paid twats in London - well, that can only be good. After all, if we were Spurs and were playing an identical way with identical success non of these fuckers would be bleating.

looks like you hit a raw nerve there Biffo

and a big RAM ?

Presumably he'd be bigger than a mere megalo then

It was ??6 fer fuckin Coalville v Liversausage last neet.

Bollocks - must have been at least 600 there. Great stuff - could nip up to the clubhouse bar and take yer pint (??2 for Fosters) down to the side of the pitch and sup while watching. Surprising amount of police out as it turns out in the 1st game the Coalville coaches were stoned, presumably - so the theory goes - by Leeds fans who had a day off that day. And just after kick off there was a bit of argy bargy and the massed ranks of Coalville Yoof were herded in - must have been almost a dozen or so. Aqua would have creamed hisself. Pitch was a shit-heap, teams were'nt much better but Coalville progress as the lowest team in the pyramid system still left in the Cup. Bet they'll get quite a bit of attention off tv etc - film crews will be in for a shock when they turn up at the town though. Absolute middle of nowhere (quite literaly - the furthest place in the Uk from the sea is just up the road), basically one big slag heap. Still, supping yer pint at pitchside - you can't knock it

I hope its pay on the day

This is the new stand! best be a boozer somewhere near

banned for life from Coalville! Life just wouldnt be worth living :^o

Coalville against Liversedge for the right to face Wycombe in the next round. In-bred Leicestershire v Hillbilly Yorkshire banjo boys I think I'll sit on the fence and just concentrate on drinking....

Wear an identical shirt below your matchday one so when you whip the latter off in celebration the ref cant book you.

Garrp - if ignorance really is bliss, then you must be in a state of perpetual orgasm.