I've tried finishing my relationship with the lady i've been seeing for the last few weeks but she just won't accept it.

 

i told her nicely over a meal that it wasn't working for me and she seemed fine.... 4 hours later I got a text planning the next day

 

Next day I was a bit more brutal and she seemed to accept it with a few tears and a hug goodbye... same again to which I told her on the phone that there was no *us*

 

Then came the incessant texts... first loving then hating

 

so I called her and thought I'd sorted it

 

Then came more... so I blocked her number

 

Then came random calls from different numbers

 

so I went to see her and she fuckin offered me money... fuckin money

 

jesus this lass needs help

 

Last straw was when in local earlier and barman told me that a woman had been asking about me

 

 

What the fuck do I do? (police not an option)

 

I could shit through her letterbox before you suggest it but that would be a come on for her

Not biting today...

Another random text now ""xx sweety miss u x phone x"

 

Wonder who that was from

 

Definitely get rid, she cant even spell sweaty right

Is Linda actually an exotic dancer or are you making that up? because I really dont see it.

Anything's possible in the barren wastelands of the North.

all quiet today until half an hour ago when i got an apologetic text saying she had gone to see her doctor earlier

 

I hope you didn't fertilise her Scotch eggs.

Reckon that ship has passed about 15 years ago.

Is Linda actually an exotic dancer or are you making that up? because I really dont see it.

 

She was... got a cracking flexible body.... had kids since and lost a few marbles.

 

We seem to be sorted now.

 

 

She was... got a cracking flexible body.... had kids since and lost a few marbles.

 

We seem to be sorted now.

 

Back together then?

Back together then?

 

no looks like the message has got home

 

 

she did text me to ask if I was "still going to Dirty Dancing" at Edinburgh playhouse next Monday.

 

i have no recollection of ever agreeing to it in the first place.... a trip to the dentist without anaesthetic sounds better.

 

#the answer was a tactful " no... it's best you take a friend"

 

Next time she is ou on the lash is the test

no looks like the message has got home

 

 

she did text me to ask if I was "still going to Dirty Dancing" at Edinburgh playhouse next Monday.

 

i have no recollection of ever agreeing to it in the first place.... a trip to the dentist without anaesthetic sounds better.

 

#the answer was a tactful " no... it's best you take a friend"

 

Next time she is ou on the lash is the test

thank f**k for that, is this the end then?

thank f**k for that, is this the end then?

Would you still knob her if you bumped into her in the pub though after a heavy sesh ?

Would you still knob her if you bumped into her in the pub though after a heavy sesh ?

No

 

 

no looks like the message has got home

 

 

she did text me to ask if I was "still going to Dirty Dancing" at Edinburgh playhouse next Monday.

 

i have no recollection of ever agreeing to it in the first place.... a trip to the dentist without anaesthetic sounds better.

 

#the answer was a tactful " no... it's best you take a friend"

 

Next time she is ou on the lash is the test

 

I can just see it now, your house on bricks and the awning Stanley knifed to bits

Next time she is ou on the lash is the test

 

about 4 hours time then?

Is it not 24 hr drinking in Scotchland?

Is it not 24 hr drinking in Scotchland?

 

It is in Jazza's caravan.

Very nice.

forgetting the caravan pokes ... what kind of fuckin man willingly goes to see dirty fuckin dancing. no wonder her last man turned gay.

"Still going to DIrty Dancing"

 

Did she mean the show, or was it an invite for you to watch her roll back the years?

forgetting the caravan pokes ... what kind of fuckin man willingly goes to see dirty fuckin dancing. no wonder her last man turned gay.

 

I have a male friend whose karaoke song is I've had the time of my life. He's not a bender either. Mental like, but not bent.

 

And don't pretend you don't all have a karaoke song you wheel out when you're leathered in a rough pub.

Edited December 5, 201213 yr by no balls

I have a male friend whose karaoke song is I've had the time of my life. He's not a bender either. Mental like, but not bent.

 

And don't pretend you don't all have a karaoke song you wheel out when you're leathered in a rough pub.

 

I am the resurrection

 

Being in tune not neccessary, you see.

That song, "I've had the time of my life"...

 

Athy Arms, someone distant relatives birthday bash, got fingers wet for the first time.

 

Vicky she was called. Lived up Hag Fowd.

 

Probably a grandma now, 3 or 4 times over.

 

Classy lass.

Athy Arms, someone distant relatives birthday bash, got fingers wet for the first time.

 

 

We're not entering Diddles territory here are we?

We're not entering Diddles territory here are we?

 

Ha Ha! Smiffs in cousin fingering shocker! I really wouldn't put it past him..