I've tried finishing my relationship with the lady i've been seeing for the last few weeks but she just won't accept it.

 

i told her nicely over a meal that it wasn't working for me and she seemed fine.... 4 hours later I got a text planning the next day

 

Next day I was a bit more brutal and she seemed to accept it with a few tears and a hug goodbye... same again to which I told her on the phone that there was no *us*

 

Then came the incessant texts... first loving then hating

 

so I called her and thought I'd sorted it

 

Then came more... so I blocked her number

 

Then came random calls from different numbers

 

so I went to see her and she fuckin offered me money... fuckin money

 

jesus this lass needs help

 

Last straw was when in local earlier and barman told me that a woman had been asking about me

 

 

What the fuck do I do? (police not an option)

 

I could shit through her letterbox before you suggest it but that would be a come on for her

 

 

We're not entering Diddles territory here are we?

 

Don't be silly. Leyth bents and bongs may be somewhat backward in many respects but birthday parties are not always a family only affair.

 

Jazza on the move.

no looks like the message has got home

 

 

she did text me to ask if I was "still going to Dirty Dancing" at Edinburgh playhouse next Monday.

 

i have no recollection of ever agreeing to it in the first place.... a trip to the dentist without anaesthetic sounds better.

 

#the answer was a tactful " no... it's best you take a friend"

 

Next time she is ou on the lash is the test

 

hey, that's my show - you'd better be going as we don't do refunds.

hey, that's my show - you'd better be going as we don't do refunds.

 

This man won't be there!

This man won't be there!

 

Go on,.....you'll have the time of your life

Is Linda's seat for this in the corner?

Nobody puts baby in a corner.

Fair enough, I just hope she didn't book you a premium seat for £82