Talking to a mate last night we were reminded of some urban myths from our youth - 

 

1) The old man who lived alone at the top of our street and who only came out after dark was a vampire

2) Dean Holdsworth had two ribs removed so he could suck himself off

3) You could catch AIDS from the seat in the 3rd trap in the bogs at the Water Place

4) A lad at another school dislocated his hip, and died because the paramedics popped it back in but one of his balls had fallen in the socket first and the pain killed him

5) Damon Albarn had been taken to hospital and they'd found a pint of spunk in his stomach

 

Any more?

Talking to a mate last night we were reminded of some urban myths from our youth - 

 

1) The old man who lived alone at the top of our street and who only came out after dark was a vampire

2) Dean Holdsworth had two ribs removed so he could suck himself off

3) You could catch AIDS from the seat in the 3rd trap in the bogs at the Water Place

4) A lad at another school dislocated his hip, and died because the paramedics popped it back in but one of his balls had fallen in the socket first and the pain killed him

5) Damon Albarn had been taken to hospital and they'd found a pint of spunk in his stomach

 

Any more?

 

No.5 was Marc Almond

Before I started secondary school, there were rumours that we all had to undergo a medical and walk around naked in the assembly hall with all the other students.  I had nightmares about it!

No 2 was Michael Jackson.

It was also Richard Gere

One was that they had dolphins at Horwich Baths.

no 2 is ANEWMAN

 

and PRINCE

One was that they had dolphins at Horwich Baths.

It'th twue I tell you!

no 2 is ANEWMAN

 

and PRINCE

 

Anewman had two ribs removed so Prince could suck him off?

 

Or the other way round?

Prince - it was always Prince...Obviously when you're surrounded by the type of girls he surrounds himself with, your primary concern is being able to give yourself a blowjob.

 

Richard Gere uses empty toilet rolls and rodents to tickle his walnut (not his acorn).

Purple Aki would bum you then carve PA into your bum cheeks.

 

Turns out he'd just make you do some squats and touch you up a bit.

NB had her legs removed so she could suck LW off

Purple Aki would bum you then carve PA into your bum cheeks.

 

Turns out he'd just make you do some squats and touch you up a bit.

 

One was that they had dolphins at Horwich Baths.

 

PROOF!!!  22nd Feb 1985 said it was 8 years before so 1977.

 

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/lookingback/5021119.From_our_archives/

Edited September 25, 201312 yr by Big City Girl

There was the one about the lad that had a wank on his bed with his headphones on, once he'd finished he opened his eyes and there was a fresh cup of tea and a biscuit on his bedside table.

 

A girl at Canon Slade had allegedly been doing herself with a frozen sausage and half broke off inside her.

 

Our RE teacher warned the girls about using empty glass bottles as dildos (yep, he actually did this when I was in class) as, if there is no top on it, then it can create a vacuum and as they pull it out it could kill them.  Not sure if he offered his knob as a substitute.

When we were kids me and a mate bullshitted that we'd seen a black bloke in a tweed suit lurking in the Brooklyn Pub's bushes to try and make a grab for a lad (who was walkng to meet us) to shit him up, he bought into it so much he told his mam and dad - we had to play along with it and give this detailed description of a non-existent dodgy character lying in wait to pounce.

 

We kept adding the most ludicrous details like facial scars and kipper ties - they were going to ring the O.B. and everything, actually, on reflection, they probably only threatened to ring them to shit me and the other lying git up - it's only just occurred to me now, that.

Edited September 25, 201312 yr by Youri McAnespie

Another pair:

 

Kid was doing an exam and the question was "Define bravery" and he wrote "This" and walked out. Got an A.

 

Similar version from a philosophy exam and question was "Why?" and kid wrote "Why not?" and walked out. Got an A.

Our RE teacher warned the girls about using empty glass bottles as dildos (yep, he actually did this when I was in class) as, if there is no top on it, then it can create a vacuum and as they pull it out it could kill them.  Not sure if he offered his knob as a substitute.

 

Supposed to have happened to Posh Spice that

PROOF!!!  22nd Feb 1985 said it was 8 years before so 1977.

 

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/lookingback/5021119.From_our_archives/

 

Get in.

 

2 from 2 so far.

 

I just knew that either you or NB would say it was true pretty quickly after my post and I also expected some form of proof to follow.

 

Boom!

 

xxx

Heard there was a miniature bald kid in Bolton that liked wanking his mates off.

Supposed to have happened to Posh Spice that

 

She used my RE teacher's knob as a substitute dildo?

She used my RE teacher's knob as a substitute dildo?

 

No, suffered the bottle vacuum problem.

 

I refuse to believe the one about the farm in the middle of the M62 being there because the owner refused to sell

I heard an Urban Myth about a school which will remain nameless, famous ex-pupils however include P*ddy Mc*uiness and P*ter K*y, who are in no way related to the incidents, well, the story goes that a group of male teachers there used to 'date' to (female) pupils.

No.5 was Marc Almond

 

it was also a woman who ate at (insert takeaway) in (insert place in bolton), at first they presumed she was a prostitute, turns out it was food served in (insert takeaway)

 

#2 was also Prince and the singer from Erasure

If you pissed in the pool at the Water Place the water would all turn a different colour.

 

Also int he Water Place, people were putting razor blades inbetween the sections of the slides.

Feel sorry for kids of today - five seconds on Google and you've debunked them all.