bolty58

Wrong Youri :-)

You're twatting them from the wrong angle.

I knew that even mentioning the term would suck you in

OK, which one of you has hijacked yon yoghourt knitters account?

FFS Daz - can we please have a ginger warning when you're going to post summat like that. That pasty skin would put me right off. Give me a sultry and smouldering latina every time.

That's alreet then Some more magnificent mammaries here (probably 50% silicone at least).

You mean you're not a BWFC fan?

His cousin is a Scotsman???!!!

Nowt wrong with Kelly Brooks set but I think www.nadine.de edges it if you're judging norks only:-

That's the spirit. Convince you of the existence of social engineers and we could be allies

You need a visit from Agent 00 Soul anewman. Thankfully, RV seems to be related to him

Can I moan about 'guna'? FFS.

A vital victory and 'winning ugly' does not bother me one bit. We seem to be building a winning momentum and this I like a lot. If we were to take 7 from the next nine available points, I will be starting to get a little excited.

Saw this definition today which I like. "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional and illogical minority and rapidly promoted by mainstream media which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end."

Owd on RV- I listen every time I am there pal :-)

Be a while til you get a response. He'll be at brass band practice.

Everything is

May not be time for 'I told you so' but so nice to read some positive comments amongst the tidal wave of negative shit which seems to be the norm on here.

Ahem! I am sure there was another. Can't remember exactly who.............................

Jazza coming round is he?

Amen brother.

Some old uns amongst this lot but one or two raised a smile:- Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK! The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part. I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster. My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off. I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it. After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, “fuck it, soldier on!” I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast until 11:30. Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel. The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!" My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!" A girl I know said the last time she had sex, it was like the men's Olympic 100 meter final. I laughed, "Over in 9.5 seconds?" "No," she said, "Eight black men and a gun." A Catholic boy in confession says, “Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister.” “That's a disgrace,” said the priest, “especially when you have two gorgeous brothers.” A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to this country so that they can see their own doctor. I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

Regrettable. Horrible greasy hairstyle. Are they combining them with 'DA's'? Apparently name comes from the French word for hairstylist - 'coiffure'. Seems we can blame the French then?

Crewe. A proper railway town. Not one of your foibles too is it, Malcolm?

I was always taught that the English national anthem is 'Land of hope and glory'. Seems that wasn't correct after all. Ridiculous decision not to play GSTQ. If those stupid bastards want to boo their own national anthem, let em. Cut em adrift along with the jocks. Millstones around Englands neck.